Funny / The Scorpion King

  • Memnon's Guards can be heard heading towards Mathayus and his young guide.
    Mathayus: Get ready! I'll kill half, you kill half! (the kid stares at him like he's crazy)
    Mathayus: All right. I'll kill them all!
    Street Urchin: (tugs on Mathayus' arm) Why don't we go around them and not kill anybody?!
  • "It is not the size of the hump, but the motion of the camel!"
    • Say what now?
  • Just after Mathayus rescues Jesup from certain death.
    Mathayus: You're lucky we have the same mother.
  • When Mathayus' loyal stead decides he's too heavy to hold up anymore and sits down, just when Mathayus needs him to stand up as he's sliding down a rope!
  • When Mathayus and Balthazar have there big Fight Scene, also a moment of awesome.
    • As Mathayus tries to hold Balthazar back, he starts throwing things at him. In the end, he almost throws a chicken.
  • Gotta love this scene.
    Balthazar: You stay alive akkaidian.
    Mathayus: No need to worry, miss.
    Balthazar: (muttering as Mathayus leaves) "Oh, he's gonna pay for that..."
  • Philos is a veritable cornucopia of deadpan humor.
    Philos: Oh my. Are you going to kill me?
    Mathayus: (dismissively) Maybe later.
    • And not too long after.
    Philos: (flatly) You again?
    Mathayus: How do I get out of here?
    Philos: (pointing to door Mathayus entered through) Through that door.
  • After Matthayus falls through the ceiling interrupting her relaxing bath the sorceress snatches up a dagger. Guards burst in and Matthayus ends up in the pool next to her. She slashes his bicep. His 'ow' and hurt look are hilarious, so is the sorceress' expression she is so very pleased with herself.
  • Matthayus is about to be attacked by a horde of fire ants, normally not a problem except he's buried up to his chin in the sand. This doesn't slow him down much, as he fends off the ants by biting them first and crushing a few with said chin before his new sidekick comes up with a better plan.