Funny / Taskmaster Australia

Taskmaster Funny Index
British Series:
Series: One to Five | Six to Ten | Eleven to Fifteen | Sixteen to Twenty
Other Series: New Zealand Series | Australian Series

In General

• Danielle and Julia having to perform a choreographed dance at the end of all of their team tasks which, as Tom Gleeson reminds viewers multiple times, they will get no bonus points for in spite of the other team not having to do it.
• Nina approaching every task with unbridled confidence and enthusiasm and then more often than not failing epically at it due to not reading the task instructions properly and Tom Gleeson's increasing snark and exasperation about this.
  Tom Gleeson: What the fuck am I gonna do with you, Nina? When the task gets read out to you and you read the task, what's actually going on inside your head? Anything at all?
  Nina: There's actually a lot of stuff going... It's mostly me being like, "Do-do-do-do-do..."

Foot Juice

• In the "get the balloon out of the caravan task":
  • Luke forgets about the "you may not touch the caravan" clause immediately after reading it out loud in spite of taking care to not violate the "you may not step into the caravan" clause right after it. He doesn't realize that scooting backwards into the caravan on his butt is still a violation of the task's rules until Tom Cashman repeats the rules to him after he's retrieved the balloon.
  • After all the contestants' attempts are shown, it looks like Luke is going to be the only one disqualified... until Tom Cashman mentions that there's some more footage that Tom Gleeson should see. Cue additional video footage revealing that Julia actually stepped into the caravan once and touched it four times and Jimmy touched the caravan twenty-five times.
    Tom Gleeson: All my dreams have come true. We are opening the whole series with a mass disqualification event. This is great! I thought we'd have to wait weeks for this.
• The "create a minute-long montage of your life" task results in most of the contestants performing comically exaggerated renditions of their lives.
  • Danielle's montage shows her combating the "scourge of feral pigs" with her granddad, receiving a BP Scout Medallion from Quentin Bryce, and dying on her 410th birthday.
    Tom Gleeson: If the Scouts were a highlight of your life, I'm assuming you've had a bit of a shit life.
  • Nina's montage shows her holding a press conference about how reading Space for Dummies blew her mind, going into space, and never being seen again.
  • Luke's montage is by far the most blatantly exaggerated, showing him clearing a lake in a single leap on a bicycle while shouting "I support gay marriage!", being knighted by the king of Tasmania, discovering the cure for cancer, and dying after winning the Sex Grand Final but then showing up to his own funeral. Tom Gleeson, in spite of marking down Nina for the obvious inaccuracies in her montage, blithely accepts Luke's claim that his montage was completely true to his own life.
• For the "fill the glass with orange juice" task:
  • Danielle completely fails to realize that she's not allowed to squeeze the oranges on the bench with her hands even after asking Tom Cashman to repeat the task's instructions to her.
  • Nina fills up her glass only about halfway but she repeatedly insists that a half-full glass should still count as a full glass. Then Tom C reveals that they did measure the exact amount of orange juice in Nina's glass... and it was exactly 49.4%.

Keep It Clean and Flowing

• From the "let the cat out of the bag" task:
  • Nina is so confident about her performance in the task that she not only believes that she won the task but she also makes a $50 bet with Tom Cashman that she'll win the whole show. Not only does she fail to win this task, but she ultimately ends up coming in second last place in the overall rankings.
  • Julia is the only contestant who doesn't catch on to any of the clues to where the cat is. In spite of noticing that some of the bags spell out "CAT" and that there's a drone filming her from above, she never considers that the above view of the bags might be important and keeps on obliviously waving to the drone that's showing the bags clearly arranged into an arrow pointing to the right bag from its height.
• For the "call an older family member and make them hang up on you on the shortest time without making them suspect you want them to hang up on you" task:
  • Luke calls his mother and she talks to him for twenty minutes, covering thirty-four separate topics, including the stock market and the sequel to Avatar.
  • Julia beats it in just 17 seconds by calling her agent, with the reasoning that she's old enough that most of her older relatives are already dead.
    Tom Gleeson: I must say, a theme's emerging, Julia. You seem to do the best when you put in the least amount of effort.
    Julia: Oh, welcome to my career, Tom!

