Ted: Oh, please, you don't owe me any explanations. You know why? Because I'm glad I wasn't invited to your party. Do you think I even wanted to go to one of your parties? It is to laugh, Mary! You know something, Mary? You don't know this, but I've had lots of parties that you were never invited to. Oh, yes, that's right! Wonderful parties, and you were never invited. Come-as-you-are parties, surprise parties, Hawaiian night parties where you had to say "Aloha" or you couldn't get in. Parties that would have changed your life, Mary, and you weren't invited. Parties where you would have fallen in love with that Mr. Right you've been so desperately waiting for. Yes, Mary, he was at one of my parties too! The one man in the world meant just for you, Mary, and you missed him. The man that would have given you a home and marriage and children and comfort in your old age was at one of my parties, Mary, AND YOU WEREN'T INVITED!!!
Possibly even funnier than “Chuckles Bites the Dust”: the episode “Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Writer,” in which Ted enrolls in the same creative writing class Mary is taking. Ted freaks out about an assignment and Mary tells him the story of something that happened to her in high school, which is the topic of her assignment. In the next class, Ted tells a ridiculously gender-switched, poorly researched version of Mary’s story, which would have been the funniest moment of the episode were it not for Mary’s priceless response to Ted’s story.
Mary: Thank you. I have never been so happy to tell a story in my life! This is a story about someone so...so insensitive. Yes, insensitive, Ted Baxter, that he would use part of a person's life...to get a crummy three minutes of attention! This is somebody so... Look at me, Ted! This is somebody so insensitive and who has reached such a low point that he would steal a story! That was one of the most important moments in my life, Ted, and you made it into a...a horse story! Well, you've gone too far! I have some things on my chest that I have been saving for YEARS! [the bell rings] NOBODY MOVE!
In Season 6's "Once I Had a Secret Love", a Tear Jerker moment between Mary and Lou (the latter stating that they aren't friends anymore after the former told Murray that Lou had slept with Sue Ann) is broken up by Ted's arrival, particularly when he tries to stop Mary from crying.
Ted: Mary? You want to see what I do to stop Georgette from crying?
Mary: (stops crying to look up at Ted)
Ted: (throws out his hands in a frightening motion) BOO!
Mary: (shrieks, resumes crying)
Ted: Oh, shoot! That's for hiccups!
Ted's attempts to avoid getting subpoenaed in "Mary Gets a Lawyer", which includes donning a disguise while doing his daily report. It's almost difficult to hear what Knight is saying because the audience starts laughing so loudly.
Ted: (dressed in a beard and mustache) This is Nigel Reed substituting for Ted Baxter, who's on religious retreat... in Washington.
Later, Ted does show up as a witness for the prosecution, and it's clear that they underestimated his incompetence, as they constantly ask him what he knows about Mary's job, only for Ted to repeatedly answer with "I don't know".
Ted makes it a Brick Joke in the stinger when he thanks "Nigel Reed" for filling in for him.
Ted: God bless you, Nigel.
Mary's lawyer showing up drunk to the trial could also count.
When Mary presses Ted on whether or not he actually knows what she does, he lampshades the general routine of any given episode.
Ted: You don't want me to tell them what you really do around here, do you?
Mary: What do you think I do around here?
Ted: (laughs) Well, you come in, you hang up your coat, you talk to Murray. You go in there, discuss your problems with Lou. You wear a lot of different clothes and you have a lot of big parties. You wouldn't want me to tell them that, would you?
After Mary proceeds to go into detail about what she really does for the station, Ted replies with a line that even she finds rather funny.
Ted: Gee, and I always thought it was my fault the show had stunk!