Robert Lutece: I told you they'd come.
Rosalind Lutece: No, you didn't.
Robert: RIGHT, I was going to tell you they'd come.
Rosalind: But you didn't.
Robert: But I DON'T.
Rosalind: You sure that's right?
Robert: I was going to HAVE told you they'd come?
Rosalind: No.
Robert: The subjunctive?
Rosalind: That's not the subjunctive.
Robert: I don't think the syntax has been invented yet.
Rosalind: It would had to have had been.
Robert: Had to have... had... been? That can't be right.
Rosalind Lutece: No, you didn't.
Robert: RIGHT, I was going to tell you they'd come.
Rosalind: But you didn't.
Robert: But I DON'T.
Rosalind: You sure that's right?
Robert: I was going to HAVE told you they'd come?
Rosalind: No.
Robert: The subjunctive?
Rosalind: That's not the subjunctive.
Robert: I don't think the syntax has been invented yet.
Rosalind: It would had to have had been.
Robert: Had to have... had... been? That can't be right.
Tatsugoro: No doubt about it, Teriyaki Chicken pairs the best with this white rice.
Artorius: Utter nonsense, Teriyaki. This Porkloin Cutlet is what clearly pairs the best with this white rice.
Alphonse Flugel: I can't listen to this. Curry Rice is best! The truth is located in the dishes name. Curry Rice is obvioulsy best suited to rice.
Lionel: Give me seconds! Pork Cutlet Ricebowl. It cannot exist without rice.
Gaganpo: (Takes a spoonful of Omlette Rice) Delicious.
Tatsugoro: I'm talking about what goes best with "White Rice". The dishes you've mentioned are in a different category.
Alphonse Flugel: Are you truly implying that Curry Rice doesn't contain White Rice? This man is blind, aren't ya?
Artorius: Utter nonsense, Teriyaki. This Porkloin Cutlet is what clearly pairs the best with this white rice.
Alphonse Flugel: I can't listen to this. Curry Rice is best! The truth is located in the dishes name. Curry Rice is obvioulsy best suited to rice.
Lionel: Give me seconds! Pork Cutlet Ricebowl. It cannot exist without rice.
Gaganpo: (Takes a spoonful of Omlette Rice) Delicious.
Tatsugoro: I'm talking about what goes best with "White Rice". The dishes you've mentioned are in a different category.
Alphonse Flugel: Are you truly implying that Curry Rice doesn't contain White Rice? This man is blind, aren't ya?
Guy: ...Okay look, it's very simple dude. The Autobots and Decepticons woke up after 65 million years of being in emergency stasis, when the volcano that they crash-landed on erupted.
Ellars: Oh come on, what are you talking about "Millions of Years"? The volcano would have had to have erupted hundreds of times. What'd they do? Hit the "Volcano-Snooze" Button?
Guy: Look, I don't know. And we've gotten completely off of our original topic.
Ellars: Oh come on, what are you talking about "Millions of Years"? The volcano would have had to have erupted hundreds of times. What'd they do? Hit the "Volcano-Snooze" Button?
Guy: Look, I don't know. And we've gotten completely off of our original topic.
— One of Guy and Ellars usual discussions, Chronicle of the Annoying Quest
Sister Eda: Alright, the Good Shepherd. What's his weapon of choice?
Revy: Huh?
Eda: Psalm 23 verse 4, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." But what I wanna know is, what would you take with you, you know, if you were him.
Revy: Hmm, I'd say a Jericho, 941 FBL.
Eda: That's a pretty limp-dick gun for Jesus...
Revy: You're the nun. What's your fuckin' answer?
Eda: [holding up her Glock 17L by its holster] Isn't it obvious? This guy here.
Revy: You're full of shit. I mean he was Jewish, right? Of course he'd have an Israeli-made gun.
Eda: Goddamn heathen. You're out of your league when it comes to this shit.
Revy: Huh?
Eda: Psalm 23 verse 4, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." But what I wanna know is, what would you take with you, you know, if you were him.
Revy: Hmm, I'd say a Jericho, 941 FBL.
Eda: That's a pretty limp-dick gun for Jesus...
Revy: You're the nun. What's your fuckin' answer?
Eda: [holding up her Glock 17L by its holster] Isn't it obvious? This guy here.
Revy: You're full of shit. I mean he was Jewish, right? Of course he'd have an Israeli-made gun.
Eda: Goddamn heathen. You're out of your league when it comes to this shit.
Mista: Just hear me out! Taking time to really think about what you're eating is connected to whether or not you're living a happy life. That's why I think it's really important. So, there are animals that are carnivores, right? You know, like lions, cats, and vultures. You won't find meat from carnivores like that at a restaurant. Why?
Fugo: *scoffs*
Mista: Because it's too smelly to eat! It's disgusting! Listen up, guys! Cats are too disgusting to eat. Are we on the same page so far?
Narancia: Even if some culinary expert said it was the best thing ever, I never eat a cat at all!
Mista: On the other hand, have you heard of a fish called "sweetfish"? Sweetfish don't eat bugs, they only eat algae. They're vegetarian. Usually, fish guts are too bitter to eat, but sweetfish guts are delicious. That's because they're not carnivores.
