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The Hunger Games
- Katniss describing the arenas.
Katniss: The arenas are historic sites, preserved after the Games. Popular destinations for Capitol residents to visit, to vacation. Go for a month, rewatch the Games, tour the catacombs, visit the sites where the deaths took place. You can even take part in reenactments.They say the food is excellent.
- Katniss' early impression of Cinna when he first describes her as "Katniss, the girl who was on fire":
It crosses my mind that Cinna’s calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.
- From the same scene, Katniss' guess as to why Haymitch isn't around to protest them being set alight: "With all that alcohol in him, it's probably not advisable to have him around an open flame."
- Effie tries to impress upon Katniss the importance of smiling at people she despises. Katniss questions how she could possibly smile at people who are betting on how long she'll live.
Effie: Well, try and pretend! *suddenly beams* See, like this. I'm smiling at you even though you're aggravating me.
- "Frosting, the final defense of the dying."
Katniss: It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death.Peeta: Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you'll find in the arena. Say it's actually a gigantic cake—
- Previously, in the Training Center:
- "When you put enough pressure on coal, it turns to pearls!" And Effie's so proud of it, as if it were the cleverest thing anyone could have possibly said.
Although lacking in many departments, Effie Trinket has a certain determination I have to admire.
- Right after the "pearls" bit, Effie says she'll get Haymitch to meet the potential sponsors at gunpoint if necessary.
- Katniss realizing she must be hallucinating when it looks to her like Peeta is sparkling.
- Cato's reaction to Katniss and Rue blowing up the Career's food:
So people really do tear out their hair and beat the ground with their fists.
- The part between Katniss and Peeta while they ate lamb stew in the cave, where Peeta makes fun of Effie Trinket's disapproval of their manners.
- On a similar note, Katniss mentioning how Effie must hate their manners when they get food while in the cave. Peeta then licks his plate, blows a kiss in the general direction of Effie, and says, "We miss you, Effie!"
- There's also when Effie is teaching Katniss how to be more ladylike, admonishing her for pulling her skirt above her knees and eating like a slob, both which Katniss does deliberately to aggravate the more proper Effie.
- This exchange, shortly after Katniss finds Peeta by the river:
Katniss: For all I know, I am killing you.Peeta: Could you hurry it up then?Katniss: No. Shut up and eat your pears.
- This one:
Katniss: The audience must be sick to death of the star-crossed lovers from District 12. I know I am.
- "While I was waiting... I ate your lunch."
- This exchange, when Katniss is still mad at Peeta for not returning her signal and scaring her to death, so she accuses him of eating some of their cheese just to pick a fight:
Katniss: Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.Peeta: (slowly and distinctly) I don't know what ate the cheese, but it wasn't me.
- Geez, they fight almost like a married couple...
- There's a passage towards the end of the first book that's not funny in any way, a Tear Jerker really. Yet the last line is laugh out loud because of its absurdity within the context (and how Capitol-typical it seems):
Peeta’s so pale and still on a silver table, tubes and wires springing out of him every which way, and for a moment I forget we’re out of the Games and I see the doctors as just one more threat, one more pack of mutts designed to kill him. Petrified, I lunge for him, but I’m caught and thrust back into another room, and a glass door seals between us. I pound on the glass, screaming my head off. Everyone ignores me except for some Capitol attendant who appears behind me and offers me a beverage.
- "Then there's Peeta, who will be my partner in this deception, but how do I begin that conversation? Hey, Peeta, remember how I told you I was kind of faking being in love with you? Well, I really need you to forget about that now and act extra in love with me or the president might kill Gale."
- "As far as I can tell, [my prep team] never get[s] up before noon unless there's some sort of national emergency, like my leg hair."
- Katniss at the Capitol banquet during the Victory Tour:
I act delighted, but I have zero interest in these Capitol people. They are only distractions from the food.
- In general, Katniss' constant focusing on food, prioritizing it over thinking or talking of strategy and letting plot points and romance drama fly right over her head, is often pretty funny... when and if you forget she's been hungry her entire life.