Cricketmaster

• From the "fly a thong the furthest" task:
  • Luke decides to try throwing the thong and having Tom Cashman bat it far away with a cricket bat. Not only is he consistently awful at throwing it accurately enough, but he didn't even think to ask Tom Cashman beforehand if he played cricket (he does not).
  • Jimmy tries out things like attaching the thong to a cricket bat and trying to throw the bat like a javelin and jumping on a trampoline before it occurs to him that he'd do better by just throwing the thong on its own.
  • Nina connects a long string from a tree to the balcony for the thong to zip down on. She releases the thong, dramatic music swells... and the thong makes it only about a foot before hanging limply from the line.
• Jimmy, Luke, and Nina's absolutely bizarre attempt at the "transform into twins/triplets" team task that consists of them draping black cloth over their faces with eggs on top and giving Tom Cashman riddles one word at a time that result in: "What is your name?", "How many times has the moon had an aneurysm?", and "Who did the time?"
  Tom Gleeson: I think the three of you demonstrated what happens if you're too supportive of each other. If you're in a group with no bad ideas, it means that they're all bad ideas.
• The "perform the most passionate cricket appeal" task, where the majority of the contestants turn out to have no idea what a cricket appeal even is.
  Nina: I have a problem, which is I don't know what "cricket appeal" is. Is it, like, the most sexy cricketer? Like, the most appealing cricketer?
  • Danielle has her incoherently yelling head superimposed on Tom Cashman's fist-shaking body to represent the angry cricket referee. Tom C asks her afterwards who the most famous Australian cricketer is, which completely stumps her for a good minute:
    Danielle: Oh... that man... Was his name B? B? Bob? Bob? Bob, Bob, Bob? What's his... you know him. Bob. They called him the Green... the Green Hat. The Green... The Sloppy Green. The Floppy. The Baggy. The Baggy Green^note "The Baggy Green" is a nickname for the national cricket team's uniform. What's his name? Don Bradman — that's it! It's not Bob, it's Don!
    Tom C: (in the studio) You know, I looked it up and Don Bradman, when he was born, his name before he changed it was Robert. Bob for short.
    (Danielle gasps)
    Tom G: Really?
    Tom C: No.
  • Luke does actually know what a cricket appeal is and he sets up the knight and giraffe to be the batter and fielder, but the string he was planning to pull them into position with gets tangled up and he instead hastily knocks over the giraffe and says a half-hearted "How's that?"
  • Jimmy claims that he stopped playing cricket after he was beaten by a 25-foot-tall rival cricketer at 14 years old and he reenacts this so that he gets revenge on this "behemoth boy".
• In the "convince the Taskmaster that you deserve five points" task:
  • Luke's interpretations of his task paddles make for a chain of constant comedy.
    Luke: [for "Casually mention"] Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. Also, if you've got five points lying around, I'll... I'll take 'em. But you don't have to. Whatever. I don't care if you don't. Whatever. (blows raspberry)
    Luke: [for "Degrade yourself"] I'm a real piece of shit. I don't deserve five points. Uh, I... I shouldn't even be here. I don't... I don't think I'm even holding this sign very well.
    Luke: [for "Silently suggest"] (walks over to the Taskmaster's golden head and begins whispering to it, before remembering that he can't speak and switching to making hasty gestures at Tom Gleeson) ...I went to whisper, then I realized it's "silently", so I can't say anything. So I just stood there next to Tom and panicked.
    Luke: [for "Firmly Demand"] Tom, you piece of shit, give me five points!
  • Julia also gets in a good one with her "Making a promise you must then keep" paddle.
    Julia: Taskmaster, I've got friends that know your family, so if I don't get the five points, I'm gonna drive my vehicle... (whistle blows to signal the end of the ten-second limit) ...in the pool.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