Abbacchio: Hm...
Mista: So with that logic in mind, all the meat we consider delicious is from herbivorous animals! Cows, pigs, chickens! The better their feed, the better they taste! Which leads us to this conclusion... Humans would taste gross because they eat meat! Well? How do you like the opinion I came up with?
Abbacchio: I see. That's actually rather convincing.
Mista: That whole thing that comes up in novels about human flesh tasting good is a flat-out lie!
Narancia: I, uh... actually eat a lot more veggies and fruits than meat, though.
Mista: Gyahah! Then you might actually pretty tasty!
Fugo: Narancia, don't egg him on!
Fugo: *scoffs*
Mista: Because it's too smelly to eat! It's disgusting! Listen up, guys! Cats are too disgusting to eat. Are we on the same page so far?
Narancia: Even if some culinary expert said it was the best thing ever, I never eat a cat at all!
Mista: On the other hand, have you heard of a fish called "sweetfish"? Sweetfish don't eat bugs, they only eat algae. They're vegetarian. Usually, fish guts are too bitter to eat, but sweetfish guts are delicious. That's because they're not carnivores.
Abbacchio: Hm...
Mista: So with that logic in mind, all the meat we consider delicious is from herbivorous animals! Cows, pigs, chickens! The better their feed, the better they taste! Which leads us to this conclusion... Humans would taste gross because they eat meat! Well? How do you like the opinion I came up with?
Abbacchio: I see. That's actually rather convincing.
Mista: That whole thing that comes up in novels about human flesh tasting good is a flat-out lie!
Narancia: I, uh... actually eat a lot more veggies and fruits than meat, though.
Mista: Gyahah! Then you might actually pretty tasty!
Fugo: Narancia, don't egg him on!
— JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind, "Epilogue: Sleeping Slaves (Part 1)"
Black Widow: The only thing that really gets me uptight on these big, multi-regiment operations is killing so much time while we wait for the planes to be refueled and so on. I mean, you never see James Bond standing around reading a magazine while the Health and Safety people waltz in and double-check his hardware, right?
Hoot hoot! Little Link...Look up here! It appears that the time has finally come for you to start your adventure! You will encounter many hardships ahead...Like playing with your LEGOs one day and realizing it's not fun anymore. Coming to grips with the concept of time. Gradually losing the freedom which exists in knowing nothing. And learning that your friends are relative to where you are in life. Most friends only stay for a season, and usually because of your shared interests. But when you move on or your priorities change, so will your friends. That is your fate. Don't get discouraged, even during the toughest times...one day you'll find out that you owe the IRS $3,000. Then realize you misread the letter and owe them $30,000. And you'll learn that Chipotle isn't nearly as healthy as you thought. Sure, they list the calories, fat carbs and the 0G of sugar on the menu but they omit the amount of sodium drenched in everything. A single burrito with carnitas, cilantro-lime rice, sour cream, roasted chili corn salsa and cheese will fill you up with almost a day's worth of sodium. Enjoy your high blood pressure, stroke, heart failure, osteoporosis, stomach cancer, kidney disease, kidney stones and headaches. Maybe this isn't such a great alternative to McDonald's after all. Convenience isn't very healthy. You have to eat three times a day for the rest of your life. You should learn how to do it well. You'd be surprised to see how much better your life goes when you eat well. That is your fate. Don't feel discouraged, even during the toughest times...And learning that, despite all the government gorges out of you with taxes, they still waste billions of our hard earned dollars on programs like studying mountain lions on treadmills, injecting hamsters with steroids and making them fight, and studying beer koozies. Beer koozies. The thing that keeps your drink cold. The $1.3 million dollar study conducted by 2 bright University of Washington students was to determine if beer koozies work. It turns out they do work. Groundbreaking stuff. Then there's accidentally spending $28 million on green camouflage uniforms for the Afghan National Army. Afghanistan is 98 percent desert. They wasted $2 million attempting to increase trust between Tunisian political parties and citizens. $10,000,000 on "green growth" in Peru. $2,120,040,355.35 attempting to turn an abandoned mental hospital into a Department of Homeland Security HQ. And don't even get me started on the billion dollar Medicare schemes. Centers for Medicare and Medicaid paid $48,000,000,000.00 in improper payments in Fiscal Year 2018. Since Medicare is such a big program, it opens up all sorts of possibilities for abuse. It's all in Dr. Rand Paul's Summer 2019 Edition of "The Waste Report." Go straight this way and you will see Hyrule Castle. You will meet a princess there... If you are lost and don't know which way to go, look at the Map. The areas you have explored will be shown on the map. A map is a diagrammatic representation of an area of land or sea showing physical features, cities, roads, etc. The word "map" can also be used to talk about a chart or drawing that shows relationships between ideas, people, events, or anything else you can think about. Press START to enter the subscreens and Z or R to find the map. On the map subscreen, you will also see a flashing dot showing you which way to go next. Did you get all that? Did you know that the hashtag symbol is technically called an octothorpe? And that the 100 folds on a chef's hat refers to the 100 ways to fry an egg? Or that some cats are allergic to people? And that M&M stands for Mars and Murrie? And that you can hear a blue whale's heartbeat from 2 miles away? And that the odds of getting a royal flush are exactly 1 in 649,740? And that the lyrebird can mimic any sound it hears, including chainsaws? And the speed of a computer mouse is measured in "Mickeys?" And did you know that sushi actually originated in Southeast Asia, and spread to South China before being introduced to Japan sometime around the 8th century? [gets an Ocarina to the face]
— Kaepora Gaebora's speech, Something About, Something About The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Fran Fine: (filing C.C.'s nails) ...Mint Chocolate Chip, Jamocha Almond Fudge, Pralines 'n' Cream. That's it. That's 30. Oh my God, they lied. Why? - 30's a lot. Is 31 so catchy? Oh, wait a minute. I forgot the sherbets. All right, I'll start again. Vanilla, Chocolate...
