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"I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does; chicks, money, power, and chicks."
— Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox, Scrubs
"Hey, Wilson! I'm gonna go cut some cripple's eye out! Wanna come watch?"
— Dr. Gregory House, House
"In the words of the philosopher Scepturn, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?"
— Dr. James "Mossy" Lawn, Night Watch
Patient's father: How can you treat someone without meeting them? House: It's easy if you don't give a crap about them. — House
"Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!"
— The Medic, Team Fortress 2
Q: What's the difference between God and a surgeon?
A: God doesn't think he's a surgeon.
— Traditional pre-op joke.
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