Jacopo: Right. We kill these people- then we spend the treasure.
The Count: No. We will study them. Learn their weaknesses...
Jacopo: Why not just kill them? I'll do it, I'll run up to Paris- bam, bam, bam- I'm back by week's end, we spend the treasure! How is this a bad plan?
The Count: Death is too good for them. They must suffer as I suffered.
The Count: No. We will study them. Learn their weaknesses...
Jacopo: Why not just kill them? I'll do it, I'll run up to Paris- bam, bam, bam- I'm back by week's end, we spend the treasure! How is this a bad plan?
The Count: Death is too good for them. They must suffer as I suffered.
"Why doesn't somebody pull out a .45 and BANG, settle it?"
— Lee, Enter the Dragon
Dr. Hell: …You can come out now.
Gestalt: Your obsession with Photon Power is…amusing.
Dr. Hell: This King of Hell isn’t enough to fight the Ba’al with…only with Photon Power can we survive!
Sayuri: Do you think those three clowns will even succeed?
Dr. Hell: They will live up to my expectations! I have high hopes for Baron Ashura.
Gestalt: And why the elaborate call for a showdown? If you wanted the Photon Power so badly, you could’ve taken the Photon Labs while ZEXIS were dealing with Insalaum!
Dr. Hell: You fools could never hope to understand my plans!
Sayuri: Perhaps. In any case good luck (not!) for the battle.
Gestalt: You might need it more than you think! Mwahaha!
Gestalt: Your obsession with Photon Power is…amusing.
Dr. Hell: This King of Hell isn’t enough to fight the Ba’al with…only with Photon Power can we survive!
Sayuri: Do you think those three clowns will even succeed?
Dr. Hell: They will live up to my expectations! I have high hopes for Baron Ashura.
Gestalt: And why the elaborate call for a showdown? If you wanted the Photon Power so badly, you could’ve taken the Photon Labs while ZEXIS were dealing with Insalaum!
Dr. Hell: You fools could never hope to understand my plans!
Sayuri: Perhaps. In any case good luck (not!) for the battle.
Gestalt: You might need it more than you think! Mwahaha!
— Saint-ism LP of Scenario 47, Super Robot Wars Z2: Saisei-Hen
Flik: No! Wait, wait, wait! Please! You can't go! You gotta help me! Gimme some time! I'll come up with a plan!
Heimlich: Just go tell them the truth!
Flik: They can't! They can't know the truth! The truth, you see, is bad! I will be branded with this mistake for the rest of my life! My children's children will walk down the street and people will point and say "Look, there goes the spawn of Flik, the loser!"
Heimlich: Just go tell them the truth!
Flik: They can't! They can't know the truth! The truth, you see, is bad! I will be branded with this mistake for the rest of my life! My children's children will walk down the street and people will point and say "Look, there goes the spawn of Flik, the loser!"
Dr. Evil: All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.
(guard starts dipping mechanism)
Dr. Evil: Close the tank!
Scott Evil: Wait, aren't you even gonna watch them? They could get away!
Dr. Evil: No, no, no, I'm gonna leave them alone and not actually witness them dying. I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?
Scott Evil: I have a gun in my room. You give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM! I'll blow their brains out!
Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.
(guard starts dipping mechanism)
Dr. Evil: Close the tank!
Scott Evil: Wait, aren't you even gonna watch them? They could get away!
Dr. Evil: No, no, no, I'm gonna leave them alone and not actually witness them dying. I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?
Scott Evil: I have a gun in my room. You give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM! I'll blow their brains out!
Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.
—Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Calvin: All right, here's the plan! We make up a fake code with fake instructions and see that it "accidentally" falls into Susie's hands! She decodes the message, which says we don't want her to go behind our house! Naturally, she'll go there, and we'll be waiting, ready to soak her with water balloons!
Hobbes: Why don't we just hit her with water balloons right now, where she's sitting?
Calvin: You're a good officer, Hobbes, but let's face it, you don't have an executive mind.
Hobbes: Why don't we just hit her with water balloons right now, where she's sitting?
Calvin: You're a good officer, Hobbes, but let's face it, you don't have an executive mind.
Calvin: What are we going to do, Hobbes? Rosalyn will be here in just a few hours!
Hobbes: Do you think she'll remember how you locked her outside last time?
Calvin: If she does, we're dead! She'll probably stick my head on a stake in the front yard as a warning to other kids she baby-sits!
Hobbes: I'm almost sure that would violate some zoning ordinance.
Calvin: Well no matter what, we're in big trouble unless we think of something fast!
Hobbes: I suppose we could try being good.
Calvin: I must've gotten water in my ear. What did you say?