• The "sink a bowling ball" task:
  • One of the task's stipulations is that the contestants cannot get wet. The backside of Luke's pants is very visibly wet after he gets the bowling ball out of the lake but he claims that it's just because he peed in his pants.
    Tom Gleeson: Luke, I'll accept that you weren't wet if you're happy to admit here in front of all your peers that that was 100 percent human piss. Is that fair?
    Luke: ...I'm worried I'll say it was piss and then you'll give me one point anyway.
    Tom G: Well, you got nothing to lose.
    Luke: I don't want to answer any more questions without my lawyer.
  • Nina celebrates as soon as she knocks the bowling ball into the lake, completely failing to notice that it's actually floating. Tom Cashman adds that her bowling ball is still floating in the lake to this day, making her current time 78 days, 9 hours, and 23 minutes.
• The "snap something and crackle something and pop something" task:
  • Luke creatively interprets "pop something" as playing a pop song with Tom Cashman about how he hopes that he won't become bald like Tom Gleeson.
  • Julia's "snap something" is her angrily snapping at Tom C.
    Tom G: I must say, the snap was great. Do you snap at home?
    Julia: Not anymore, sir, 'cause I'm no longer married.
    Tom G: Oh, so your marriage snapped.
    Julia: Ha ha! (laughs and claps with exaggerated faux-enthusiasm)
  • The very first suggestion Danielle makes is shooting a gun. She's then shown bringing out an axe from the shed, happily saying, "I've been wanting to use this every day." According to her, the only reason she ended up not using the axe in the task was that the crew kept banning her from using it.
  • Jimmy decides to snap a framed photo of Tom Gleeson by sitting on it and makes a point of sitting on the half of the photo with his face on it.
    Tom G: You said that sitting on my face would be more satisfying. It was a great snap, but it's not supposed to be satisfying for you. It's supposed to be satisfying for the listener.
    Jimmy: If I did it the other way around, your feet would be going up my arse, which I feel like is what's happening all the time on this show.
  • Nina, continuing her trend of failing to read or fulfill the task's instructions, is the only contestant who doesn't realize that only her first attempts at snapping, crackling, and popping will count in spite of carrying around the task envelope with her the entire time and even saying at one point that "it's really helpful to read the envelope". She (and Tom C) consider her second attempts at them to be much better than her first attempts, but the video playback of her attempts bleeps out all of her second attempts with a giant [SOUND REDACTED] on the screen.
• The two-part task where the contestants first have to thoroughly spread generic yeast extract on the best thing and then completely clean the yeast spread off that thing as fast as possible:
  • Nina chooses a globe as the best thing to cover with the yeast spread and gets thoroughly grossed out when she has to wash off the yeast in a bathtub by the lake because the yeast clumps floating in the bathwater resemble feces. She also hilariously fails to notice that her bowling ball from two tasks ago is still floating in the lake, despite it being only a couple of feet from her location.
  • Luke sticks both his hand and a fake hand into the jar of yeast spread and plays a game of "Which yeast-covered hand is my real hand?" with Tom Cashman, and then convinces Tom to stick his own hand into the yeast and play the same game with him. He fails to completely clean off his hand but claims that the remaining brown stuff on his arm is just the result of a pre-task "bathroom accident".
    Tom G: You know what the best thing is? You invented a task within this task and then you lost at that task.
  • Julia strips down to just a towel and covers her legs and arms with the yeast spread. She also sticks bread onto her yeast-coated limbs for some reason that not even she remembers.
    Tom G: There was a lot going on there...
    Julia: Like why I would take my clothes off on television? Honestly, that's gonna tell you how bad my mental health is.
    Tom G: Can you explain putting the bread on your legs? I don't think that was part of — because you had to cover something?
    Julia: I don't even know where the bread came from. I remember none of that.
    Tom C: You asked me to get it for you from the kitchen.
    Julia: Did I?! High-level trauma.
  • Jimmy covers Tom C's suit with the yeast spread and has to take his suit to the dry cleaners to get it completely clean, which takes over four days. Tom C brings out the suit in the studio for Jimmy to examine and Jimmy notices that it still smells of yeast, but he points out that it's not like they tried sniffing any of the other yeast-covered objects. To which Julia slowly stands up — as the one who covered her own body with the yeast for the task — and stares wordlessly at Tom Gleeson until he awkwardly looks away.
• In the live task where the contestants can only use charades and four-letter words to convey scenes from history, Danielle and Julia's first two scenes both involve Danielle pretend-shooting Julia while repeatedly shouting "BOOM!" at the top of her lungs.

Are You Okay?

