Funny / Vampire: The Requiem

  • In the novel The Marriage Of Virtue And Viciousness, an elder speaks of what he's learned from talk radio:
    "I’ve learned that even our malignance and evil has been surpassed by some mortal sect calling themselves ‘Democrats.’"
  • The first edition provides rules and explanations for what reaction Kindred would have to various environments, including what would happen if they ended up in the deepest depth of the ocean, or in complete vacuum (AKA in space). Followed by a comment asking the reader what kind of chronicle they are running to get to this.
  • Then there's the section in Wicked Dead on how a Dampyr is created:
    Well, son, when a mommy and a daddy who are deeply in love decide they want a little baby, mommy murders a homeless man and drinks up all his yummy blood until her belly is big and full of it, and then daddy lays on top of her, and puts his wing-wang in her hoo-haa and moves up and down, and then his seed and her egg meet, and mommy uses some of the blood to make the little baby growing in her big and healthy, but because she's eating for two now, mommy gets very very hungry, and has to murder lots and lots of homeless men so in nine months a perfect little bouncing baby is born, with daddy's nose, and mommy's sickening occult affliction.