"'Get out of bed, John! Get out of bed!' Yeah. Great concept. Every game should begin with two minutes of some guy's mom trying to get him out of bed."
"The first thing you have to do is walk to the top of a hill, look around, then go all the way back down and go back to bed. The second thing you do is... Exactly the same thing. Only now, fighting the shittiest monsters the union had to offer. That's not a slow boil, that's chucking a signal flare into a swimming pool."
"Lunk wakes up in the middle of the night and breathes a sigh of relief. For once, he has not rolled onto the clay pots. His uncle leaves until morning, presumably to buy more wood and brown paint."
"'Is our hero always oversleeping? The opening scenes of Zelda games often show Link sleeping. Is this a way of conveying the notion of a normal person waking up to the unknown and embarking on a Hero's Journey?"
"...ning. ...ood morning. Time to wake up. The sun is out. Come now, that's it."