Quotes / The Devil Is a Loser

"Jesus, what the hell happened to you? You got kicked out of here for being a headstrong rebel. And now you're a whiny little bitch."
God, South Park.

The devil is a loser and he's my bitch
For better or for worse and you don't care which
The devil is a loser and he's my bitch
Runnin' into trouble you skitch
He's my bitch
Lordi, The Devil's a Loser (And He's My Bitch)

Utahraptor: Hey, T-Rex, isn't it great how the Devil is PRETTY LAME?
The Devil: I WOULD DISAGREE WITH THAT PARTICULAR ASSESSMENT. T-REX, YOUR COMPANION IS CLEARLY UNFAMILIAR WITH MY PROWESS IN THE REALM OF MMORPGS. THE CHRONICLES OF MY DARK ELF CHARACTER ARE ASSUREDLY THE STUFF OF LEGEND.

"I told you once you son of a bitch I'm the best that's ever been!"
Johnny, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"

Bob: Get Out! There must be somebody else that you can annoy?
Devil: That's all I am to you, is annoying? I am the source of all evil in the universe, and I'm "annoying"?!

"*singing to the BGM* The devil is a wiener, the devil is a wiener, the devil is a wiener..."

"Yeah, that sometimes happens, all portals to Hell are immediately redirected to the throne room to avoid confusion, bla bla bla, itíd be great if you two could just stand in a corner while I finish my coffee," the devil said, sinking into his chair and lifting the newspaper a little higher. He could feel a headache coming on. Itís too early for this, itís too early for this-
— The fic 'Portal to Hell'

"Lucifer has me bound to him. Some unseemly little spell. He has me where he wants, when he wants. That's why I couldn't go to you. I had to wait for you to catch up. He's made me his weapon. Hurricanes. Floods. Raising the dead. I'm more powerful than you can process, and I'm enslaved to a bratty child having a tantrum."
Death, Supernatural

Gabriel: Lucifer, you're my brother and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.
Lucifer: What'd you just say to me?
Gabriel: Look at yourself. Boo-hoo! Daddy was mean to me so I'm gonna smash up all his toys!
Lucifer: Watch your tone.
Gabriel: Play the victim all you want. But you and me? We know the truth. Dad loved you best. More than Michael, more than me. Then he brought the new baby home, and you couldn't handle it. So all this is just a great big temper tantrum. Time to grow up.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/TheDevilIsALoser