Hobbes: (rolling his eyes) Nothing. Forget it.
Hobbes: Do you think she'll remember how you locked her outside last time?
Calvin: If she does, we're dead! She'll probably stick my head on a stake in the front yard as a warning to other kids she baby-sits!
Hobbes: I'm almost sure that would violate some zoning ordinance.
Calvin: Well no matter what, we're in big trouble unless we think of something fast!
Hobbes: I suppose we could try being good.
Calvin: I must've gotten water in my ear. What did you say?
Hobbes: (rolling his eyes) Nothing. Forget it.
Jesus Christ, man! Why don't you just try acting instead?!
That's right Kaiba, I'm basically in charge of your company now. Remember in Season 1 when I was trying to do that and had to resort to kidnapping? It turns out I could have just done this.
— Pegasus having just bought the majority of the shares in Kaiba Corp., Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series
Technical Boy: Wait, we're leaving? We've got him right here, why don't we just kill him?
Mr. World: That man has more knowledge and wisdom than you will ever have, and deserves our respect.
Mr. World: That man has more knowledge and wisdom than you will ever have, and deserves our respect.
Sub-Mariner: As for you, I commanded the monsters of the deep to reveal themselves at sea, knowing you would come to investigate! For I have a message to be delivered to the surface world—and I want you to deliver it! The air-breathing humans will believe what they are told by the Fantastic Four!
The Thing: It woulda been cheaper to send a telegram, you water-logged ham!
The Thing: It woulda been cheaper to send a telegram, you water-logged ham!
Sydney: I know we were convinced there were horrible deathtraps waiting for us on the other side of the portal, but it's too bad you couldn't have just put your tracking spell on a rock and kicked that through.
*two panels of Dabbler silently freaking out*
Dabbler: ... Don't you have a class to get to?
Sydney: You mean that would have worked?!
*two panels of Dabbler silently freaking out*
Dabbler: ... Don't you have a class to get to?
Sydney: You mean that would have worked?!
— Grrl Power, here
Br'er Fox: That big ol' rabbit won't get away this time. No sir, we'll catch him, sure! I'll catch him, sure!
Br'er Bear: But, uh, that's what you said the last time before, and the time before that, and the... Look, let's just knock his head clean off.
Br'er Fox: Oh, no, indeed, ain't nothing smart about that. I'm gonna show him who the smartest is, and that Tar Baby'll do the rest!
[and once they've caught Br'er Rabbit]
Br'er Bear: I'm gonna knock his head clean off!
Br'er Fox: No, no, no, that's too quick! We gotta make him suffer!
Melinda: No, wait! [The Moon Landing] still could have been faked! All you'd have to do is secretly develop computer-graphics technology decades ahead of its time, convince multiple governments to lie on our behalf, and then...somehow...get retro-reflectors to the Moon...without actually going there...You can do that, right?
Stanley Kubrick: Forget it, lady. It'd be easier to put a man on the Moon.
Nick Fury: Banner and I spend six months trying to get Thor to join the team, and the one thing we never thought of was inviting him for dinner.
Frieza: Just as I suspected. My skills have grown a bit rusty around the edges. It seems I may need to wait a tad long before exacting my sweet revenge.
Sorbet: Uh, your revenge, sir?
Frieza: Don't tell me you're surprised. Of course, my vengeance must be satisfied! I won't rest until both those Super Simians are vanquished! They'll pay for what they did to me, and they'll pay in blood!
Tagoma: Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, but wouldn't it be wiser to forget about the Saiyans, my Lord, and focus on the rest of the universe?
[Without a word, Frieza blasts Tagoma out of the ship and into space]
Sorbet: Uh, your revenge, sir?
Frieza: Don't tell me you're surprised. Of course, my vengeance must be satisfied! I won't rest until both those Super Simians are vanquished! They'll pay for what they did to me, and they'll pay in blood!
Tagoma: Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, but wouldn't it be wiser to forget about the Saiyans, my Lord, and focus on the rest of the universe?
[Without a word, Frieza blasts Tagoma out of the ship and into space]
Kayaba: If you want to know the whole truth, I figured that as long as this slow-motion train wreck kept going, I could at least use you guys as hostages to keep the Feds off my back until I figured a way out of this mess. Not that I ever came up with one...
Asuna: Why didn't you just blame it on some hacker group that was pretending to be you? Woulda made more sense than the truth, and it's not like you had any kind of motive.
Kayaba: Yeah, okay. See Asuna, the problem with that, is that it's an excellent idea I wish I had thought of two years ago... Anyhoo, on that sobering note, I think I'm just going to go scream into that uncaring void for a bit.