• The prize task is "the most pretentious thing". Jimmy's submission is his vinyl record collection, accompanied by his admission that he doesn't even own a record player. It gets five points.
• The task where the contestants have to prevent Tom Cashman from eating from a bucket of popcorn for the longest:
  • Danielle immediately breaks the task's "you may not move the popcorn" stipulation by moving the bucket. She realizes her mistake and moves the bucket back, but then also breaks the "you may not personally attack Tom" stipulation by attacking Tom C with a net.
  • Jimmy surrounds the bucket of popcorn with several random items and also drags the bookshelves closer to the table. None of which stop Tom C from getting to the popcorn in just 13 seconds.
  • Nina comes up with the smart idea of transferring the popcorn into other containers and hiding them... except that not only is this a clear violation of the "you may not move the popcorn" part in the instructions, but she leaves a stray kernel of popcorn on the table which Tom C takes only 14 seconds to eat.
  • Julia and Luke both go with the alternative method of making the popcorn as unappealing to eat as possible. Julia fills the popcorn bucket with orange juice, raw eggs and her own spit and while she considers scratching her butt with her finger and then putting that finger into the bucket to be going too far, she lies to Tom C that she did just that. Unsurprisingly, he decides not to eat the popcorn. Luke fills his own popcorn bucket with what he claims is "toilet water" and then sits on top of it; it's only after Tom C declines to eat the popcorn that he admits he just put regular sink water into the bucket.
    Tom G: Now I feel like I understand, Luke, you being disgusting, but Julia, I feel like this was a bit beneath your standards.
    Julia: Here's the thing — nothing is beneath my standards.
• The entirety of the task that requires the contestants to collect 26 roses by telling Tom Cashman a correct password for each rose. The secret rule was that each password had to begin with a different letter of the alphabet, which all five contestants are hilariously slow in realizing.
  • Nina wrongly thinks she's figured out the rules at one point and goes into what can best be described as a 7-second long Heroic BSoD when Tom C rejects her latest password guess.
  • One of Julia's successful password guesses is "Jesus" which causes her to ask Tom C incredulously, "Have you accepted Jesus?" According to Tom C, she also guessed the c-word four times and needed 87 guesses for the last password after deciding that methodically going through the alphabet would be too boring.
  • Jimmy initially throws out random sentences and questions as password guesses, which devolve into increasingly frustrated rants like "Taskmaster's stupid", "Can I please just figure it out in my brain?", "What's the password, Tom?!", and "Do you even want these flowers?!" as the task goes on. His frustration grows so big that he flops down on the ground at one point and then lets out a loud, annoyed "Goddammit!" at having to get back up after actually getting a correct password.
    Tom G: I must say, after seeing you, Jimmy, on children's TV looking so positive and happy, it was quite satisfying to watch you lose your shit.
  • Luke inexplicably tries to guess The Matrix movie titles 17 times, guesses "poo", "poos", and "poops" in a row just to get Tom C to crack up, and ultimately resorts to playing rock-paper-scissors with Tom to get the last password. Then it's revealed that he unknowingly dropped two roses, disqualifying him from the task, and the only defense he gives for this is, "I have hayfever." ^note After which, Nina pointed out they were plastic roses.
    Tom G: Luke, if people wanted to hack into your social media, I reckon if they just tried out various variations of The Matrix movies they might get straight in there.
    Luke: If they add in 69, they'd be straight through.
  • Danielle's attempt, however, is by far the most Epic Fail. She actually breezes through the first 23 passwords, only to then need nearly two hours to get the last 3 passwords. By the end, Tom C is visibly cramping from having to stand in place for so long and giving Danielle increasingly unsubtle clues that fly right over her head.
    Tom C: These are the correct guesses so far: (recites all of Danielle's 24 correct guesses so far in alphabetical order)
    Danielle: But I've said other things that are alive.
  • When Danielle finally realizes the password system and has a prolonged meltdown over how long it took her to figure it out, Tom C can be seen struggling so hard to not laugh that he's in tears by the end of her task attempt.
  • Tom G then momentarily tricks Danielle into believing that she dropped a rose after all that, just to see the look on her face.
• The disastrous attempts of both teams to spell out "Taskmaster" with their body shadows in the live task. The Bad Improv Group have by far the worst 'letters', but Tom G also observes that Danielle and Julia made a K that "looks like you're in Germany in 1940" and an S that "looks like you've had a very unfortunate accident in Bali".

