Quotes / Aliens Speaking English

Homer: How is it that you speak English?
Alien: I am actually speaking Rigellian. By astonishing coincidence, both of our languages are exactly the same.

To make things easier, everyone speaks English.
— A short story about humans meeting aliens. In Portuguese.

Graeme: How come I can understand you? Are you using some neural language router?
Paul: Actually, I'm speaking English you fucking idiot!

Farnsworth: Our only hope is to communicate with the aliens, and show them our peaceful intentions.
Bender: Perhaps they speak perfect English... as do we.
Farnsworth: We can't take that chance! We'll need my universal auto-translator!
Futurama, "Reincarnation"

The humans are having a dick-waving competition with various aliens that all speak perfect English, in various American dialects.
Yahtzee reviewing Mass Effect

Letter: Dear Stargate SG-1, why do all the aliens speak English?
Christopher Judge: Oh, Crap!, they found out about that.

Chel: Hmm... How do you speak English so well?
Lexx: I'm not speaking English. You're speaking Galactic Standard.
Alien Dice, in a rare Inversion

Nail: [speaking Namekian] Dende. What have you brought to Guru's house?
Dende: [speaking Namekian] Foreigners. They claim they are here to help. Personally, I think we are boned.
Krillin: You have such a beautiful language.
Nail: [speaking Namekian] Ah. It seems we must speak the Universal Language.
Nail: English.

Dawn Greenwood: I've been meaning to ask... If they're aliens, why are they speaking French?
Silver Surfer: It only sounds French to your translator, Dawn. It's actually Space-French.
— Silver Surfer (2014) #13

(in alien language) They speak a primitive dialect called English. You'll find it in the ship's matrix.
Alpha-5, to Zordon when he is reawakened in modern times, Power Rangers (2017)

"You speak English too. What's the chance of the same language developing both here and... wherever you come from, even if we have similar genes?"
"Infinitesimal," she admitted. "But I've been on your planet for ten years. I can speak 31 native languages."
JAM Jars by Robert Hood

Bill: TARDIS. If you're from another planet, why would you name your box in English? Those initials wouldn't work in any other language!
The Doctor: People don't generally bring that up.
Doctor Who, "The Pilot"

"It's the Doctor. Or the Tardis. Or both. Something... telepathic... link. Auto-translate. That's why everyone in space speaks English."
Bill, Doctor Who, "The Eaters of Light"

Hilbert: You can understand English?
Dear Listeners: We have good Spidey Senses. With enough time and examples we've been able to work out the nitty-gritty's. …Although there have been issues. We are still trying to figure out what you mean by "crazy wamajama."
Minkowski: [to Eiffel] Would it have killed you? Would it have killed you to speak English like a normal person?! It was LITERALLY your ONE job!