So, in this comic we find out Superboy
would rather be pimping out his ho than saving innocents.
Hordes of impressionable poverty-stricken young people having all their arms and legs broken by an extremely rich businessman.
You’d think that Peter Parker’s own extremely non-lucrative journalism career would give him a little more sympathy for the sad souls who pissed their editors off enough
to be exiled to the Spider-Man beat for their various publications. But nope, being Spider-Man means you can just be a stone-cold dick to whoever you want!
This is like when Harry Osborn needed my blood to save his own life
, but I wouldn't share it with him for some reason, even though sharing my super-blood to save a friend's life is a pretty straightforward superhero thing to do. Which makes it even weirder that I spent so much time convincing everyone that Harry and I were old friends. It's almost like I'm ... Oh, God. I didn't realize this but ... I'm an asshole.
Should you ever doubt that the Internet is truly a magical place, consider this: Any time you want, you can head over to YouTube and watch a VHS rip of 17 minutes of live-action bumpers from 1995
where an actress dressed as Japan’s greatest superheroine talks about the episodes, gives life lessons, and reads fan mail....Maybe the best part of the entire thing, aside from the gloriously cheerful enthusiasm that (Tia) Browsh shows in her role, is how completely harsh she is in shutting down questions from fans
. Admittedly, this is perfectly in character for Serena — she always was a little selfish — but dang, those poor kids who wrote in asking if they could one day become Sailor Scouts probably had their whole weekend ruined when Sailor Moon not only told them no, but told that one poor kid he was a “bean brain.” Not cool, Serena. At least let me—uh, them down gently.
, "17 Minutes Of Live-Action Sailor Moon
: Superman flies out to space and listens to things for a little bit, and I’m not sure if this is intentional on Singer’s part or if we’re just reading into it, but he definitely hears sirens and gunfire and babies crying, but doesn’t move an inch until he hears the alarm from someone robbing a bank. Superman is all about the 1%, y’all. David
: I never picked up on that. Oh my God, he really has truly messed up priorities.
In Superman #701
, our hero runs some black drug dealers out of a foreclosed neighborhood in which they’ve set up shop. (These are, it should be mentioned, the first and nearly only black people
he meets while walking through Philadelphia
, a city with a higher proportion of African-Americans than New York City.) Superman’s brilliant strategy for getting rid of the drug dealers is to set fire to the drug stashes in each of their houses with his heat vision, and then… leave
. Now, I guess you can read the comic and assume that he has the whole thing under control because, you know, he’s Superman. But setting a half-dozen large fires throughout a neighborhood and then just walking away
As he leaves, Superman comes across a magical white child
who appears and offers him candy. Superman smiles, asks this random little kid to deliver a message to the drug dealers for him (?!?)