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Date My Avatar
Do you wanna date my avatar? She's a star, and she's hotter than reality by far...

You know, actually it's kind of funny. Because every time I would mention some obscure singer or band, you knew so much about them. But not right away. It was, like, a few minutes later. Maybe to give you enough time to look them up on the web? Jeff... you used the same phrases about Goldfrapp as they do on Amazon.Com. Busted. By the way, I fucking hate... Goldfrapp.

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog. Actually, nobody knows you at all. So it's easy to create an Internet identity that reflects what you want to be — someone much smarter and sexier then you are in real life. Just lie a bit about yourself and use a photo that is photoshopped, misleadingly cropped, or not of you at all.

This sort of thing is a minefield when it comes to online romance. Do you want to risk the possibility that the one who falls in love with you is Loving a Shadow rather than the real person that you are? What about the odds that you are running afoul of that yourself?

Sometimes turns into An Aesop, either about trust and the virtue of playing it safe or about seeing past the superficial stuff. Be Yourself.


Examples

Anime and Manga
  • In .hack//SIGN, Tsukasa and Subaru start a relationship while Tsukasa's consciousness is stuck in the virtual reality game called "The World". As it turns out, Tsukasa ends up being a girl in the real world, instead of the boy her avatar was. Luckily, Subaru doesn't mind and after the anime, when Tsukasa is freed from the game, they get together in the real world.
  • Btooom!: Ryota's and Himiko's Btooom! avatars are married and it turns out they really are who they thought they were!

Film
  • The whole point of the documentary Catfish, about a New Yorker who strikes up a romance over Facebook with a girl from Michigan only to find that she, and all of her friends, and all of their friends are Sock Puppets for an eccentric middle-aged mother.
  • In Avatar, Neytiri would never have started dating Jake if he had been in his real body. Eventually resolved by him Becoming the Mask.
  • In Hard Candy, this goes both ways. We have this charming guy and this sweet young girl, and they have so much in common. But they are both faking it. They are really predators, trying to lure each other into a trap.
  • In Chatroom, the female lead starts falling for the male lead, based only on how he has presented himself online. The reality is for darker then she is willing to see.
  • Earth Star Voyager plays this trope straight, but in reverse chronological order from usual. Priscilla is the ship's computer, a large box of plastics and metals. Thus, Huxley is simply annoyed when she falls in love with him. However, when she shows him the picture of the Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter that her personality was based on (possibly recorded from), he's amazed that a woman who looks like that would go for him. (Which doesn't change the fact that this Priscilla is, and always has been, plastics and metal.)
  • The impetus of the plot of Sex Drive, where the main character has been lying about being some handsome buff guy and owning a classic 1969 Pontiac GTO Judge... which actually belongs to his brother. Subverted in that she was lying about many of her details and assumed he was too. Double Subverted because it was all a plot to steal his car.

Literature
  • In Slave Jade, the protagonist is a sexually submissive woman who start spending online time with a sexually dominant man. She likes the things he writes to her about BDSM; she finds it insightful and sexy. However, the guy is a totally clueless social misfit who only manage to comes across as insightful and sexy by copy-pasting insightful and sexy things that other people have written and pretending that he wrote it himself. When he kidnaps her, the author portrays him as a total creep, averting the Romanticized Abuse trope Bastard Boyfriend. She ends up shooting him, and after barely surviving the wound and blood loss from the bullet he ends up in jail. The book ends with her having recovered and decides to start looking for a new master - determined to find a good one this time, and concluding that giving up BDSM because of the bad experience with the creep would give him far more power over her life than he's worth.
  • Will #2 aka "gay Will" of Will Grayson, Will Grayson gets his storyline kicked off by going to meet Isaac, an AIM buddy that he's fallen in love with. Isaac turns out to be a front for a female friend. To say that Will is heartbroken and angry by this would be an understatement.
  • In Beastly, Kyle tries to get around the whole looking like a monster thing by looking to date a girl online. Kendra tells him that it would never work out the way he wants it to, because while relationships can start online, he'd have to meet the girl in real life eventually, if he wants to break the curse. She then points out how Kyle posted several lies (or at least stretched truths) about himself online, to try to be more appealing to potential girlfriends. After that conversation, Kyle uses his magic mirror to see what the online twenty-something-year-old girls look like in real life. They turn out to be an old man, a middle-aged police officer, and a twelve-year-old girl, to name just a few. The young girl gets pissy when Kyle calls her out on her charade.

Live-Action TV
  • In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Willow once dated her nice charming chat-buddy Malcolm... who was actually a incorporeal murderous demon possessing the computer system.
  • A variation in How I Met Your Mother; Ted meets a girl through World of Warcraft. She turns out to be completely crazy.

Music
  • Played with in Basshunter's 'Boten Anna' where the singer gets a crush on what he thinks is a IRC bot, only to be heartbroken to find out that it's actually a real life girl admin.
  • The Guild's song "Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?" is the Trope Namer. See page quote.
  • Bad Religion's song "I love my computer" rolls with this. "...'cause you are just a number and a clever screen name."
  • "Online" by Brad Paisley is about a lonely guy who never even managed to get to "second base" and who want women to see him for who he is... online!
    Online I live in Malibu
    I posed for Calvin Klein
    I've been in GQ
    I'm single and I'm rich
    And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind

Webcomics
  • This xkcd strip demonstrates how the internet makes you appear smarter.
    • This one has a more romantic theme.
  • Dave of Narbonic once had an online girlfriend who turned out to be an artificial intelligence.
  • The Dilbert character Wally takes this one step further. When approached by an attractive real life female, he refuses - explaining that real people can never be as good as technology. He then proceeds to take her photo, so that he may photoshop it and date it online instead of dating the real her.
  • Keiki has a Valentine's comic in which Ivan courts a "Cassandra Catfish" over the Internet. He eventually discovers that Cassandra has claimed several other men as her boyfriends. The news then expose her as not a high school cheerleader who resembles Emmy Rossum, but Taylor Swift with a fake name and profile picture. Ivan ultimately becomes disgusted that he briefly became a boyfriend to a singer he doesn't like.

Web Original
  • Inverted in one 5 Second Films: A girl agrees to date a guy in World of Warcraft. When he shows up, he is the actual avatar (as in, he shows up as a Conspicuous CGI purple-skinned night elf).
  • A Cracked column imagines the world without the internet, including the appearance of women who crawl on the ground and those who hold portraits of celebrities over their faces all the time (Trick-photography and avatar substitutes respectively).

Real Life
  • These days, online relationships are getting to be more and more common. Sadly, some people invoke this trope and decide to act and look nothing like their offline personas. On the other hand, the relationship sometimes works out anyways.
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