Seth telling the guys how he was tittyfucked as a kid.
When James thinks the desperate stranger might try to tittyfuck the guys, Seth grabs his man-tits in fear.
When Jonah Hill gets possessed, he tries to tittyfuck Seth.
Jason Segel discussing his role on How I Met Your Mother with Kevin Hart; this is actually taken near verbatim from an interview Segel did years ago about the show, which did ruffle some feathers.
Emma and Craig saying Jay is a hipster and criticizing him for not liking Forrest Gump.
The Milky Way argument. There's only one Milky Way and 5 of them, and start arguing about dividing such a tiny candy bar amongst themselves.
Michael Cera throughout the whole party, not acting as the awkward dweeb he is usually typecast as, but as a cokehead pervert with a big ego.
And nobody likes.
The entire Emma Watson scene.
Emma: I'M NOT FUCKIN' AROUND!
The entire conversation that lead up to Emma's freakout.
Take Yo Panties Off.
Michael Cera's death. It was caused because he was looking for his phone, and questioning everyone in the crowd who took it, but didn't notice the giant pole falling behind him. He gets impaled, and while bleeding to death, he finds his phone...in his pocket.
Michael: Oh shit, this is embarrassing...
When they are trying to figure out why they were not Raptured and Franco admits "I fucked Lindsay Lohan" while she was drunk.
Hilarious in Hindsight: Someone posted online a photo of Lohan's list of sexual conquests that she wrote down as part of a rehab exercise; Franco's name was on it. No word if the Gyllenhall conversation took place.
The way Jay screeches "Why not?!" when James says they can't let the stranger in the house.
James Franco is about to get sent to Heaven for giving Jay and Seth time to flee, but he stops to curse and flip off Danny McBride and his cannibals, which makes God cut off Franco's rapturing.
Jonah's face when Danny calls him a cunt.
"THE EXORCISM OF JONAH HILL" (title card set to Toccata and Fugue in D Minor)
"That's your plan, repeating lines from The Exorcist?"
Followed by him realizing it actually works.
Jonah: No seriously, fuck off!
And possessed Jonah goading Jay and Seth on when they start fighting in a childish tattletale tone.
Jonah: You did fucking sell out, Seth! Everyone says! Grow up, Jay! That's why he's yelling at you!
And subsequently, when Franco and Craig try to get them to focus on the problem at hand:
Franco: Do we have to do this right now? We've got a fucking possessed guy here!
Jonah: No, I'm fine.
Danny's gimp, who turns out to be Channing Tatum.
Danny: I call him "Channing Taint-Yum!"
Don't forget Channing's darkly hilarious final line.
Channing: I... love him.
The loud, long, ridiculous argument James and Danny have over Danny jizzing all over their only Penthouse magazine, with Danny eventually declaring he is going to jizz on everything.
Danny: Who has goddamn porno mags anymore?! Welcome to the 21st century, Buck Rogers! You've designed a house with fucking iPads in the walls, and you're jerking your dick like a goddamn pilgrim!
Franco: That's right, man, I like to fucking read!
Jay's ultimate wish in Heaven is to dance with the Backstreet Boys.
The way Possessed!Jonah says "The Apocalypse is NIIIIIIIIIGH!"
Jonah repeatedly Tempting Fate by putting the gun to his head and in his mouth.
Danny standing right behind James as he trash-talks him on the video confessionals. When he leaves, James looks at the camera and goes "Yo, fuck that dude!"
Craig admits he drank his own pee and enjoyed it. He then gets out a martini glass with piss in it. Cut to Seth half-naked, unzipping his pants, opening his mouth and pissing in it from below-camera seconds later.
Said piss-filled martini glass is pictured on the movie's Blu-Ray disc.
The scene where no one can sleep the first night of the rapture; jump scares played for laughs. There's also another funny jump when Jay and Seth are in the bowels of Franco's home and are startled by James Franco's angry face from out of nowhere; It's just a promotional stand for Spider-Man 3 with Franco in his New Goblin gear.
The guys find the water and they celebrate by pouring water at their martini glasses while Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg's The Next Episode plays in the background.
When it's discovered that James had an entire cabinet filled with emergency food supplies that are non-perishable, Craig cries that he would've given James a blowjob for only half a cracker. James obviously isn't too pleased with the prostitution offer.
"It was a cum for help."
When the Backstreet Boys show up, they all have halos. Craig, Seth, and Jay have them as well, while no one else in Heaven does. It may be that making a Heroic Sacrifice qualifies one to be an angel. Craig confirms that he's an angel before the halos appear over Seth and Jay's heads. However, once the Backstreet Boys start singing, their halos disappear. One of the rules of Heaven may be that an angel who takes the Lord's name in vain gets demoted. After all, the first line of their song is "oh my God.''
"