Dr. Bey: [stutters in disbelief] Oh, look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs, flies, locusts! Anything but you! Compared to you the other plagues were a joy! Evelyn: I am so very sorry. It was an accident! Dr. Bey: My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe!
Officer: [looks up at warden and appears to ask in Arabic whether he should do as he asks or not]
Warden: [responds with a hand gesture something in Arabic that clearly says "what are you, crazy?"] Of course don't let him go!
Rick: [rolls his eyes as the officer slaps the back of his head, annoyed and embarrassed]
Evy bartering with the prison warden for Rick's life, who all the while is being strangled to death by the hanging noose.
Warden: You are telling me that this filthy, godless son of a pig knows the way to the City of the Dead?!
Evy: [frantic] Yes! Yes, and if you set him free we will give you- [glances at Rick] - ten per cent!
Warden: ... Fifty percent!
Warden: [Beat before he realises his mistake] ARGH! [to officers] CUT HIM DOWN!
[Rick is cut down from the gallows, and Evy smugly smirks at him in a way that clearly says "you had better keep your end of the deal now"]
In the same scene, before he actually drops Evy keeps upping the amount she's willing to pay to save Rick from the gallows. Once she gets to five hundred pounds, the warden briefly orders for his men to stop and asks her what else she's willing to offer, placing his hand on her thigh and claiming to be "a very lonely man". Evy smacks his hand away with disgust and each and every one of the inmates laugh raucously in approval.
Beni in general. Especially when threatened by Rick.
Beni: Think of my children! Rick: You don't have any children! Beni: ... Someday I might. Rick: Shut up!
The barge is on fire and the warden runs up to Rick (who was previously his inmate, and was nearly hanged because of him):
Warden: O'Connell! O'Connell! O'Connell! What are we going to do?! What are we going to do?! Rick: Wait here! I'll go get help! Warden: Right! [Rick jumps in the river and leaves the warden on the fiery barge] [Beat] [Warden roars in anger, jumps into the river and follows Rick]
During the fight on the barge, it cuts to the Americans in a firefight with several Medji. Meanwhile, the Egyptologist they brought along is cowering behind them, making hilariously exaggerated flails and faces of panic with each gunshot.
The aftermath of the attack on the barge, where everybody has had to swim for the shore while attempting to gather everything needed for the journey onwards.
Beni: HEY, O'CONNELL! IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE I'VE GOT ALL THE HOR-SES! Rick: HEY, BENI! IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE RI-VER! Beni: [Beat as he looks around, then kicks the water and curses in Hungarian]
When the American's party sees the other group confidently digging in a completely different location, Henderson asks if they know something that they don't. The Egyptologist makes a smug comment about how they are led by Evy. "What does a woman know?" Cue Evy giving a detailed explanation on the origins of the statue and historical theory, using an ingenious mirror trick to full the chambers below with light and finding the location with the treasure before the other group.
The entire scene where Evy gets drunk and chats with Rick, complete with her slurring out "You're wondering, what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?" and their Almost Kiss.
Evy: [drunkenly gesturing and trying to be dignified] I may not be an explorer, or- or an adventurer, or treasure-seeker, or gun-fighter, Mr. O'Connell! But I am proud of what I am!
Rick: ... And that is?
Evy: I... am a librarian! [proud smile] And... I am going to kiss you, Mr. O'Connell.
The subtitles make this even funnier. Imhotep is labelled as "Supernatural Roar" and Rick is then "Macho Roar".
Beni's attempt to save himself from Imhotep with a cross and a prayer to Jesus. When it doesn't work, he pulls out a necklace hung with about twenty different religious emblems and goes through them one by one, trying to find a god who will save his life.
When they decide that that need to find the Egyptologist and bring him back to the fort before Imhotep can get to him, Rick immediately orders Evy to stay put and commands the other three (Daniels and Henderson, the remaining members of the American's party, and Johnathan) to follow him. Cue a cacophony of protests from all four, and Rick casting his eyes upwards in exasperation.
Beni:ARGH!! The book!! The black book they found at Hamunaptra! He said to me that it would be worth it's weight in gold!
Johnathan: What does he want the book for?
Beni: [weakly, as Rick lowers him] Oh, come on, I don't know- [is promptly hoisted back up] Aaaarg-! Something about bringing his dead girlfriend back to life! But that's all, I swear, he just want's the book, I swear... [is lowered once more, glances at Johnathan] And your sister-
Imhotep: [gives a roar that basically translates into "Oh Crap" and dissolves into a tornado of sand]
Oh no! Jonathan is about to be attacked by a mob of Imhotep's followers! What does he do? He opens his eyes real big, staggers around, and starts chanting Im-ho-tep in a vacant tone. And it actually works!
Best part: The mob immediately follows his lead, slowing down and chanting along as he backs out of the crowd.
Rick's threat to Beni, and Beni's response.
Rick: You're gonna get yours Beni, you hear me!? You're gonna get yours!
Jonathan and Ardeth Bay strapped to the wings of the biplane. The Stoic Ardeth is clearly having the time of his life, and Jonathan is definitely not. Their respective responses to Rick asking if they are alright:
Ardeth: [grinning like a maniac]
Jonathan: DO I BLOODY LOOK ALRIGHT?!
After Imhotep makes the biplane crash:
Beni: I loved the sand wall trick, it was beautiful.
The part where Jonathan is looking at the pygmy mummies, wondering how they managed that, and the others look at him as if to remind him of what happened the last time he poked at something...
Izzy's barrage of complaints upon meeting Rick again, including the immortal "I'm in mourning for my arse!"
Izzy:Remember that bank job in Marrakesh? Evelyn: Bank job? Rick: It's not like it sounds. Izzy: Oh it's exactly how it sounds! I'm flying high, hiding in the sun, the white boy here flags me down, so I fly in low for the pickup. The next thing I know, I get shot! I'm lying in the middle of the road with my spleen hangin' out and I see him waltzing up with some belly dancer girl. Evelyn: Belly dancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk... Izzy: As long as I don't get shot.
Izzy: O'Connell! You almost got me killed! Rick: At least you didn't get shot. Evie: [showers Izzy with kisses] Izzy! Thank you! Thank you! Izzy: [mellowed out] O'Connell, who the hell you been messing with this time? Rick: Oh you know, the usual. Mummies. Pygmies. Big... bugs...
Speaking of Izzy, his comment when his dirigible runs out of gas and sputters to a halt just as the gang's trying to evade Imhotep on the way to Ahm Shere:
Jonathan: Well I haven't got a gold stick, either!
"Shrunken Heads. I'd love to know how they do that." Cue everyone staring at him incredulously.
Anck-su-namun complements Evy's remembrance of the "old ways" of fighting they used to practice... and promptly gets introduced to the modern portion of Evy's fighting style through a headbutt.
Evy: That's a little something new!
Jonathan and one of the mooks run into each other during the pursuit by the pygmy mummies. They take shelter in a circle of stones, with Jonathan reassuring the mook that they won't cross the sacred stones. Cue a pygmy pole-vaulting over the stones to stab the mook, leaving him looking utterly aghast at Jonathan. Jonathan simply shouts "My mistake!" and runs.