Rincewind: Exactly how long have you been a barbarian hero?
Nijel the Destroyer: Er. What year is this?
Rincewind: Out on the road, then? Lost track of time? I know how it is. This is the year of the Hyena.Ludicrous Precision.
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- The Little Rascals movie:
Butch: When's the last time we beat you up?Alfalfa: Well, let's see... today's the 10th... 30 days hath September, April, June and November... it's not a leap year... yesterday.
- Scrooged: "Listen, I know I haven't talked to you in... *checks watch* ...about 10 or 15 years, but..."
- In Woody Allen's Love and Death:
Countess Alexandrovna: How long has it been since you've made love to a woman?Boris: What's today? Monday, Tuesday... two years.
- From Zookeeper
Griffin: How long have you been able to talk??Monkey: Let's see, today's Tuesday, so, ummm... always.
Live Action TV
- Two and a Half Men
Alan: How about this: When was the last time you called her just to see how she was doing?Charlie: Uh, whoo. What's today, Sunday? Then never.
- Friends, "The One With The Thumb":
Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... never.
- Variation on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart regarding congressmen having to follow the same laws as other citizens:
I believe that was in the 'No Shit, Sherlock' Act of two thousand and always.
- Red vs. Blue:
Washington: How long have you been here?Church: How long? Um... What day is today?Washington: Today is Tuesday.Church: I've been here 14 months.
- Adventures in Odyssey "Aloha Oy!"
Donna: How many years have you lived in Hawaii Mr. Iowa?Don Iowa: Oh the islands we don't measure time in years but in full moons.Donna: Okay, how many full moons have you lived here?Don Iowa: Hm, about three years worth.
- Llamas with Hats
Paul: ...Where are all the other lifeboats, Carl?Carl: Well, judging by the trajectory of the moon and the stars, I'd say... somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. I bit lots of holes in them.
- While not technically time-based, this conversation rings of it:
- Frisky Dingo, Second season:
Interviewer: Well, it's been a year now-Xander: A Year?! It's really been a whole year? What's today?Interviewer: Thursday.Xander: Oh my God, it has been a year.