"'It's like rain on your wedding day.' Only if you're marrying a weatherman and he set the date."
— Ed Byrne
"Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash."
— Garland Greene, Con Air note
"That's where the actual meaning is the exact opposite of the literal meaning."
"IN... COR... RECT."
"Irony: The one form of humor that everyone thinks they understand, when actually no one really does. Truly, it is the cleverest joke ever played on mankind."
"'The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention'! Now that! Is! Irony!"
— Bender, Futurama
Grif: So now we're forced to work together. How ironic.
Simmons: No, that's not ironic. Ironic would be if we had to work together to hurt each other.
Donut: No, ironic would be instead of that guy kidnapping Lopez, Lopez kidnapped him.
Sarge: I think it would be ironic if our guns didn't shoot bullets, but instead squirted a healing salve that cured all wounds.
Caboose: I think it would be ironic if everyone was made of iron.
*two hours later*
Church: Okay. [slowly] We're all agreed that while the current situation is not totally ironic, the fact that we have to work together is odd in an unexpected way that defies our normal circumstances. Is everybody happy with that?
— The cast of Red vs. Blue debating over the meaning of "irony"
"You say, isn't it terrible about global warming? And I say, no, it's funny. We're going to bring on global warming because we ran too many leaky air conditioners? We used too much spray deodorant, so now we'll be doomed to sweat forever? That's not sad. That's irony. Note to Alanis: That is ironic."
— Marco, Animorphs #15: The Escape
"Say a diabetic man is worried about being killed by sugar all the time. Every aspect of his life is about controlling his blood sugar so he won't die. This man is killed by a truck. That is not ironic, it is tragic. Killed by a truck delivering sugary doughnuts? That is hysterical, but not ironic. Killed by a truck delivering insulin? That is fucking ironic."
"The upper echelons of irony should always include measures of sincerity. And if the satirical practice is executed faithfully it will achieve something bona fide in its own right regardless. Through an intense commitment bordering on religious devotion to the absolutely inane, absurd, or plain fucking stupid, a very different kind of sincerity begins to materialize. One of reverence to the ridiculous. You begin to 'mean it,' but what exactly it is you mean is never quite what appears on the surface, and is utterly inaccessible to obtuse and literal minds. That you 'mean it' then becomes inseparable from the joke, and additional rich strata of humor may be stripped aggressively from this irreconcilable truth."
— Dirk Strider, Homestuck
"Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes."
— Murdock, Airplane 2