Funny / The New Legends Of Monkey

Season One

• Monkey gives the Font Demon a Badass Boast, saying that he can dispatch him with a mere flick of his finger. He flicks him...and nothing happens. Monkey tries again. Still nothing. Cut to the Font Demon tossing Monkey aside.
• What does Monkey give Tripitaka as thanks for releasing him? Some of his armpit hair. And it's apparently a common enough gift, since he says its for her monastery.
• Monkey's big "WHAT?!" when Tripitaka tells him he's been imprisoned for five hundred years.
• Monkey attempts to use a fork to remove the crown stuck on his head, only to send it flying across the room. It hits another patron in the tavern, and Monkey quietly whistles and looks away, pretending to have nothing to do with it.
• "YES! My powers have-" *gets tackled off-screen*
• Monkey asks for Sandy's name.
  Sandy: Well, it's been a while since anyone's called me anything but "eww" or "get away from me".
• When she and Monkey are imprisoned, Sandy notices a crack in the wall and senses a waterfall on the other side. She thinks she can direct the water flow through the crack, using the water pressure to break the walls and escape. She does...and a small splash of water squirts through, directly into Monkey's face.
  Monkey: You said waterfall...
  Sandy: Oh yeah, it smells more like a sewage pipe, doesn't it?
• Faced with three demons and five guards, Monkey asks when Pigsy will be joining them. Cue Pigsy being thrown off a four-story balcony and landing next to them. And apparently it’s not even the first time this has happened to him.
  Pigsy: [limping to the others] Can someone tell me what the plan is? I think I have a mild concussion.
• When the group are travelling in the desert, Tripitaka suggests they drink water from a cactus. A cactus called the Rotting Corpse Cactus, named after its horrific smell. Its taste leaves much to be desired, too.
  Tripitaka: It's better than dying of thirst.
  Pigsy: ...Is it? Is it really?
  • Then, when they offer Sandy a drink, she says that she'll wait until they get to the lake...the one that's behind the next hill.
  Pigsy: Why didn't you say anything?
  Sandy: ...Just did.
• The Monkey Clan attack the group and take their stuff, including their shoes. When Monkey introduces himself and they start chanting his name...
  Pigsy: ...Can I have my boots back, please?
• Affe dies by tripping and falling on a spike. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
  Pigsy: Well, I guess he got the point. ...It's too soon, isn't it?
• In episode seven, after the group meet up with Gwen, Pigsy grabs a weapon thinking its from her stash. It's not a weapons stash; turns out they're actually standing in a graveyard filled with human remains. While Gwen explains what happened, Pigsy can be seen behind her slowly removing the sword from his belt and putting it back.
• When they're under attack from the Forrest Kin, Pigsy demands that their enemies show themselves.
  Monkey: Has that ever worked?
  the kin appear
  Pigsy: I'd say that was very effective, wouldn't you?
• In order to sneak into the Jade Palace, Monkey and Pigsy have to disguise themselves as actors. Monkey is playing a guard. Pigsy? The Monkey King. Monkey immediately tries to snatch the costume off of Pigsy, who tells him that he can't play himself because he hasn't been to any of the rehearsals.
• Monkey tells Pigsy that Tripitaka is actually a girl, and Pigsy asks why.
  Monkey: ...Pigsy, she was born that way.
  Pigsy: No, not 'why is she a girl?', I meant 'why was she pretending to be a boy'?

