Funny / The Rolling Stones (Band)

• Keith Richards is the band's resident Deadpan Snarker. There's even a book of his witticisms, titled What Would Keith Richards Do?
  • The police pulled a massive drug raid on the Stones. There was a salacious rumor that they caught one band member in the basement performing sexual acts with Marianne Faithfull involving a Mars Bar. Keith's response to the rumor? "Well first off, we were out of Mars Bars..."
  • When asked about his substance problems, he famously said "I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police."
• Charlie Watts is fun to watch in music videos. First, there's "It's Only Rock and Roll". The band performs in a plastic tent that gradually fills with bubbles. Guess which band member is totally submerged while the others are performing? At one point, all we see of Charlie are his arms waving drumsticks, while his bandmates turn around and burst out laughing. At the very end, Charlie emerges completely covered in bubbles.
  • In "Start Me Up," Charlie looks like he's trying not to chuckle while Mick, Keith, and Ron ham it up. Then he trades sly glances with Bill Wyman at the 2:27 mark.
• "19th Nervous Breakdown" is a deliciously-sarcastic "The Reason You Suck" Speech aimed at a Rich Bitch.
  When you were a child you were treated kind, but never brought up right
  You were always spoiled with a thousand toys, and still you cried all night
  Your mother who neglected you owes a million dollars tax
  And your father's still perfecting ways of making sealing wax
• The Stones' appearance on The Mike Douglas Show in 1964 has some gems:
  • At one point, the Stones are asked which one of them is more popular with the ladies. Brian Jones coyly walks up to the announcer and states "Mick's more popular with men." Keep in mind, homosexuality was illegal in Britain at the time, so this was pushing it for the time. Nowadays, it could be considered Hilarious in Hindsight, considering the rumors surrounding Mick Jagger and David Bowie.
  • "And what are the barbers doing over there?" "Starving."
• Mick at an early show, responding to someone telling him to cut his hair:
  What, and look like you?
• "Dear Doctor", especially the part where Mick Jagger reads a Dear John letter in a high pitched voice.
  • Everything about "Something Happened To Me Yesterday", from the whacked out singing, to the brass sections to Mick's farewell speech.
• In the infamous story of how Charlie punched Mick after he called him "My drummer", Mick was hit so hard he almost fell out of a window before being saved by Keith... because he was wearing his prized jacket.

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