"It's bloody weird having half the Tudor nobility riding around on MOTORIZED BICYCLES!"
— Queen Elizabeth I, Monty Python's Flying Circus
"This work of fiction is not an accurate historical portrayal... LIKE WE GIVE A F@%#! Now shut up and enjoy the show!"
Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
Doctor: What's eighteenth-century France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!
— Doctor Who, "The Girl in the Fireplace"
"Exactly where he got his text we do not know. Most Greek scholars that I've talked to seem unaware that Iphigenia ever was in Brooklyn."
— Peter Schickele, on P.D.Q Bach's Iphigenia in Brooklyn
"Admitting that genius which has familiarized itself with all the relics of an ancient period can sometimes, by the force of its sympathetic divination, restore the missing notes in the "music of humanity," and reconstruct the fragments into a whole which will really bring the remote past nearer to us, and interpret it to our duller apprehension,Ėthis form of imaginative power must always be among the very rarest, because it demands as much accurate and minute knowledge as creative vigour. Yet we find ladies constantly choosing to make their mental mediocrity more conspicuous, by clothing it in a masquerade of ancient names; by putting their feeble sentimentality into the mouths of Roman vestals or Egyptian princesses, and attributing their rhetorical arguments to Jewish high-priests and Greek philosophers."
"Know you not, Miss Bennet, that Mr. Darcy has been freestyle disco champion of all Derbyshire these last eleven years?"
— That Mitchell and Webb Look, "Posh Dancing"
Utahraptor: (narrating) HISTORY FOR YOU IS A BIG PARTY WHERE EVERYONE JUST HANGS OUT TOGETHER, ISN'T IT?
"A coal-powered bullet train. That's progress."
— Ling-Ling, Guilty Party
"Itís 2009, and we happen to be very proud of that. The Dark Knightís just come out on Blu-Ray, La Rouxís firmly in the charts, and dinosaurs remain a problem. So get used to it, you fucking div! Now, letís hop on our Penny Farthings and solve some crimes."
Pat: Hey, you wanna know what was an awesome weapon used in the sixteen-hundreds?
Pat: SICK, GIANT ASS RING-BLADES!
Pat: Yeah, in Western Civ we learned all about the ring-blade wars.
Meredith Viera: Crowds lined the Mall today as the Holy Roman Emperor Winston Churchill returned to the Buckingham Senate on his personal mammoth.
— Doctor Who, "The Wedding of River Song"
"And we fought dinosaurs! In the Ice Age! It didn't make a lot of sense, but it was fun!"
— Sid, Ice Age: Continental Drift
"I only have one question. How does it know it's called a duckbill if ducks don't exist yet?"
Verity Lambert: How gorgeous would that be: a 20th Century police box on the surface of an alien planet!