Season Two

• Pigsy yells for Sandy to look out, because there’s an arrow flying towards her. Sandy turns into mist, the arrow flies right through her, and almost hits Pigsy.
  Pigsy: What did you do that for?!
  Sandy: You said 'look out'!
  Pigsy: Well, look out for me too, will you?
• Monkey wants to go ahead alone on his cloud. Sandy suggests they stay together.
  Monkey: My cloud can't carry Pigsy. Let alone the three of us and Pigsy.
  Pigsy: I'm right here.
  • He then bops Pigsy on the nose.
• Pigsy gets a lot of zingers:
  • "We just let the one guy who can't read fly off to search for sacred scriptures in an inescapable labyrinth of scrolls."
  • "I've read about quests. They don't traditionally get easier."
• Pigsy cooks a meal for Sandy and Tripitaka… which Monkey lands on top of after getting his ass kicked and falling from the sky.
  Pigsy: It took me two and a half hours to cook that!
  Monkey: It smells delicious. I can't wait to try some.
• Monkey tries to explain why he doesn't have the scroll that he left to find, and says that he changed his mind. They should all go together to look for it. Pigsy isn't buying it. "You lost a fight, didn't you?"
• Pigsy pointing out that Monkey's "upstairs" is only good for growing hair. Monkey isn't offended, because Pigsy calls it "beautiful hair".
• Monkey insists he's the best meditator. Cut to only a short time later, and he's asking Tripitaka impatiently if it's been seven hours yet.
  • Monkey thinks he's learned his name in the ancient language, but the word he points to is the word 'and'. He kept seeing it repeated in Tripitaka's notes that he immediately assumed it was his name.
  • Monkey pulls his hands out of the ground before they're finished growing back… revealing them to be tiny. He screams and shoves them back in again, before insisting to Tripitaka that they never talk about this again.
• Pigsy realising that his life is now in the hands of Sandy. Who starts repeatedly shaking the plant that's supposed to save his life one day.
  Pigsy: Good. I was bored of living, anyway.
• Monkey refers to the others as his "Merry Misfits". Sandy doesn't think it fits her; she's not merry.
• Tripitaka reads what historians say about the Monkey King: "Consensus among historians is rare, but all agree that the Monkey King is a piece of sh…" *gets cut off by Pigsy and Sandy*
• Monkey referring to Pigsy and Sandy as his "sidekicks".
• Pigsy and Sandy (and then Monkey) have their fingers stuck to their lips by the librarian. When she releases them, Pigsy's immediate response is, "Thank the Gods! I thought I'd never eat again."
• Monkey forces Pigsy to dig a large trench around a village. Pigsy gets his own-back by throwing a large lump of dirt into Monkey’s face.
  Pigsy: Oops! You've got quite a lot of dirt around your face where I threw it at you.
• Monkey sets up bombs to catch the child-snatcher, and places red rocks on top of them so the villagers would know to avoid it. Pigsy suggests using white rocks instead and scattering the red rocks around them, thinking it would confuse the demon (white meaning safe, red meaning danger). When a child goes missing, Monkey and Pigsy set off to rescue him and see the ground covered in only red rocks… and Pigsy sheepishly admits that he hadn’t had time to put the white rocks on top of the bombs. Cue Monkey and Pigsy running through the mine field with their hands over their eyes and ears while the bombs explode around them.
• The Running Gag of Mothrax's obsession with light, including running in circles around a torch while in human form, bumping headfirst into a lamp and killing herself off by flying directly into the open flame Pigsy lights.
• Kaedo asks if Monkey was allowed to go to the bathroom while trapped in the mountain. Monkey deflects the question, and Tripitaka jokes that there was a smell up on the mountain.
• Monkey, Pigsy, Sandy and Tripitaka all under the effects of the love potion. Complete with proclaiming their love for each other, having fights over who gets who, Monkey stripping, Sandy acting like a love-struck teenage girl, etc.
• Pigsy comes face-to-face with Gorm and tries to attack him with his rake… only for the rake to bounce directly off his armour.
• While Monkey is dragging Pigsy along on a stretcher (with the top end dragging along the ground), Sandy is trying to feed Pigsy some of the plant. Pigsy croaks out "Other end." Sandy goes wide-eyed… and prepares to shove the plant up his butthole. Pigsy clarifies that he meant for Monkey to pick up the other end of the stretcher so his feet are dragging instead of his head.
• Dreglon literally wetting himself in fear when confronted by Gorm. Then Hagfish not letting Gorm sit on the throne until after he's cleaned the mess up.
• The lead Harvester demands that the group hands over Pigsy, because he smells dead.
  Monkey: No, that's just Pigsy. He always smells like that.
• When Tripitaka tries to snap Monkey out of his illusion of paradise, she gets dragged away by Monkey's "security" because she "touched his leg".
• Monkey pretending to be a human, complete with a funny walk and accent. And his name is Norman.
  Monkey: Hello there. I'm a human. Everything is hard. Help me.
  • He then insists that Tripitaka's name is Tinkle. And their constant antics are also hilarious.
• Sandy and Pigsy also go undercover… with Sandy pretending to be a demon (calling herself "Lady Wrathbone of Hell's Kitchen", complete with an over-the-top accent) and Pigsy being forced to play the roll of her slave cook.
  • When Sandy first introduces herself to the other demons, it looks for a moment like the commander won't buy it… until he smells the food.
  Commander: Oh man, this smells delicious! Hey! Check this out! (All the other soldiers gather around.)
• When Khan first tastes Pigsy's food, she orders her men to throw her cook off a cliff.
• Pigsy insisting he's not good with heights is funny in itself given his track record, but Sandy's response makes it even funnier.
  Sandy: Don't worry. You won't be high for very long.
• The scene where they deal with Khan's valet. Monkey not-so-casually blocks the valet's path. Repeatedly. Kaedo tries to hit him with a poison dart, but misses and hits someone drinking at the table, who slowly falls backwards. The valet turns around to see what the commotion is about, Kaedo fires another dart and hits him square in the chest. The valet slowly turns back to Monkey before fainting onto him, and Monkey actually pretends to slow dance with him when a guard passes them. The guard gives them a weird look before moving along.
• Sandy feeds the demon guards poison berries, which leads to them farting repeatedly when Khan tries to execute Monkey, Pigsy and Kaedo.
  • Sandy then comes to rescue the trio, and tosses Pigsy his rake… forgetting that he's tied up, so it hits him in the face.
• Gaxin having no idea who Sandy is. And even after she tells him her name, he keeps forgetting.
• Dreglon's interrogation. Monkey keeps wanting to hurt him, but the others keep providing the information instead. When Monkey finally gets the chance to beat him up, Dreglon immediately caves before he even hits him with his staff.
  Monkey: This is boring. (walks away)
• There are two other sutras that Gaxin knows: the back-scratch sutra, and the full stomach sutra. Monkey is a fan of both.
  • Upon hearing the full stomach sutra:
  Pigsy: Does that work on anyone else? Asking for a friend.
• Monkey attempting to train the new recruits and not making any headway. He eventually admits that they're all terrible.
• Monica's various plans of attack all involve Pigsy fighting a whole lot of demons singlehandedly. With most of their names being pig puns of some form. All seemingly as revenge because he avoided paying his tab back at the tavern.
• Hagfish catches Sandy stealing the scrolls, causing her to panic and flee. She tries to mist through the walls… and crashes into them. When she tells the others what she tried to do, they remind her that God powers don't work in the Temple. But Sandy was under the impression that everyone could turn to mist when they wanted to.
• Shadow Monkey watching Hagfish's puppet show like an enthusiastic little kid, and getting excited when he sees the puppet of his counterpart.
• When offered breakfast, Monkey says he's not hungry and tells Pigsy to have it. Pigsy sheepishly admits he already ate it.