Quotes / Do Not Do This Cool Thing

Anime and Manga

We are legally required to tell you that stealing is wrong, and you shouldn't do it.
Ōkami-san (while Ryoshi is rifling through a boy's bag)


If I have painted vice in all its gayest colours, if I have deck'd it with flowers, it has been solely to make the worthier, the solemner sacrifice of it, to virtue.

Weaver: Itís the same, being a villain. I went there, I did that for a few months. Risked my life, hurt people, made an incredible amount of money, but I look back, and it wasnít worth it. I value the people I got to know and love far more than I do the money, the power, the fame. Theyíre the only thing I regret leaving behind.
Maggie: How much money?

"There is talk that many Vietnam films are antiwar, that the message is war is inhumane and look what happens when you train young American men to fight and kill, they turn their fighting and killing everywhere, they ignore their targets and desecrate the entire country, shooting fully automatic, forgetting they were trained to aim. But actually, Vietnam war films are all pro-war, no matter what the supposed message, what Kubrick or Coppola or Stone intended. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson in Omaha or San Francisco or Manhattan will watch the films and weep and decide once and for all that war is inhumane and terrible, and they will tell their friends at church and their family this, but Corporal Johnson at Camp Pendleton and Sergeant Johnson at Travis Air Force Base and Seaman Johnson at Coronado Naval Station and Spec 4 Johnson at Fort Bragg and Lance Corporal Swofford at Twentynine Palms Marine Corps Base watch the same films and are excited by them, because the magic brutality of the films celebrates the terrible and despicable beauty of their fighting skills."
Anthony Swofford, Jarhead

Newspaper Comics

Huey: Tell 'em that marijuana isn't nearly as dangerous as tobacco or alcohol, but it will make you say stupid things and laugh at stuff that ain't funny. That's a very good reason not to use it!
Caesar: Huey, you forget that most people don't find smiling and joviality as offensive as you do.


"So the message here is, doing drugs gets you chicks!"

Stand-Up Comedy

"It doesn't matter how big the warnings on the cigarettes are; you could have a black pack, with a skull and crossbones on the front, called TUMORS, and smokers would be around the block going, 'I can't wait to get my hands on these fucking things! I bet ya get a tumor as soon as you light up!'"
Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer


"I do solemnly swear I will not go home and try any of the stupid crap I saw those guys do, even though it would make me super cool."
— The oath that The Danger Committee makes the audience swear before every performance

Web Animation

"Can a video game use shooty gameplay to induce emotions other than visceral joy, or will the intended message inevitably be overlooked by an audience who are probably trying to have fun shooting things?"


"I hope that by reading this manual, you will be thoroughly encouraged to become a farmer."
Meti's Sword Manual, Kill Six Billion Demons

Web Original

"Stein goes down with a snarky one-liner about the Daleks being just in time for the fun before he suicides to destroy them all. [Lawrence] Miles and [Tat] Wood describe it as 'adolescent,' but thatís not the real problem. The problem is that itís macho action movie posturing of the most stereotypical kind. In other words, itís exactly the sort of thing the story is supposedly critiquing. And yet in this scene itís played as a big, cathartic moment."

"But, the moralists will howl, this makes crime look glamorous and rewarding! Well guess what? Crime is rewarding, and if you can do it on a big enough scale, you can even buy some glamour. So why are you shooting the messenger?"
Yves Smith, "The Misdirected Outrage Over The Wolf of Wall Street"

"I'm pretty sure it was also meant to be Smallville's entry into the entertainment cycle surrounding Alcohol Awareness Week. If so, I'm going to suggest that the point was not so much missed as completely misunderstood and trampled upon."
Julian Finn on Smallville, "Fortune"

"Wey-hey! An honest to God great Chakotay moment when he punches Dalby in the face! Unfortunately he was using this as an example of how the Marquis way is not the way to go, whereas I was thinking it would make a far more interesting show!"
Joe Ford on Star Trek: Voyager, "Learning Curves"

"For a drama (or book, or whatever) to invite an audience to feel superior to a less enlightened era even as it teases the regressive urges behind the behaviors associated with that era strikes me as the worst possible offense that can be committed in a creative work set in the past: it's simultaneously contemptuous and pandering."
Daniel Mendelsohn, "The Mad Men Account"

Web Video

"It wants to convey a message about how high-tech surveillance is creepy and evil, even though you end up using high-tech surveillance to fight crimes way better than the cops can fight crimes."
George Weidman on Watch_Dogs

Western Animation

"You're watching Futurama, the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery."
Bender, Futurama, "Bender Should Not Be Allowed On Television"