Lucky With a Sausage

• For the prize task of "the thing someone else will miss the most":
  • Danielle goes above and beyond for her prize by sneaking into Nina's house and stealing one shoe from every pair of shoes she owned. Nina lets out a Big "WHAT?!" upon finding out about this.
  • Luke apologizes to Tom Gleeson before he presents his prize, which is a clump of red hair to represent the Taskmaster's missing hair, but Tom Gleeson turns out to have more than one scathing rebuttal ready for him.
    Tom Gleeson: Well, unfortunately, there's a built-in assumption to what you're doing there, see, 'cause you're presuming I miss it and I don't.
    Luke: What about for the protection from the sun and stuff?
    Tom G: Hat.
    (Luke nods meekly)
    Tom G: Oh, am I worried it will affect my TV career? No.
• The team task, where each team has to "reinvent the wheel" by fitting something to a mini car's axle that isn't a wheel, but is still enough like one for the car to drive on:
  • Luke, when left alone with the car, sits on it and accidentally breaks it. He asks Tom C to not tell his team members what he did, only for Tom C to rat him out to Jimmy at the first opportunity.
  • Danielle and Julia struggle much more on the task than the other team, with Danielle basically doing all the work while Julia just watches her and puts a fake hand inside the car for no real reason. Danielle mentions in the studio that she thought Julia must have been given a bonus task to sabotage her and the two Toms act like they're going to reveal that Julia did indeed have a secret sabotage task before they say that no, Julia was just bad.
• All of the contestants' disguises for the "age or de-age yourself" task:
  • Luke dresses up in a top hat, pink bathrobe, and massive gray beard and talks about his hatred of immigrants and love of negative gearing, Fox, Sky News, and God.
  • Jimmy lies underneath a rug with baby's clothes on it so that he looks like an infant and he cries until Tom C puts a pacifier in his mouth. After the video of Jimmy is shown, Luke comments that either of them could have won if they had created a sperm sample and just put that on the table.
  • Nina dresses up as a cranky old woman in a wheelchair who claims that she doesn't know a Nina and can't calculate her birth year.
  • Julia dresses up as a bald, pacifier-sucking toddler who tries to order Tom C to lift her up onto the table. Tom G says that he initially thought Julia was meant to be a baby, but then she started speaking in complete sentences to Tom C's questions and mentioned that one of her boobs was falling out of her outfit at the end which made him conclude that she was instead an 18-year-old with a weird baby fetish.
  • Danielle dresses up as a 300-year-old woman with facial moles, a gigantic hunchback, and sagging boobs who responds crabbily to all of Tom C's questions. Tom G accepts Danielle's stated age of 300 as a Continuity Nod to her life montage in the first episode showing her dying at 410 years of age.
• During the "save the snag^*Australian slang for sausage from the barbie^*Australian slang for barbecue — but this is actually set up to fool the contestants into believing that they're looking for a sausage in a barbecue when the sausage is really being held by a Barbie doll" task, Tom C makes a "you've hit a snag" pun with almost every contestant, all of whom react with varying levels of annoyance.
  • Danielle in particular gets way too caught up in trying to figure out a pattern in all the non-sausage food items she finds in the decoy barbecues. When she finally finds the Barbie doll with the sausage inside the house, she insists that it's not an actual Barbie and strips it naked to examine its anatomy.
• During the live task in which the contestants have to make their monster meaner, then cuter, then more prestigious, then sexier:
  • Nina gives away that she doesn't really know what "prestigious" means when she tries to explain that she gave her monster a book because "very prestigious people read books; that's how they get their prestigion". When she asks outright what "prestigious" means, Tom G quips, "You'll have plenty of time after this to go and look in a… a book."
  • Luke gives his monster the speech bubble of "I eat kids!" for the "make your monster meaner" part, then crosses out the "eat" and replaces it with "love" for the "make your monster cuter" part. Unfortunately, he forgets to change it for the "make your monster sexier" part and Danielle points out the unfortunate implications of his sexy monster exclaiming that it loves kids.
  • Danielle, meanwhile, draws huge naked boobs hanging from her monster and the speech bubble "I wanna suck ya" for the "make your monster sexier" part.