C.C. Babcock: (screaming) STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!
Fran: You know, this reminds me of when Blair and Tootie got caught in Mrs. Garrett's walk-in freezer. Thank God, Natalie went in for a midnight snack, surprise, surprise.
C.C.: (slowly) These are the topics we can no longer discuss: what Woolite can and cannot do, anyone with the last name "Cassidy", odd-shaped moles on Eastern Europeans...
Fran: All right, OK, but you're really restricting the conversation.
— The Nanny, "Whine Cellar"
Bobby Baccalieri: (eating at a diner) Mom started going downhill after the World Trade Center. You know Quasimodo predicted all this..
Tony Soprano: (stops eating in confiusion) Who did what?
Bobby: All these problems - the Middle East, the end of the world.
Tony: Nostradamus. Quasimodo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Bobby: Oh right. Notre Damus.
Tony: Nostradamus, and Notre Dame. Two different things completely.
[beat]
Bobby: It's interesting though, they'd be so similar, isn't it?" And I always thought okay, Hunchback of Notre Dame. You also got your quarterback and halfback of Notre Dame.
Tony: One's a fucking cathedral.
Bobby: Obviously. I know, I'm just saying. It's interesting, the coincidence. What, you're gonna tell me you never pondered that? The back thing with Notre Dame?
Tony: No.
(Both get back to eating)
Tony Soprano: (stops eating in confiusion) Who did what?
Bobby: All these problems - the Middle East, the end of the world.
Tony: Nostradamus. Quasimodo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Bobby: Oh right. Notre Damus.
Tony: Nostradamus, and Notre Dame. Two different things completely.
[beat]
Bobby: It's interesting though, they'd be so similar, isn't it?" And I always thought okay, Hunchback of Notre Dame. You also got your quarterback and halfback of Notre Dame.
Tony: One's a fucking cathedral.
Bobby: Obviously. I know, I'm just saying. It's interesting, the coincidence. What, you're gonna tell me you never pondered that? The back thing with Notre Dame?
Tony: No.
(Both get back to eating)
Kimmy: [to Ozzie] Hey how are you holding up?
Ozzie: Huh? I-I'm fine. Much better a-actually...
Kimmy: [skeptical silence] …Well that's good. Can't have you dying on me, Cortozzo.
Ozzie: .....
Austin: Yeah, imagine if your last meal was back at the Gorilla Bar Lounge.
Kimmy: Oh man that reminds me: have you guys ever looked up what dudes on Death Row order for their last meals?
Austin: No, because I'm not a sociopath.
Ozzie: It's nuts! They let you order anything! Pasta as far as the eye can see!!
Austin: What is wrong with you two?
Kimmy: Oh please, you've never thought about what you'd order for your final meal on Earth?
Austin: I don't know... a Shamrock Shake.
[Kimmy and Ozzie give him judging looks]
Austin: W-what?!
Kimmy: Why do you have to be difficult?
Austin: That's being difficult?!
Kimmy: It's a seasonal exclusive! You can't just order it whenever you want!
Austin: So what if my execution is in March?!
Ozzie: You can't set your execution date— it's prison, not a wedding.
Austin: Oh sure, I'm the one being unreasonable in this fantasy scenario!
Ozzie: Huh? I-I'm fine. Much better a-actually...
Kimmy: [skeptical silence] …Well that's good. Can't have you dying on me, Cortozzo.
Ozzie: .....
Austin: Yeah, imagine if your last meal was back at the Gorilla Bar Lounge.
Kimmy: Oh man that reminds me: have you guys ever looked up what dudes on Death Row order for their last meals?
Austin: No, because I'm not a sociopath.
Ozzie: It's nuts! They let you order anything! Pasta as far as the eye can see!!
Austin: What is wrong with you two?
Kimmy: Oh please, you've never thought about what you'd order for your final meal on Earth?
Austin: I don't know... a Shamrock Shake.
[Kimmy and Ozzie give him judging looks]
Austin: W-what?!
Kimmy: Why do you have to be difficult?
Austin: That's being difficult?!
Kimmy: It's a seasonal exclusive! You can't just order it whenever you want!
Austin: So what if my execution is in March?!
Ozzie: You can't set your execution date— it's prison, not a wedding.
Austin: Oh sure, I'm the one being unreasonable in this fantasy scenario!