Asuna: Why didn't you just blame it on some hacker group that was pretending to be you? Woulda made more sense than the truth, and it's not like you had any kind of motive.
Kayaba: Yeah, okay. See Asuna, the problem with that, is that it's an excellent idea I wish I had thought of two years ago... Anyhoo, on that sobering note, I think I'm just going to go scream into that uncaring void for a bit.
"And then a cool trick to determine pasta's doneness is to take a strand out and... eat it. See if it's done. Don't throw it against the wall, you friggin' weirdo."
—Basics with Babish, "Carbonara"
Nick Fury: My big question is how you and your PR people can spin this debacle into something that doesn't make the Ultimates look like a gaggle of retards, honey.
Betty Ross: Oh, come on now, Nick, that's easy. Just hush up the Bruce Banner connection and all your little super people here go down in history as the heroes who saved Manhattan, of course.
[Bugs Bunny returns home to find his house flooded, before opening the closet door]
Speedy Gonzales: [turning off the pipe] What's going on, man!? I was taking a nap. I almost drowned!
Bugs: I was trying put up a shelf and I drilled into a water pipe.
Speedy: Why didn't you just pay someone to put it up for you? I don't get it.
Bugs: I won the Nobel Prize. I think I can put up a shelf.
Speedy: Oh, the Nobel Prize, huh? What did you get it for, making bad decisions?
Speedy Gonzales: [turning off the pipe] What's going on, man!? I was taking a nap. I almost drowned!
Bugs: I was trying put up a shelf and I drilled into a water pipe.
Speedy: Why didn't you just pay someone to put it up for you? I don't get it.
Bugs: I won the Nobel Prize. I think I can put up a shelf.
Speedy: Oh, the Nobel Prize, huh? What did you get it for, making bad decisions?
Phineas: I know! We could create a highly intricate and sophisticated machine, that will transport any object from anywhere on the globe to our backyard!
Lawrence: Well, why don't you just build a new skateboard?
[Beat]
Phineas: Nah, I don't think so.
Ferb: If it's all the same with you, Father, we're going to build the machine.
—Phineas and Ferb, "Picture This."
Marisa: Now, open this door!
Prismrivers: This door doesn't open.
Marisa: Then what do you do to get through it?!
Prismrivers: We just fly over it.
Marisa: ...Oh.
Prismrivers: This door doesn't open.
Marisa: Then what do you do to get through it?!
Prismrivers: We just fly over it.
Marisa: ...Oh.
Candace: Wait that's it! I'll trick Jeremy into writing a letter to Santa, so I can sneak a peek and learn what he wants straight from the horse's mouth. And by "mouth" I mean "pen", and by "horse" I mean Jeremy, and... yeah we're good.
Phineas: Or you could ask him directly what he wants to avoid any unnecessary complications.
[Beat]
Candace: You are such a child sometimes.
Phineas: Or you could ask him directly what he wants to avoid any unnecessary complications.
[Beat]
Candace: You are such a child sometimes.
Minion: Most revered leader Hokum, we have a rare opportunity at hand. With the rebel leadership and the Kryptonian in our sights, is it out of bounds for me to suggest an option? A nuclear option perhaps?
Harry Hokum: It is a tempting thought, isn't it? But this is a chess game. And I am four moves ahead.
Harry Hokum: It is a tempting thought, isn't it? But this is a chess game. And I am four moves ahead.
Kyle: You idiots! You had a robot brain?! Why not just put that into Fanboy?
Fanbot: Huh. Um... I guess because then I wouldn't have the...robot claws?
Chum Chum: Robot claws!
Fanbot: Huh. Um... I guess because then I wouldn't have the...robot claws?
Chum Chum: Robot claws!
Tom: One of you go in [TGI Friday's] and clear the way. We need the hidden entrance behind the mirror in the employee bathroom.
Jake: Okay. If I morph skunk, and spray the kitchen...
Marco: They might try and exterminate you. I could morph President Boatwright, tell them it’s a national emergency?
Tom: You have President Boatwright’s DNA?
Jake: Moot point. Why would the president show up anywhere barefoot and alone? I’d assume it was a prank or an attack before I ever thought you were really her.
Tom: Fine. Then go in there, and tell them you’re Jake Berenson and you need the yeerk pool entrance in their employee bathroom to deal with a national security risk you can’t say anything about.
[Jake and Marco glance at each other]
Jake: Oh. Yeah, I could do that.
Jake: Okay. If I morph skunk, and spray the kitchen...
Marco: They might try and exterminate you. I could morph President Boatwright, tell them it’s a national emergency?
Tom: You have President Boatwright’s DNA?