- Haymitch to Katniss, about Effie, and Katniss and Peeta's impending wedding: "Do you know she asked me if I'd like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better."
- This exchange between Peeta, Prim, Haymitch, and Katniss to cover in front of the Peacekeepers.
Peacekeeper: May we ask where you've been, Miss Everdeen?Katniss: Easier to ask where I haven't been.Haymitch: So where haven't you been?Katniss: Well, I haven't been talking to the Goat Man about getting Prim's goat pregnant, because someone gave me completely inaccurate information as to where he lives.Prim: No, I didn't. I told you exactly.Katniss: You said he lives beside the west entrance to the mine.Prim: The east entrance.Katniss: You distinctly said west, because then I said 'next to the slag heap?' and you said 'yeah'.Prim: The slag heap next to the east entrance.Katniss: No. When did you say that?Haymitch: Last night.Peeta: It was definitely the east. I'm sorry, but it's what I've been saying. You don't listen when people talk to you.Haymitch: Bet people told you he didn't live there today and you didn't listen again.Katniss: Shut up, Haymitch. (Haymitch, Peeta and Prim laugh) Fine. Somebody else can arrange to get the stupid goat knocked up.
Katniss: None of you deserve candy!
- Peeta, Haymitch, and Prim then proceed to steal the bag of peppermint candy Katniss bought in town and play keep away with it.
- The Katniss/Haymitch/Peeta banter is often hilarious, even in rather serious situations.
Peeta: And, Haymitch? We decided we don't want any other allies in the arena.Haymitch: Good. Then I won't be responsible for you killing off any of my friends with your stupidity.Katniss: That's just what we were thinking.
- Katniss calls Peeta during a snowstorm to see if he got home safely:
Katniss:: Hey, I just wanted to make sure you got home.Peeta: Katniss, I live three houses away from you.
- The mention of the killer squirrels during the Second Quarter Quell.
- Due to the condition of the third Quarter Quell, the Reaping was pretty hysterical as Effie reaches into a bowl filled with only one ballot when choosing the female Tribute, and while there were more options for male Tributes, one of them flat out volunteers and renders the choosing pointless.
- The outfits the District 10 Tributes wear to the Chariot Ride before the Quarter Quell. Apparently, stylists are trying to replicate the success of Cinna's flaming outfits. District 10 works on livestock, though, so the tributes are dressed as... cows with flaming belts.
- The Victors screwing with Katniss and Peeta in the Capitol in Catching Fire. There's Finnick's creepy "want a sugar cube?" scene, Johanna stripping off her clothes, and Chaff randomly kissing Katniss, pretty much just to mess with the "star-crossed lovers."
- Katniss and Peeta's ensuing argument right after is pretty funny too, with Katniss getting all defensive and Peeta trying to calm her down...while still kind of laughing. And then the scene hits some Mood Whiplash...
- Katniss meeting Finnick for the first time, from him coming up and offering her a sugar cube, to her agreeing to tell Peeta more about it when her "skin stops crawling."
- Johanna Mason's first appearance in particular, where she's naked in the elevator and casually chatting with Katniss and Peeta.
- It's even funnier in the movie. The face Katniss makes in that scene is just hilarious to look at.
- During the pre-Quell training sequence in Catching Fire, Katniss remarks that the District 3 tributes are "a little strange," but is confident that they won't pull any crazy stunts like Johanna's post-Opening Ceremony striptease. The very next paragraph, as Katniss is looking around the Training Center for other things to try, has this bit:
Johanna Mason is naked again and oiling her skin down for a wrestling lesson. I decide to stay put.
- In training, Finnick makes a noose and mock hangs himself to try and make Katniss laugh. She rolls her eyes and goes over to the fire-building station.
- Becomes a Funny Aneurysm in light of Mockingjay: Finnick was killed by mutts ripping off his head. Decapitation can occur in botched hangings.
