"Much has already been made of the powerup mechanic: that Samus already has them all in her overnight bag but refuses to use them until her commanding officer—with whom she has surrogate daddy issues up the delicately sculptured arse—authorizes it. This leads to a rather notorious moment when Samus blunders through an extremely hostile atmosphere without protective clothing because daddy didn't specifically order her to wear some, putting her on the intellectual level of one of those robot vacuum cleaners. It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake: There's a mawkishly overdramatic scene in which a character sacrifices himself by bravely detaching and blowing up the entire Metroid wing of the spaceship with him inside. We'll let slide for now the issue of why exactly he had to be inside it to do this, but Metroids show up later on anyway, so he might as well have just stuck yellow and black tape over the door for all the good it did!"
"Metal Gear Solid was the K-T extinction asteroid of 3D gaming. Before it struck, warm-blooded gamers suffered under clumsy, lumbering games which were as three dimensional as the pyramids: they had depth but moved at the speed of continental drift and were visibly blocky from four miles away. Metal Gear kicked the entire industry in the ass, and to this day Psycho Mantis is the only individual who could convince many gamers to put the controller down for a second.
Unfortunately Hideo Kojima thought this was because he included a personalized War and Peace for every character... The fourth game elevated video game meta-conflict by trying to defeat the player with relentlessly extended cut-scenes instead of bullets."
"So Zell is injured and we see Selphie try to fix him up with— Oh God, a cure spell?! Nobody thought to do this when Ward was bleeding out his throat? Nobody thought to cast a Full-Life spell on Aeris?"
— Noah 'Spoony' Antwiler, The Spoony Experiment
Hey, is this Bob from the gameplay department? Yeah, this is Mike from the story department. Listen, I know the game's almost done, but I think we're actually gonna kill off the protagonist's girlfriend... uh... pretty early in the game, so you're gonna have to replace her after the warehouse scene. Uh, just some disposable female character will be fine, clothing is optional.
— Blimey Cow's "Five Problems with Modern Video Games"