Quotes / A Wizard Did It

"Nanomachines, son!"
Senator Armstrong explaining why he has superpowers, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

"There are no continuity errors in the Discworld novels. There are, however, alternate pasts."
Sir Terry Pratchett, jokingly invoking the introduction of Time Travel in Thief of Time as the Wizard

Red Mage: So, you're the one responsible for all the weird, nonsensical stuff that happens in our world, right?
Sarda: Yup!
Thief: Why?
Sarda: I am as old as magic and have ultimate power over creation. Do I need a reason?

"You really shouldn't make these things in quantities this large. If you end up with more than about 16 million of any given item, you'll lose the excess, which means you'll lose Meat. This is because of... a... wizard. Yeah. A wizard. A wizard who doesn't like numbers larger than 16 million."
Kingdom of Loathing error message

Tycho: You told him a Wizard did it?
Gabe: I don't know! I panicked!
Tycho: Why didn't you just tell him the truth?

Frink: "Yes, over here, [...] in Episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa, yet in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a winged Arabian! Please do explain it!"
Lucy Lawless: "Uh, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like that... a wizard did it."
Frink: "Yes, alright, yes, in episode AG04-"
Lucy Lawless: "Wizard!"
The Simpsons, "Treehouse of Horror X"

"Remember that we're talking about The Force here. At this point, Malak himself could drop out of the sky and I wouldn't bat an eyelash."
Canderous Ordo, Knights of the Old Republic

"How did the menly men of Team Fortress appear at a tenth century battlement? Simple. The Soldier angered a magician."
The official Team Fortress 2 blog, "Australian Christmas"

Miss Pauling: First things first. How did Soldier become a public defender?
Spy: It's a Long Story, but chapter one: His roommate is a magician. Should I continue?
Miss Pauling: You know what? Nevermind.
Team Fortress 2's supplemental comics, "A Smissmas Story"

Red Mage: Oh, what twisted threads of fate must've conspired against your poor, inhuman, heathen soul! Tell us your tale of woe, oh fallen beast.
Monster: Some jackass wizard did it.

"Also, another great mystery: he caps up the juice and puts it away, but the cap stays on the floor. Is sorcery involved? The answer is yes. This page was visited by the wise old Fuckup Wizard."
Andrew Hussie in Homestuck Vol. 2, referring to this page.

Rich: Now [Janosz] gets turned into a ghost somehow.
Mike: Maybe Vigo gives him magical powers to turn into a...a witch.
Rich: He's transparent!
Mike: Magic powers. He said that Vigo was a powerful magician. That is a line in the film.
Rich: He clearly turns him into a ghost!
Jay: Yeah, you can be a magician, but how do you make someone into a ghost?
Mike: Magic?
Jay: Just "magic".
Mike: (defeated) Ancient...Carpathian magic. I dunno.

"There are two kinds of magic in the world: Magic as a force that can grant the wondrous... and then there's narrative magic. The kind where we get the classic phrase: 'It's magic we don't have to explain it'".

"The reigning mother-queen of all video game plot devices and rushed endings. Ultimecia's evil scheme isn't anything so basic as blowing up, enslaving, or blinking the world out of existence. She wants to compress past, present, and future into a single being and create a universe in which only she can exist... while retaining access to the present-day world map, certain dungeons, Ragnarok, and all the important Triple Triad players from Balamb Garden. Don't ask how it's supposed to make sense. It doesn't. Time Compression was also a great excuse for the producers to slash the production budget for the ending sequence. Why is half of the ending movie made up of distorted and looping FMV clips from earlier in the game? TIME COMPRESSION. If you want a few laughs, check out some of the bigger Final Fantasy fansites out there and watch them try to analyze and explain Time Compression."

"This is the beginning of the automatic scrolling area, for no reason. I guess the local wizard was like 'yeah, I haven't done anything unexplainable by now, yep, let's tie up the loose ends...'"

"The audience just hasn't seen the adventure when the Doctor goes back in time and changes that detail."
Steven Moffat explaining Doctor Who continuity errors, San Diego, 2008

cumber-bitches: how come nobody got pregnant at hogwarts? i mean come on, surely there was some unprotected hanky panky going on there.
cazastrophic: Wizardry.
cumber-bitches: ahh, makes sense.
odetoabird: fetus deletus

Steven: There are towels in there. Do we even have plumbing up here? How do you get the washer and dryer to work?
Garnet: Magic. (waves hand)
Steven Universe, S2EP11 "Keeping It Together"

Ian the Crow: Birds stay in the air through magic. And, like, there's all these scientists and naturalists who think they've got it sussed, but it's all magic.
Ian's Friend: You think it's sort of Peter Pan, do you, Ian; they have a happy thought? Is that what you're saying?
Ian: Yeah! Birds are happy, and that's why they can fly.
A talking Crow attempts to apply this trope to his own ability to fly, Creature Comforts, "Being a Bird"