"To make things easier, everyone speaks English."
— A short story about humans meeting aliens. In Portuguese.
Graeme: How come I can understand you? Are you using some neural language router?
Paul: Actually, I'm speaking English, you fucking idiot!
Paul: Actually, I'm speaking English, you fucking idiot!
— Paul
Farnsworth: Our only hope is to communicate with the aliens, and show them our peaceful intentions.
Bender: Perhaps they speak perfect English... as do we.
Farnsworth: We can't take that chance! We'll need my universal auto-translator!
Bender: Perhaps they speak perfect English... as do we.
Farnsworth: We can't take that chance! We'll need my universal auto-translator!
— Futurama, "Reincarnation"
"The humans are having a dick-waving competition with various aliens that all speak perfect English, in various American dialects."
— Yahtzee in Zero Punctuation's review of Mass Effect
Letter: Dear Stargate SG-1, why do all the aliens speak English?
Christopher Judge: Oh, crap, they found out about that.
Christopher Judge: Oh, crap, they found out about that.
— Sci-Fi Channel Stargate SG-1 special
Chel: Hmm... How do you speak English so well?
Lexx: I'm not speaking English. You're speaking Galactic Standard.
Lexx: I'm not speaking English. You're speaking Galactic Standard.
— Alien Dice, in a rare inversion
Nail: [speaking Namekian] Dende. What have you brought to Guru's house?
Dende: [speaking Namekian] Foreigners. They claim they are here to help. Personally, I think we are boned.
Krillin: You have such a beautiful language.
Nail: [speaking Namekian] Ah. It seems we must speak the Universal Language. English.
Dende: [speaking Namekian] Foreigners. They claim they are here to help. Personally, I think we are boned.
Krillin: You have such a beautiful language.
Nail: [speaking Namekian] Ah. It seems we must speak the Universal Language. English.
Dawn Greenwood: I've been meaning to ask... If they're aliens, why are they speaking French?
Silver Surfer: It only sounds French to your translator, Dawn. It's actually Space-French.
Silver Surfer: It only sounds French to your translator, Dawn. It's actually Space-French.
— Silver Surfer (2014) #13
"They speak a primitive dialect called English. You'll find it in the ship's matrix."
— Alpha-5, speaking in an alien language to Zordon when he is reawakened in modern times, Power Rangers (2017)
"You speak English too. What's the chance of the same language developing both here and... wherever you come from, even if we have similar genes?"
"Infinitesimal," she admitted. "But I've been on your planet for ten years. I can speak 31 native languages."
"Infinitesimal," she admitted. "But I've been on your planet for ten years. I can speak 31 native languages."
— JAM Jars, by Robert Hood
Bill: TARDIS. If you're from another planet, why would you name your box in English? Those initials wouldn't work in any other language!
The Doctor: People don't generally bring that up.
The Doctor: People don't generally bring that up.
— Doctor Who, "The Pilot"
"It's the Doctor. Or the TARDIS. Or both. Something... telepathic... link. Auto-translate. That's why everyone in space speaks English."
— Bill, Doctor Who, "The Eaters of Light"
Hilbert: You can understand English?
Dear Listeners: We have good Spidey Senses. With enough time and examples we've been able to work out the nitty-gritty's. …Although there have been issues. We are still trying to figure out what you mean by "crazy wamajama."
Minkowski: [to Eiffel] Would it have killed you? Would it have killed you to speak English like a normal person?! It was LITERALLY your ONE job!
Dear Listeners: We have good Spidey Senses. With enough time and examples we've been able to work out the nitty-gritty's. …Although there have been issues. We are still trying to figure out what you mean by "crazy wamajama."
Minkowski: [to Eiffel] Would it have killed you? Would it have killed you to speak English like a normal person?! It was LITERALLY your ONE job!
— Wolf 359
Leonardo: Do you find it weird that everything always speaks English?
Winston Zeddemore: Nah. I just roll with it at this point. I don't need the extra headache.
Winston Zeddemore: Nah. I just roll with it at this point. I don't need the extra headache.
— Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Ghostbusters crossover comics
Man: You speak English?
Nyah: Of course!
Man: What about other languages?
Nyah: No; why should I?
Nyah: Of course!
Man: What about other languages?
Nyah: No; why should I?
L'Rell: Have you ever been tortured, Captain?
Lorca: Your English, it's excellent.
L'Rell: I'm descended from spies. Languages are useful, particularly when it comes to understanding those who seek to destroy the Klingon empire.
Lorca: Your English, it's excellent.
L'Rell: I'm descended from spies. Languages are useful, particularly when it comes to understanding those who seek to destroy the Klingon empire.
The Doctor: Commander, these are alien creatures. Their radio signals will be completely different systems, their communications circuitry unknown to Earth, and their language may be made of sounds that can't be heard by the human ear.
Cmdr. Fleggle: Hello Unrealistatrons. This is Commander Fleggle of the deep space probe X54-723 and a half.
Voice from Radio: Hello Earwigs, err Earthlings.
The Doctor: Oh.
Cmdr. Fleggle: Hello Unrealistatrons. This is Commander Fleggle of the deep space probe X54-723 and a half.
Voice from Radio: Hello Earwigs, err Earthlings.
The Doctor: Oh.
— Doctor Who and the Revenge of the Unrealistatrons
Karkat Vantas: ...DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO TRANSLATE THIS SCRIPT FROM ALTERNIAN INTO HUMAN ENGLISH?
Dave Strider: but... you speak english and type in english ...right?
Karkat: DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO CONVERT THIS SCRIPT FROM ALL CAPS INTO ONLY CAPITALS AT THE BEGINNINGS OF SENTENCES?!
Dave: ...dude.
Dave Strider: but... you speak english and type in english ...right?
Karkat: DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO CONVERT THIS SCRIPT FROM ALL CAPS INTO ONLY CAPITALS AT THE BEGINNINGS OF SENTENCES?!
Dave: ...dude.
— Paradox Space, "Summerteen romance"
Paperinik: Nice! Every alien I meet speaks my language!
Grilk commander: Every military school in the universe has a course on alien languages, and that of the Grilk Nebula is the best!
Grilk commander: Every military school in the universe has a course on alien languages, and that of the Grilk Nebula is the best!
— Paperinik New Adventures, "The Mastiff of the Universe"
Bullock: Attention, alien creature! Do you speak English?!
Qurchhhh: Yes!
Bullock: Really?! Wow! That's weird!
Qurchhhh: Yes!
Bullock: Really?! Wow! That's weird!
— American Dad!, "Blagsnarst: A Love Story"
"He's not only from medieval Japan, but also from an alternate universe. So naturally, he speaks English."
— Raphael regarding Usagi Yojimbo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)
Cole: Are you an alien?
Norg: Yes, sir.
Cole: Oh, you don't have to call me sir. I'm just a boy. I mean I'm a big boy. Wait, you speak English?
Norg: A little bit.
Norg: Yes, sir.
Cole: Oh, you don't have to call me sir. I'm just a boy. I mean I'm a big boy. Wait, you speak English?
Norg: A little bit.
— Central Park, Season 2 "Sir Bricks-A-Lot"
"I have no language of my own. Obviously I have to use human terms."
— The Hexaemeron, The Nano Flower by Peter F. Hamilton
What a trip! Where in the name of Krypton an I— This isn't Earth...even if for some reason their language is similar to ours!