The Energy of a Sickly Child

• For the "make a dream come true" team task, both teams decide to make a dream of Tom Cashman's come true but in very different ways:
  • Danielle and Julia film a bizarre sequence of Tom C watching Danielle fly a paper dragonfly next to a sleeping Julia's mouth and having a daydream about him remote-controlling the dragonfly into exploring the Taskmaster house and spying on Danielle making out with a photo of Tom G's lips, a discarded bra, and a still-sleeping Julia's mouth while he laughs manically. When Tom G comments that Tom C came across as a creep in that dream, Tom C weakly attempts to defend himself:
    Tom C: I mean, lots of people will often, when they're asked what their favorite superpower would be, they talk about being invisible and sneaking around and looking at people nude and I just wanted a fly when I was twelve to look at what the goss was at my friends' houses and stuff and... (mumbles) Leave me alone.
  • Jimmy, Luke, and Nina, on the other hand, fulfill Tom C's dream of being a Taskmaster contestant by giving him three tasks to do, the last of which is to make his parents proud. When Tom C asks in the studio how many points he got for the tasks, they give him six points which successfully sways Tom C into rating their task more highly than the other team's in spite of him calling Danielle and Julia's dream an "unfortunately very accurate depiction".
• The task where the contestants have to do the most incredible once-in-a-lifetime thing that they've never done before and will never do again:
  • Jimmy pretends to be the superhero Ute Man, who's born crying in an Ute truck and is capable of moving the caravan... a tiny bit with tools after initially failing to move it with his brute strength. He gets disqualified because he made multiple attempts at moving the caravan.
  • Nina makes a Rube Goldberg Device that utterly fails to work. Tom Gleeson is profoundly unimpressed.
    Tom G: Okay, who's next? (audience laughter) ...I mean, what do you want me to say?
    Nina: Good job? Nailed it?
    Tom G: Well, if there's one plus, I'm glad you're never gonna do that ever again in your life, 'cause I don't want to see it again in my life. Even if the machine had worked, the skateboard was gonna go down the ramp and then what was it gonna do at that point?
    Nina: It was gonna go onto the pizza flipper, which was going to... somehow push the ball, which was gonna drop onto the net, which was gonna flip it over.
    Tom G: Rube Goldberg never used the word "somehow" when trying to explain how his machine works.
    Nina: (mockingly) I didn't realize you were old enough to be friends with Rube Goldberg.
    Tom G: Saying I'm old isn't an insult. It just means I own a house and you don't.
  • Julia does donuts in the Ute... very slowly and very widely. Somehow this gets five points.
  • Danielle has a bubble bath with Tom C in the back of the Ute that involves her periodically spraying him with a water gun and a tube she blows through.
  • Luke initially plans to jump into the lake while holding hands with Tom C, but chickens out after he learns just how much bacteria there is in a lake because he doesn't want bacteria to get inside his butthole. He instead opts to dip Tom C and kiss him and they finish things off by drawing each other's faces, with Tom C's portrait showing Luke in the lake shouting "My ass!"
• In the "deliver this pizza to Tom" task:
  • Danielle's backside is shown to be soaking wet at the end of the task and she explains in the studio that she was wet because the boat she was using in the task began to sink and, in a Call-Back to Luke's expressed fear in the previous task about the lake's bacteria getting into his butthole, she remarks that "my arsehole was in heaps of trouble".
  • Jimmy at one point looks for Tom C in the shed and lets out an exaggerated wail upon finding no one in there. He also tries for a Full-Name Ultimatum of "Thomas Majorie Cashman!" before admitting that he doesn't actually know what Tom's middle name is.
  • Nina is the only contestant who figures out right away that the "Tom" across from the lake is actually a decoy and the real Tom C is inside the house — but tragically, she fails to look upstairs during her search of the house and decides that her belief was wrong. After throwing the pizza to the "Tom" across the lake, she happily celebrates, only to then find the real Tom C upstairs. Upon seeing him, she doubles over cry-laughing from shock and then gamely bunny-hops away to retrieve the pizza and deliver it to the actual Tom.
    Tom G: I think the real tragedy of this task is if you believed in yourself, you would have won.
    Nina: I think that's the tragedy of my entire life.
• The live task has the contestants dunk their biscuit into their drink in tune to the music and they can surrender their biscuit at any time by placing it on the plate; if their biscuit breaks, they will be disqualified, and the last person to surrender an intact biscuit wins. Danielle fails to understand the goal of the task and just keeps dunking her biscuit into her drink until it breaks. She realizes her mistake only after Jimmy wins by surrendering his still-unbroken biscuit and remarks, "I just thought you chose to surrender because you were weak."

