Quotes: Poke the Poodle

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"But, as if on purpose, when it reached the limit, [Gavrila] always proved too honest for an extremely base deed. (On a small base deed, however, he was always ready to agree.)"

"Can't hassle us, pig! We're going the speed limit!"
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

"Oh, the look on their faces, when they got the wrong soup!"
Professor Chaos/Butters, South Park

Dr. Polaris: * Ahem*
"Luthor": ...What?
Dr. Polaris: You gonna wash your hands?
"Luthor": No! 'Cuz I'm evil.

"Revenge! Sub par snacks! Deal with my wrath!"
Cassiel celebrates her first successful ploy in Misfile

"I looked up a girl's skirt the other day. Isn't that the best kind of evil?"

"If you must know," a disconnected whisper confided, "we dressed in blackface and wrote filthy slogans on the side of the citadel. Horrible, horrible things about Princess Tanalasta and a centaur."
A strong political statement, Alias thought sarcastically.
Azure Bonds, Forgotten Realms novel by Kate Novak and Jeff Grubb.

Morris: "Boris! I’m doing something really wicked!"
Boris: "Oh?"
Morris: "I'm riding along with my eyes closed!"
Boris: "Morris, that’s not wicked, that’s rather stupid!"
Morris: "Oh..." [Rides into a tree]

"I hate comedians that are like, 'Fucking strap in, motherfuckers, 'cuz I'm about to get really dangerous!" and then the next thing they always say is, 'The fucking food on airplanes is BULLSHIT!!!' There is nothing safer than a comedian who tells you he's dangerous."

"Damn! She leaked The Queen’s phone number because she had like, 3 less housekeepers than her ex-husband? That’s crazy and insane and I LOVE IT, because that’s some down and dirty shade. You’ve got to remember – this was back in the early 90s when changing your phone number was a true pain in the ass. You had to pull the Yellow Pages from the closet, find the number for the phone company, call up the phone company, explain 400 times why you needed a new number, get put on hold for half an hour, nearly lose your damn mind from listening to the muzak version of 'Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover' over and over again before getting transferred to Pager Support and hung up on. The only thing more stone cold would have been if Diana had fucked with the satellite dish."
Michael K., "Princess Diana Leaked A Bunch Of Royal Phone Numbers After Her Divorce"

"Aha, I'm going to waste all their minutes! Mwa ha ha ha!"
The Nostalgia Critic mocking the villain of Rock-A-Doodle

"The Hirogen leader here reminds me of the hyper intelligent Gremlin from Gremlins 2 who takes the brain potion and dazzles with a rendition of New York, New York!...Compare and contrast to the Borg for TNG and the Jem H’adar for DS9 who remained pretty consistently and instantly memorable from the outset. Watching the Hirogen breaking open one of Neelix’s French sticks as though he has watched too many episodes of 'Allo 'Allo! is farcical. The Hirogen – don’t mess with them or they’ll snap your bread sticks in half!"
Doc Oho on Star Trek: Voyager, "The Killing Game Pt. 1"

"Making fun of his hair color? That ruthless son of a bitch!"

"I'm gonna find the wrong crowd and not read things together! Yeah, That's right! Entire novels left unopened!"