Quotes: Bad News in a Good Way
"Good news, everyone! The University is bringing me up on disciplinary charges. Wait, that's not good news at all."
— Farnsworth, Futurama
"This 'bright side' of yours is gloomy and smells funny."
— Sergeant Schlock, Schlock Mercenary
Doythaban: Look on the bright side. You can have everybody on board transmit their wills and next-of-kin notes out here to us.
Captain Tagon: I hope I live through this, if only so I get the chance to cheer you up sometime.
"I want people to know that they have two out of three branches of government working for them and that ain't bad."
— The President, Mars Attacks!
"Good news for people who love bad news"
— Bury Me With It, Modest Mouse
"Er. Hm. Oh! Good news, lady: you're single!"
— Oghren, Dragon Age: Origins
"Terrible news, everyone, Rotface is dead! But great news everyone, he left behind plenty of ooze for me to use! Whaa...? I'm a poet, and I didn't know it? Astounding!"
"More trips through the bowels of Cedars-Sinai. This time to a special radiation room. Howard's head was bolted in place against a piece of metal as the gamma rays were zapped at his skull theoretically knocking out remnants of the original cancer .. As always, I was struck by the euphoric good humor of the various oncologists, as cancer specialists are known. Since most of their patients will die more soon than late, they exude a depersonalized charm that is positively presidential in its effect."
— Gore Vidal, Point to Point Navigation
"Looking back, I notice that I started this paragraph with 'there's some good news.' I don't know why I did that."
April: My nearest neighbors are about four miles away. I need to get to a phone and call my boss.
Casey Jones: You mean Charles?
April: Yes—how did you know that?
Casey Jones: He left a message on your machine just before we got out...
Casey Jones: Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper. Um... You were fired.
April: I just saved myself?
Casey Jones: Mm-hm.
Donatello, Michaelangelo: Uh-oh.
Casey Jones: I was just trying to break it to you easy.
April: Well, you failed miserably!
"Heeey, guys.... Listen, they're telling me the, uhh, the generators can't take it. Ship's breaking up and all that. Just FYI."
— Fred Kwan, Galaxy Quest