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Funny: The Newlywed Game

  • Late 1960s: Bob asks the wives what their husband's favorite kind of gas is. It quickly gets out of control when the first wife asked keeps coming up with "the rectal gas", and despite the fact that the judge wouldn't accept it, she couldn't think of another answer.
  • One of Eubanks' favorites was a Dumb Blonde who was baffled at the terms "rural" and "urban" after being asked which one described her husband better. Eubanks asked whether the doctor had given him anything for his urban, and she said "Well, he gave me something!"
  • "In our house, the power flows from the [blank] to the [what]?" "From the plug to the vibrator." This one is so out there that it's often said to be fictitious, but clips of it invariably turn up on blooper specials.
  • 1978: Pat & Charlie Berg, an older couple who heavily resembled (and sounded like!) Archie and Edith Bunker. They also gave us the famous "Closet Queen" moment.
  • "What's the first thing your husband does before he goes to bed?"
  • Another classic moment from the ABC era had a husband recalling an experience where he put a rubber spider in the shower where his wife was knowing that she hates spiders and the wife ran out of the shower. The wife then said "This was before we were married!", just before realizing what she had revealed on national television.
  • When Eubanks asked a wife how many decades old her mother-in-law was, the wife answered that she had no idea what a decade was, and so she guessed ten. When her husband came out and was asked the same question, he too had no idea what a decade was, but miraculously guessed ten as well! Strange Minds Think Alike.
  • "Gentlemen, what is your favorite pasta?", the husband says "Uh, flat on my stomach, looking at the TV screen...", since he apparently misheard it as "posture".
  • This possibly led to a divorce
    Eubanks: What is your favorite part of our Newlywed Game set?
    Contestant: Probably Wife Number 2.
    • Made worse because he is Husband Number 3.
  • Awkwardness Ensues
    Eubanks: What is your husband's favorite thing to squeeze in the supermarket?
    Contestant: I'll say his meat.
    (Bob and the audience laugh)
    Contestant: He's a butcher.
  • Another example of a CMOF
    Eubanks: Ladies, What will your husband say is his favorite rodent?
    Contestant: What's a rodent?
    Eubanks: (laughing) His favorite kind of a rodent
    Contestant: His saxophone.
    (Bob, the other contestants, and the audience erupt into laughter)
  • Another CMOF
    Eubanks: Ladies, In what country will your husband say the last foreign car he drove in was manufactured?
    Contestant The United States? (Smiles as the audience laughs)
    Contestant: Ummm, Texas.
    Eubanks: Texas!!! (begins laughing with the audience)
  • "Gentlemen, what would you wife say your neighbors have more of than you?". One husband answers "cars", but his wife guessed "grass". She says "They have more grass...", but when she realizes what she said, she adds "We have none!", making him say "I wouldn't bet on that!".
  • Pretty much anything on this page.
  • Bob asks the couples for the name of the Chinese restaurant closest to their house or apartment:
    Husband: Well, for one thing, I don't like Chinese food.
    Bob: That's okay, we just wanna know the name of the restaurant.
    Husband: But she never lets me forget.
    Bob: Oh, good.
    Husband: Um...
    (everyone laughs)
  • "Where is the busiest place you and your husband have ever made whoopie?". The wife guesses "[her] apartment", while her husband guessed "a drive-in movie". When she stares at him in puzzlement, he says "Oh, maybe that wasn't you...", making her scream "IT WASN'T ME!" and gasp in shock while he laughs with a shit-eating grin. If that didn't lead to a divorce, who knows what would?note 
  • "What was the last Jewish food you ate?". One husband answers "chow mein", which is somewhat true. One of the wives answers "corn", although her husband gave the logical answer "bagels", making his wife ask "Bagels? What are bagels?". But when Bob asks him to explain what bagels are, he answers "I don't know, I'm Mormon.".
  • 1980s edition: "Gentlemen, how would your wife complete this sentence: 'Every morning, I usually find my husband's (blank) on my (what)'?". One husband, an elderly man, says "I'd probably find my teeth on her sink!".
    • Similarly, in the 60s/70s edition, Bob asked the wives "After your wedding, would your husband say he did or did not carry you over the threshold?". One wife, Florence, an elderly woman, answered "He didn't because he couldn't!".

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