Jake: Moot point. Why would the president show up anywhere barefoot and alone? I’d assume it was a prank or an attack before I ever thought you were really her.
Tom: Fine. Then go in there, and tell them you’re Jake Berenson and you need the yeerk pool entrance in their employee bathroom to deal with a national security risk you can’t say anything about.
[Jake and Marco glance at each other]
Jake: Oh. Yeah, I could do that.
— Eleutherophobia: How I Live Now
Plankton: No! How is this possible?! I freeze his place solid and he turns it into an ice rink! He's making more money than ever!
Karen: That's because, unlike you, he's a good businessman.
Plankton: Well, if it isn't the wind beneath my wings.
Karen: I don't understand why you don't just steal a Krabby Patty in all that confusion.
Plankton: I'll be right back. [chuckles]
Karen: I don't know why I encourage him.
Karen: That's because, unlike you, he's a good businessman.
Plankton: Well, if it isn't the wind beneath my wings.
Karen: I don't understand why you don't just steal a Krabby Patty in all that confusion.
Plankton: I'll be right back. [chuckles]
Karen: I don't know why I encourage him.
— SpongeBob SquarePants, "Krabs a la Mode"
Nico: (puzzling over a lock) No one has a skeleton key on them, do they?
Alex: Maybe Karolina could use her powers on it?
Gert: How? By bedazzling it open? Besides, if she de-bracelets, she's gonna light up the backyard like the Century Club.
Karolina: But what if I focused all of my energy out of a single finger and shot, like, a concentrated energy beam-
Chase: Move.
(he smashes the lock open with a shovel)
Chase: You guys think too much.
Alex: Maybe Karolina could use her powers on it?
Gert: How? By bedazzling it open? Besides, if she de-bracelets, she's gonna light up the backyard like the Century Club.
Karolina: But what if I focused all of my energy out of a single finger and shot, like, a concentrated energy beam-
Chase: Move.
(he smashes the lock open with a shovel)
Chase: You guys think too much.
Bill: Hey, wait a second. How'd you uh... kill Barry?
Cricket: I just took the batteries out.
Bill: Oh.
Gramma: Right.
Tilly: The batteries.
Cricket: I just took the batteries out.
Bill: Oh.
Gramma: Right.
Tilly: The batteries.
—Big City Greens, "Barry Cuda"
Galatea: I've set the ship to destroy itself!
Bob: What?!
Galatea: It's the only way, Uncle! Don't you see? It's the only way!!!
Bob: But couldn't you just take the machine apart? Or break it?
Galatea: ............... oh. um...
Bob: What is the matter with you?!
Galatea: I think I'm doing very well for my age!
Bob: What?!
Galatea: It's the only way, Uncle! Don't you see? It's the only way!!!
Bob: But couldn't you just take the machine apart? Or break it?
Galatea: ............... oh. um...
Bob: What is the matter with you?!
Galatea: I think I'm doing very well for my age!
—The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob!: when Galatea concludes her new invention has to be destroyed before it falls into the wrong hands.
before it falls into the wrong hands.Mimsy: D'aah, hey, boss, it seems like every time you come up with a plan, it kind of backfires on ya. If you really don't wanna go to summer camp so bad, why don't you just tell your parents how you feel? You know, tell 'em you don't wanna go and just see how they react?
[Nathan stares at him.]
Mimsy: Wait, wait, I got it. [slaps himself] "Shut up, Mimsy!"
Nathan: Hey, Mimsy.
Mimsy: Yeah?
Nathan: [slaps him] Shut up!
[Nathan stares at him.]
Mimsy: Wait, wait, I got it. [slaps himself] "Shut up, Mimsy!"
Nathan: Hey, Mimsy.
Mimsy: Yeah?
Nathan: [slaps him] Shut up!
— South Park, "Handicar"
Scammmer: Right now you have to do it in the other way.
Kitboga: I-I don't wanna do it any other way. Do the chargeback.
Scammer: No, I cannot do the chargeback right now. You have to do it the other way.
Kitboga: Why?
Scammer: Because it will take some time to complete this procedure and we want the mistake to be rectified today.
Kitboga: But you just said that there's two ways to do the procedure. Do the chargeback.
Kitboga: I-I don't wanna do it any other way. Do the chargeback.
Scammer: No, I cannot do the chargeback right now. You have to do it the other way.
Kitboga: Why?
Scammer: Because it will take some time to complete this procedure and we want the mistake to be rectified today.
Kitboga: But you just said that there's two ways to do the procedure. Do the chargeback.
— The scambaiter Kitboga and a refund scammer, as memorialized in the song "Do the Chargeback"
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