- During training for the Quell:
Katniss: Great. Now I have to go back and tell Haymitch I want an eighty-year old and Nuts and Volts for my allies. He'll love that.
Katniss: I shrug. "But I don't want Brutus. I want Mags and District Three."Haymitch: "Of course you do."Katniss: Haymitch sighs and orders a bottle of wine.Haymitch: "I'll just tell everybody you're still making up your mind."
- And in the same vein, a little later:
- "I guess this is a bad time to mention I hung a dummy and painted Seneca Crane's name on it."
- "...if it weren't for the baby"... Peeta, you did it again! Not only trumping his surprise from the previous year, but also completely unsuspected since he played the "we're already married"-card moments before. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome, With Peeta having mastered audience manipulation, and this being the drop that sends everyone off the deep end.
- Another smartass moment:
Finnick: Where did you learn [to swim] in District 12?Katniss: We have a big bathtub.
- Also note, this was being said while he was pointing his trident at her, and she was pointing a loaded bow at him. Which just makes if funnier.
- Following a dramatic moment:
Peeta: Careful... There's a forcefield up ahead.
- Katniss spent her first Games thirsty and terrified, while Haymitch screwed around with her sponsorship gifts in order to reinforce what she's doing right and discourage what she'd doing wrong. In her second games, she's not having it.
Katniss: Hey, Haymitch, if you're not too drunk, we could use a little something for our skin.
- After Katniss and Finnick observe how awful their newly-received salve makes them look, they agree to wake Peeta with both of their faces right in front of his and go into uncontrollable fits of laughter at his startled reaction and subsequent efforts at looking disdainful.
"Hey, Finnick, come on in! We figured out how to make you pretty again!"
- The conversations that ensue over the skin ointment:
Finnick: It's like you're decomposing.Katniss: Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven't looked pretty?Finnick: It must be. The sensation's completely new. How have you managed it all these years?Katniss: Just avoid mirrors. You'll forget about it.Finnick: Not if I keep looking at you.
- Finnick recognizing a distant, bright red thing as Johanna by how angry it is.
- The dragger stamps the ground in frustration and, in an apparent fit of temper, turns and shoves the circling, deranged one over.Finnick's face lights up. "Johanna!" he calls, and runs for the red things.
- Later, Finnick tossing Johanna over his shoulder and dunking her in the ocean repeatedly until she stops screaming insults at Katniss.
- While it's not as funny a moment later, because she's dead, Wiress' walking around in circles muttering "tick, tock" is pretty funny. Plus how fed up Johanna is with her.
- The joke about "coal turning to pearls" from the first book is called back, when Peeta finds a pearl in an oyster and repeats the line. Finnick, who's been teaching them to dig for oysters, isn't in on the joke:
Finnick: [dismissively] No, it doesn't.
- Katniss thinking about the possibility of killing her allies during the Quarter Quell:
Johanna, frankly, I could easily kill if it came down to protecting Peeta. Or maybe even just to shut her up.
- When Peeta is trying to get Katniss to remember that they interview family members at the final eight, and Peeta asks her "What happens at the Final 8?" she responds "seven more of us die".
- Haymitch: "So it's you and a syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why you don't make the plans!"
- "And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies."
- "Finnick? Maybe some pants?"
- "Why? Do you find this *strips off hospital gown and strikes a sexy pose* ...distracting?"
- And then, a bit later: "Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear."
- The soldiers' reactions as Katniss and Finnick leave.
- When Katniss returns from District 12 with Buttercup in her bag:
"My mother and sister are home for 18:00-Reflection, a half hour of downtime before dinner...I empty my game bag and it becomes 18:00-Cat Adoration. Prim just sits on the floor weeping and rocking that awful Buttercup, who interrupts his purring only for an occasional hiss at me. He gives me a particularly smug look when she ties the blue ribbon around his neck."
"He attains celebrity status with his evening game of Crazy Cat. I created this by accident a few years ago, during a winter blackout. You simply wiggle a flashlight beam around on the floor, and Buttercup tries to catch it. I'm petty enough to enjoy it because I think it makes him look stupid."
