Quotes: Science Is Bad

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Science... Has failed... Our world! Science... has failed our Mother Earth!
System of a Down, Science

    Stand-up comedy 

There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks... to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a shit what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you — your kid is not autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both.
Denis Leary, Why We Suck

    video games 

Science hurts!
Science Vessel, Attacking, Starcraft II

Will we next create false gods to rule over us? How proud we have become, and how blind.
Sister Miriam Godwinson, "We Must Dissent" Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri

    film - live-action 

Caught... in the wheels of progress.

He tampered in God's domain.
Bride of the Monster

Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

    western animation 

Dr. Weird, after unleashing a giant robot rabbit, Aqua Teen Hunger Force


Me go too far! ... Me am play gods!

    web video 

You're listening to Black Mesa radio: We play the hits while you play God.
—A Gag Dub of the Half-Life intro by Yahtzee

    web original 

10. Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)

If I can't pronounce it, it must cause cancer.
Rational Wiki on FoodBabe

The case for action rests on the realization that for the first time since the beginning of the Enlightenment era in the mid-17th century, the very idea of science as a way to establish a common book of knowledge about the world is being broadly called into question by heavily financed public relations campaigns.

The prime minister and his wife, Tony and Cherie Blair, were asked by journalists if their son Leo had been vaccinated. The Blairs refused to say, thereby giving up an opportunity to set the record straight for the general public about the safety and necessity of childhood vaccinations. Their silence was not golden... Then there was the fact that Cherie Blair wore crystals to keep evil rays from harming her. Her best friend's mother, Sylvia Caplin, was "a spiritual guru who was viciously anti-MMR ("for a tiny child, the MMR is a ridiculous thing to do. It has definitely caused autism," she told the Mail)". The Blairs were also associated with new age healer Jack Temple, "who offered crystal dowsing, homeopathy, neolithic-circle healing in his suburban back garden, and some special breastfeeding technique which he reckoned made vaccines unnecessary."

Pretty much every angry wingnut’s arguments against scientific consensus boil down to this. “Real knowledge” is inerrant and occurs once so that they can learn it as children and never have to think again. Anything else can be dismissed. Which makes their figuring out enough about the internet to vomit their refuse on to it absolutely fascinating to study in its dissonance.

It should be noted that a lot of Nina's personal beliefs are, quite frankly, horseshit. Her new age babblings about a cosmic goodness are overbearingly trite and she's also one of these nutbags who thinks AIDS is an innately benign condition and that it's actually AIDS medication that is killing everyone (Her and Dave Grohl.)
Will Forbis, "Interesting Motherfuckers: Nina Hagen"

Instead of having public and private research dollars aimed at solving long-term problems posed by something like Ebola, we have a pharmaceutical research complex that literally spends more on coming up with solutions to erectile dysfunction and male-pattern baldness than Ebola containment and eradication...Rather than our society heeding the wise counsel of scientific and technical experts, we now deride, distrust and defund them because they are perceived as threatening, know-it-all elites who offer opinions little better than that of the often misinformed common man.

You would think Oprah learned her lesson after Dr. Phil. That maybe she would be more particular about the kinds of medical professionals she hoisted onto a pedestal. And at first, Dr. Oz seemed to be fairly legit...But if history has taught us anything, it's that to be a part of Oprah's Board of Medicine Hearsay and Misinformation you have to believe much more in anti-science and faith-healing than actual science-based medicine. And Mehmet Oz was apparently born for a position on that prestigious council of bullshit.

It took many hundreds of years, which stretched into thousands of years, before it was fully accepted that medicine should be based on science. Indeed, arguably, it wasn’t until 103 years ago, with the advent of the Flexner Report, that medicine, in the U.S. at least, was placed on a firmly scientific basis, and what we now know as randomized controlled clinical trials did not see their debut, much less become the basis of determining which treatments worked and which did not, until the 1940s. Although physicians have been trying to base their craft on science for hundreds of years, it’s really only been in the last century or so that they’ve succeeded. Yet still some would like to go back to the way it was. They yearn for the days when doctors were “healers” and shamans, the way medicine was for hundreds and hundreds of years before science intruded.

Unfortunately, one of those physicians happens to be "America’s doctor"...I also question Oz’s romantic view of these “healers.” It sounds all too much like the “noble savage” myth, a case of Oz falling for romantic primitivism, which he seems to want to fuse with modern medicine.
Orac, "The Great and Powerful (Dr.) Oz"

In many ways, this is a new golden age of human sacrifice....The child who dies in agony because his parents believe dialysis is 'against God's will' is no less dead than a child burned at the altar of Molech. In fact, his death was infinitely more cruel and unnecessary (and often even more agonizing), since children were usually only sacrificed in pagan times during periods of grave social crisis, such as droughts or plagues. The ancients didn't know any better—people today have no excuse.

Climate change denialist John Ray of the blog Greeniewatch deserves special mention for his claim, apparently made with a straight face, that: “The Holy Grail for most scientists is not truth but research grants. And the global warming scare has produced a huge downpour of money for research. Any mystery why so many scientists claim some belief in global warming?” Yes, that’s how you make a career in science. Stick to uniformity; don’t disagree. The reward is that you can later cruise past the poor struggling denialists at your local denialist think tank in your new Mercedes.

    real life 

Ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Personally, I think bliss is overrated.
Collection of aesops

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

Science leads you to killing people.
Ben Stein

Letterman: Are you interested in medical journals and that sort of thing?
Bill Maher: Not Western medicine, I think we’re being poisoned.
Late Night with David Letterman, 2008 interview

It's scientifically impossible for the bumblebee to fly; but the bumblebee, being unaware of these scientific facts, flies anyways.
Mike Huckabee, 2008 U.S. Presidential nominee

Unbelievers in religion who think science can save the world are possessed by a fantasy that’s far more childish than any myth. The idea that humans will rise from the dead may be incredible, but no more so than the notion that 'humanity' can use science to remake the world...Myths can’t be verified or falsified in the way theories can be. But they can be more or less truthful to human experience, and I’ve no doubt that some of the ancient myths we inherit from religion are far more truthful than the stories the modern world tells about itself.
John Gray, philosopher