Quotes / Scary Librarian

Wong: I am now the guardian of these books. So if a volume from this collection should be stolen again, I'd know it... and you'd be dead before you ever left the compound.
Stephen Strange: ...What if it's just overdue? You know. Any late fees I should know about? Maiming, perhaps? [Beat] You know, people used to think that I was funny.
Wong: Did they work for you?
Stephen Strange: Alright, it's been lovely talking to you. Thank you for the books and the horrible story and the threat upon my life...

—Doctor Strange

"I said QUIET."

— The Librarian, Monsters University

No foe had presented a meaningful challenge to Housemind in months. In fact, only one visitor had ever been allowed to come and go unscathed. That had been the stern woman from the University of Hazar, the senior archivist who claimed that Malkuril had borrowed a book and failed to return it for four hundred and forty-one years. Housemind had been forced to admit it had something like possession of the volume, but that, for reasons barely relevant to any intelligent being's interest, a kobold had torn its pages out and was now wearing what remained of it. Housemind offered the woman the kobold in question, and then any ten kobolds of her choice, but in the end they had agreed on a combined late fee and replacement charge to be paid in bags of telepathic sapphires. Archmagi and demons were routine risks, but Housemind would not tempt the displeasure of a librarian. Like black holes, they were a cosmic force better circumvented than challenged.

—The Fall And Rise Of The House Of The Wizard Malkuril, by Scott Lynch

"Quiet!" scolded Dewey with a librarian frown.
"CRASH!!" went the books that Bendy knocked down.
Now Dewey INSISTS Bendy leave town
or be submerged in ink in which he could drown.

— Dewey's promotional art, Bendy in Nightmare Run

Ron: Every time she laughs, an angel dies. Even telemarketers avoid her. Her birth was payback for the sins of man. But you know the worst thing about her?

Leslie: She works for the library.

Ron: She works for the library.

— Ron & Leslie talking about Tammy Two, Parks and Recreation

Librarian: There will be no noises in the library, young man. So you better watch yourself. I have very good hearing.
Gramma: WHAT WAS THAT?! SPEAK UP! Dang hearin' aid's on the fritz...
Librarian: (hisses) You're new here, so this will be your only warning. One more sound, and you're banned for good.
Bill: Is whisperin' allowed?
Librarian: Not. One. MORE. SOUND.

— Big City Greens, "Quiet Please"

Calvin: This library book was due two days ago! What will they do? Are they going to interrogate me and beat me up?! Are they going to break my knees?? Will I have to sign some confession???
Mom: They'll fine you ten cents. Now go return it.
Calvin: The way some of those librarians look at you, I naturally assumed the consequences would be more dire.

—Calvin and Hobbes

Madam Pince: The library is now closed. Mind that you return anything you have borrowed to the correct- what have you been doing to that book, you depraved boy?

Harry: It isn't the library's, it's mine!

Madam Pince: Despoiled! Desecrated! Befouled!

Harry: It's only a book that's been written in!

She looked as though she might have a seizure.

—Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on Harry's Potions textbook (with annotations by former Hogwarts student Severus Snape).

I heard she shushed someone so hard they died.

— A random background extra talking about Claire, Questionable Content

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