Dumb in Unison

• The task where the contestants have to tell Tom Cashman their fanciest word and favorite color and then correctly spell their fanciest word using items in their favorite color:
  • Jimmy and Luke, in spite of having the shortest fanciest words out of all the contestants — "palaver" and "acquiesce", respectively — both fail to spell them correctly and get no points. This is in spite of Luke writing out three different spelling attempts of his word — none of which, according to Tom C, were close enough to "acquiesce" for Google to even suggest it as an autocorrect option.
    Jimmy: What I will do straight away is just go and Google the word and realize that I'm wrong.
    Tom C: What will you do if you're wrong?
    Jimmy: If I'm wrong, you'll probably just hear me scream.
    Tom C: Okay.
    Jimmy: (inside the house) Hey Siri, how do you spell "palarva"?
    Siri: P-a-l-a-v-e...
    (Cut to Tom C inside the caravan, listening to Jimmy's anguished screams from the house)
  • Nina gets confused over which hand should be used for the "L" sign, spends at least four minutes cooing over buttons before she remembers that she's being timed, and wonders aloud at one point what an "E" looks like. Despite all of this, she does correctly spell out her word, "encyclopedia", unlike Jimmy and Luke.
  • Danielle, who gave green as her favorite color, easily wins the task by simply plucking out grass from outside the caravan to correctly spell out "lugubrious". She claims that a child she was nannying called her lugubrious and she didn't know what it meant.
  • Julia gives the longest fanciest word, "antidisestablishmentarianism", and the hardest-to-find color, cerise, out of all the contestants. Her 53 minutes spent spelling out the entire word plays out like a Sanity Slippage montage with her repeatedly proclaiming her deep regret and desire to kill herself over this task, making barely-comprehensible paint scribbles that she calls "an aneurysm of insanity", and being reduced at the end to painting two lines on her cheeks and sticking out her tongue to get the last "m" in the word. (Fortunately for her remaining sanity, she did spell out the whole word correctly.)
• The "create and perform a celebratory personal theme tune" task:
  • Nina sings a tune that starts out congratulating herself but soon descends into self-deprecation with her singing that she's lucky she survived because she's so very weak and that she doesn't even know how to play most of the instruments in the room.
  • Luke's personal theme tune opens with him singing that he's never puked and continues with him singing his own praises while Tom C unenthusiastically agrees with them.
    Tom G: Some of your achievements, as listed in the song, were: being worth a gazillion dollars...
    Luke: Yep.
    Tom G: ...and being the greatest person on Earth...
    Luke: Yep.
    Tom G: ...and, um, also visiting Perth twice.
    Luke: I actually visited Perth three times, but I felt like I was getting too arrogant.
  • Danielle sings a very dramatic red-lit tune about how she, among many other things, is desensitized to the smell of dog poo and has the voice of an angel and the ass of a demon. She quickly clarifies the latter by adding on that she has the sexy ass of a demon, not a gross one covered in warts and pus, that's also smooth as marble and soft as a baby dolphin.
• For the "paint an accurate map of Australia on the canvas below from the balcony" task, Danielle and Nina both completely fail to see the canvas on the ground and instead paint on the canvas cloth right at their feet. Tom C successfully baits Nina into saying to the camera, "I've already won the task. Give up, because this is clearly the best thing that's ever happened to this canvas," as the camera pans to the still-blank canvas lying on the ground.
• The live task has the contestants use supplies from a suitcase they picked at random to make their face resemble an Australian icon. Jimmy gets the suitcase with makeup in it which should have made the task easy for him, especially considering that other suitcases contained things like pasta or fruit... but he spends so much time struggling to open the makeup containers that he ends the task with virtually no makeup on his face. His claim that he made himself look like Dame Edna Everage becomes even more laughable when Julia reveals that she did a noticeably better job making herself look like Dame Edna Everage with a wig made of watermelons and glasses made of grapes.