- There are lots of funny Buttercup moments:
- The truly unbelievable fact that cinches the funny here is that, in an environment where every resource is tightly controlled, Katniss is actually issued batteries for the specific purpose of playing Crazy Cat.
- "The citizens of 13 are truly starved for entertainment."
- A rather dramatic moment, but with a funny line. Haymitch describes how they used a recording of Katniss telling the story of how she got Prim's goat while attempting to re-hijack Peeta's mind.
- Haymitch: When he woke up, he kept asking about the goat.
- Johanna really has got a pretty cavalier attitude to things that would scare the crap out of anyone else. Take this summary of one of Peeta's meltdowns in Mockingjay for example:
Johanna: You missed the best part. Delly lost her temper at Peeta over how he treated you. She got very squeaky. It was like someone stabbing a mouse with a fork repeatedly. The whole dining hall was riveted.Katniss: What'd Peeta do?Johanna: He started arguing with himself like he was two people. The guards had to take him away. On the good side, no one seemed to notice I finished his stew.
- The entire conversation between Haymitch and Katniss concerning 'The Head Shackle'.
- Katniss threatening the cat.
I'll still cook you.
- Gale mouthing "War. Terrible war..." to Katniss, anticipatorily mocking the opening lines of the propaganda video Effie's about to display like every year.
- Pretty much anything that came from Effie's mouth.
- (with a scolding finger) "Manners!"
- "That is mahogany!"
- The Impossibly Tacky Clothes make her funnier.
- Effie is bagging out Katniss for shooting the apple out of the pig's mouth and turns to Haymitch for help. He gives Katniss a silent thumbs up. Effie's face is hilarious. "Thank you for your consideration." curtsy
- And the almighty Haymitch strikes again:
Haymitch: (turns to Katniss) Nice dress. (turns to Effie) Not yours.
- The look Effie gives him after was the cherry on top.
- A rather twisted moment, but Ceasar Flickerman appearing in Katniss' hallucination to provide exposition was kind of amusing.
- The way Katniss curtsies to the Gamemakers after her private session with them looked kind of awkward and silly, but pretty funny.
- She also walked off and almost forgotten to replace the bow.
- "You call that a kiss?"
- Her Aside Glance after that was pretty priceless, too.
- Peeta telling Katniss he'll take the bow and her affronted and confused look. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming when he tells her he's kidding and she smiles affectionately. It reminds us that Katniss and Peeta are just two teenagers and Peeta is just trying to flirt with her.
- The first part of Snow and Seneca's conversation in the rose garden:
Snow: An eleven?Seneca: She earned it.Snow: She shot an arrow at your head.Seneca: At an apple.Snow: Near your head.
- When Caesar turns to address the audience. Cue super pearly white grin.
- Tumblr makes this one funnier by posting a gif of the scene with an audio clip that plays "My Shiny Teeth and Me".
- Cato yelling at some male tributes for taking his knife. Cut to Rue up in the rafters, holding it.
- Even one of the training staff, a normally dour lot, looks amused.
- Also amusing are Katniss and Thresh's approving gazes.
- One that probably wasn't supposed to be funny, but becomes that way thanks to Donald Sutherland's bone dry delivery.
Seneca: Everyone loves an underdog.Snow: I don't.
- Haymitch's opening scene.
- "Tell me, do I smell like roses to you?"
- Followed by Peeta striking a pose that mirrors Caesar's.
- On Ceasar's talk show, when there were like twenty different shots of him smiling this super pearly white grin in the background. The epitome of a talk show host.
- "I'm not going to kill anyone with a sack of flour."
- This exchange when Katniss and Rue first get together and Rue tells her who died while she was out:
Katniss: And the boy from my district?Rue: Yeah, he's ok...
- What makes it really funny though is the way Rue slyly smirks as she says he's ok. The middle of the Hunger Games, and Katniss is getting teased about a boy...