Funny / The Guild

Codex: Why is there a pack of cheese on the table?
Vork: Thank you for asking, Codex. The price difference here between a cheeseburger and a hamburger is one dollar. Now if you divide twelve into $2.95, the cost of a pack of Kraft Deli Deluxe in mild cheddar cheese slices, the slice costs 24.5 cents. If you bring your own cheese that's a savings of 75.5 cents per burger. Anybody requiring cheese may pay me so accordingly. Go ahead and round it up.
Tinkerballa: ...what the fuck?
  • "I hope you're not allergic to biiiirds!"
  • "Women: can't live with 'em... they will not go out with me."
  • The montage of applicants for The Knights of Good.
    • One of the most memorable of 'applicants', Lord Bolio, who returns in Season 5 in an attempt to steal Zaboo's spot at a panel.
  • Codex trying to do gang signs.
  • Codex and the matzah.
  • Any scene with Vork yelling or screaming, as well as telling people off. An Especially memorable one is his reaction to Zaboo's re-mapping of his hotkeys.
    • Also when Bladez stole and encrypted Vork's (neighbor's) Wi-Fi password.
  • The whole Putting the Band Back Together:
    Vork: Henceforth, I have ended my journey, and I have arrived to take back Guild Leader...YEEES!
    Vork: "Zaboo, if you choose not to accompany us, than we must move on without you. And you'll be dead to me as a human being. And, were I in a situation where I had to choose between saving you or a dog, who I have never met before, from drowning, then I would do my best to drown you myself, in order to save this strange, unfamiliar dog, who I would not even care to keep after rescuing. But would, afterward, place in a non-abusive foster home. Good day!"
    Zaboo (later, to Clara): "Clara, you're a dog., a drowning dog, I'm going to drown you. I'm going to kill you... and you're gonna learn to... how does this go?"
    Vork: "What?"
  • Pretty much the entirety of "Battle Royale". All the character interactions when the guilds face off, and each character's reaction when their avatars get killed (Bruiser and Kwan in particular)... it's all so priceless.
  • Team Cawkes.
  • "Go to hell, Real Life; I'll punch you in the face!"
  • Vork: My Mother's dead.
    • Employing her as Miss September would simply be inappropriate.
  • Bladezz's Cheesy Beard's commercial.
  • "Mrs. Zaboo, will you marry me?"
  • "Why don't you try creating your own virtual world! I'll bet it would look like Fresno!!!"
  • Zaboo being The Don at Megagameorama Con (5.7), granting a favor to Neil Freaking Gaiman. Complete with a Bond villain plushie-cat.
    • To follow that up, his release of Stan Lee from the clutches of his Master Chief bouncers.
    Zaboo: St-Stan that's it? I feel there was like, a second part to that sentence that you wer-
  • In Season 5 Clara tries to get Zaboo to go to sleep (he had been forcing himself to stay up all weekend) by singing him a song to calm him down. What song does she sing?
    "My humps...My humps...My lovely lady lumps..."