Sorry For Your Loss

• For the "make this doctor look like a fool" task, most of the contestants try to quiz him on stuff he doesn't know but Nina instead just tells him knock-knock jokes that force him to repeatedly say "poo".
• In the "throw the most sensational tantrum" task, Jimmy and Nina both take to acting like spoiled children upset about their food like fish to water (Jimmy's tantrum is also noted to be suspiciously specific for someone with two toddlers). In stark contrast, Luke just says some vaguely threatening things to Tom C and has a Wimp Fight with him, Danielle spends so much time on making a mannequin look like Tom C that she fails to have her actual tantrum before time runs out, and Julia sings about how unfair it is that women get paid 30% less than men because women have to spend more on tanning, waxing, and facials.
• For the task where the contestants have to collect one of something, 2 of something else, 3 of something else, and so on up to 20 and put them in buckets, Luke decides to fill the #13 bucket with compliments by putting his face into the bucket and telling it nice things. When he receives the second part of the task, which is to put all the things he collected back, he decides to take back his 13 compliments by insulting the bucket 13 times with things like "eat shit", "you're the worst bucket of all time", and "you'll die alone". Then Tom C points out that the task didn't actually tell him to collect 13 things (the instructions covered all numbers between 1 and 20 except for 13), causing Luke to lament that he destroyed that bucket's confidence for no reason.
• The task where the contestants had to take a secret photograph of Tom Gleeson without him noticing:
  • Jimmy's photo is a clearly-photoshopped image of Tom G in front of a bikini waxing salon.
    Tom G: Are you implying I went to that waxing salon and got waxed and then I walked out and my head was slightly larger than it should be?
  • Nina's photo is of her giving a thumbs-up behind Tom G's back. She then says that she thought Tom G might be upset by this task and reveals that she took a second photo of Tom Cashman with her flipping him the bird behind his back.
  • Julia goes into great detail about all the effort she put into tracking down Tom G's location, finding him at the airport, getting on the same plane as him, and following him all the way to his hotel, with Tom G looking increasingly unnerved the longer her story goes on.

Don't Ask Me What a JC Is

• During the prize task where the contestants have to submit the best thing from the Taskmaster's year of birth, Nina brings up the cocky $50 bet she made with Tom Cashman in the second episode that she would win Taskmaster. Since she's resoundingly lost the bet, she gives Tom C a jar of money as her payment for the bet — but as a tie-in to the prize task, she put only $49.90 in the jar and submitted the remaining 10 cents as her prize with the reasoning that this makes the 10-cent coin the best thing for Tom C to get. To which Tom C brings up the logical question of what happens if she doesn't win the episode and the 10 cents go to someone else instead. Danielle ends up winning the episode, but she makes sure to toss the coin to Nina who hands it over to Tom C.
• Nina's incompetence at the tasks is so well-established by this point that Tom Gleeson expresses astonishment at her actually doing well at the "stick a pencil in this aubergine from the furthest distance" task.
  Tom G: It was classic Nina at first: you lost the pencil, you broke the eggplant, you wasted time getting a hat you didn't need... but then you completed the task! What is going on?!
• The "make the best miniature of yourself" task:
  • Nina at first tries to melt jelly into Play-Doh, which predictably doesn't work very well.
    Nina: I've developed a technique. It's called the Oyama Technique.
    Tom C: Why is it called that?
    Nina: Because it's full of holes and it doesn't work.
  • Luke, instead of crafting a miniature doll of himself like everyone else does, takes a photo of himself and shrinks it down to a tiny, barely visible dot on the tablet screen. Then he gets the follow-up team task: film the most phenomenal fight scene starring your miniatures. His team does come up with a creative way to include his "miniature" in the fight scene by having his zoomed-in face show up on the tablet screen as the final boss and Nina defeats him by pushing the tablet's power button.
• During the "open the golden present" task, Julia initially thinks that the letters in the soup are spelling out "Satan" in spite of the obvious Christmas theme of the task. She also grows so fed up with Tom C over the course of the task that when she's prompted to tell him three good things she's done this year, she opens with "I have kept my cool when talking to stupid people" while staring directly at him. When he reveals that the golden present was under his hat the whole time, she says, "I knew I should have punched you" and flips him the bird when he suggests that she might want to use the stress ball inside the golden present.
• The live task has the contestants try to get a slice of pickle to stick inside a bullseye, with them needing to read aloud an apology from the apology jar if their pickle lands in the outermost ring. All the apologies are hilariously insulting towards the apologizing contestants themselves, forcing the contestants to say things like "Please forgive me for being such a big pile of shit. Only the biggest pile of shit in the world could screw up a throw this bad. And that's me. That's who I am."