"Who needs a real doctor when you got my machines and their scary needles?"
— Doctor Zed, Borderlands 2
Calvin: OK, JACK, TIME FOR YOUR LOBOTOMY!! Hand me a big spoon, will you, Hobbes?
Hobbes: Ugh! No anesthetic even.
Hobbes: Ugh! No anesthetic even.
— Calvin and Hobbes, while carving a pumpkin
"Our general attitude around here is that we want to play par surgery on this course. Par is a live patient. We're not sweet swingers, and if we've gotta kick it in with our knees to get a par that's how we do it."
— Hawkeye, MASH
Hawkeye: I wouldn't operate on your horse under these conditions.
Col. Potter: My horse wouldn't be caught dead in here.
Col. Potter: My horse wouldn't be caught dead in here.
— M*A*S*H
Man: Mr. Jones? We've come for you liver.
Mr. Jones: But I'm using it right now.
Mr. Jones: But I'm using it right now.
Heavy: Should I be awake for this?
Medic: [laughs] Well, no. But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?
Medic: [laughs] Well, no. But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?
"Right, first I'll take those teef out for yer, dat should help ease da pain in yer leg. Grokkit, 'and me dat wrench. Now then... Open wide, an' say... AAARGH!"
— Ork Dok Gutslash, Warhammer 40,000
Tagon: Whaaa... she did that with knives? It looks like a bomb went off.
Chelle: Watch! She's going to reassemble all three of those guys, minus the fifty-seven bullets they had in them.
Chelle: Watch! She's going to reassemble all three of those guys, minus the fifty-seven bullets they had in them.
— Schlock Mercenary, on Neeka
"Want to see your severed arm? ...Heh heh, he passed out."
Yor: Did you get to see Loid perform his incredible concussive therapy?
Anya: His what?
Loid: Now, Yor, that's only for extreme circumstances...
Yor: The way he punches and kicks and leg sweeps his patients is absolutely incredible!
Anya: His what?
Loid: Now, Yor, that's only for extreme circumstances...
Yor: The way he punches and kicks and leg sweeps his patients is absolutely incredible!
— Spy X Family, a psychiatry variant of this trope
"Yep, I like to keep all the blood on me! That way you know I'm workin' hard!"