"You look like a future pedophile in this picture, #1... #2, it doesn't even have a first name. It just says McLovin!"
- This scene:Jules: Plus, you scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is, is that it's located on my cock!
- Fogell unveils his brand-new fake ID to Seth and Evan, on which he claims he's a 25-year-old Hawaiian named... McLovin.Evan: It's up to you, Fogell. This guy [liquor store clerk] is either gonna think "Here's another kid with a fake ID", or "Here's McLovin, the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor". Okay? So what's it gonna be?
Fogell: ...I am McLovin! Yeah.
Seth: No, you're not! No one's McLovin! McLovin's never existed because it's a MADE-UP DUMB FUCKING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU FUCK!- Earlier in that scene, when Fogell's explaining why he chose McLovin:Fogell: Well, it was either that or Mohammed.(Seth gapes for a moment, then his eyes briefly bug out)Seth: Why the fuck would it be between that and Mohammed?! Why didn't you just pick a common name like a normal person?Fogell: Mohammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.note
- Earlier in that scene, when Fogell's explaining why he chose McLovin:
- The Heartwarming Moment near the end with Seth and Evan in their sleeping bags:Evan: I love you. I'm not embarrassed, why can't we say it more often?
Seth: *pokes Evan's nose* Boop-boop-boop... - Seth telling Evan about his dick drawing problem he had in the 4th grade.
- "It's no big deal, apparently like ten percent of all kids do it..."
- It's been theorized that around 10% of the US population is gay.
- "It's no big deal, apparently like ten percent of all kids do it..."
- Seth's fantasization as he goes into the store to buy alcohol.
- Fogell mocking Seth when he comes out of the grocery store empty handed:Fogell: Where's all the stolen liquor Danny Ocean? You hide it up your butt? (laughs)
Seth: Piss off! I was gonna do it but there was a security breach.
- Fogell mocking Seth when he comes out of the grocery store empty handed:
- The girl Seth was dancing with at the wild party where they try to steal beer from had her period on Seth's pants. Later, she got drunk and blames him for it and quickly calls the cops on them as they run away.
- As well as everyone at the party making fun of the blood on Seth's pants, which, when he's trying to go to the bathroom to wash it off, ends with the memetic "Fuck me, right?!"
- Officers Slater and Michaels, upon hearing sirens in the background of a scene (bonus points for not resorting to the predictable punchline of one of them realizing that they're the cops and forgetting about it):"SHIT, THE COPS!"
- They're morons, and drunk out of their minds. Of course, that just makes it funnier.
- Also, as they crash the party."I'm assuming you all have guns and crack!""Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law!"
- This scene:Greg: What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points!Evan: Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. It's soccer.Greg: Fuck you, man.Seth: Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again?Greg: That was like eight years ago, asshole!Seth: People don't forget.
- Seth tells Fogell that his picture on the fake ID makes him look like a future pedophile.
- It is worth noting that this particular line wasn't in the script and was ad-libbed by Jonah Hill.
- Seth mocks Evan for trying to bring lube.Seth: What do you think Becca's gonna be psyched that you bought a bottle of lube? "Oh, Evan, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy! I never would've been able to handle your fucking four-inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube!"
- When Seth is (kind of) running track and field, an amputee laps him.Amputee: Pussy~!"
- When the cops were chasing Seth, Evan and Fogell.MCLOVIN?! WHYYYY?!
- Becca stripteasing was pretty hilarious, as she was drunk and silly. And those weird "doopy doopy doo" noises she was making. Evan was understandably awkward.
- "Fuck my life..."
- The montage of Seth doing really vulgar pantomimes behind Jules.
- Same scene, where we first meet Fogell.
- "Oh my God...it's in!"
- The scene where the cops and Fogell destroy the cop car, then allow Fogell to shoot a gun at it. Fogell proceeds to flip it Gangsta Style and yell "BREAK YO'SELF, FOO!" before firing off rounds.
- "I've got a bo-ner!"
- "Evan, I'm so wet!" "Oh yeah, they told us that would happen in health class".
- The first appearance of the two cops.
- Followed by their bungling attempt to catch a drunk.
- Immediately succeeded by one of them ignoring a very distressing alert.
- Followed by their bungling attempt to catch a drunk.
- The scene where Slater and Michaels interrogate the liquor store clerk after she gets robbed. They need to find out what the robber looked like, but they're afraid to ask the clerk (an African-American woman) what his ethnicity was, because they don't want to seem racist.Slater: Ethnically, I mean... I mean, was he like us or...
Clerk: ...A woman? Female? Is that what you're asking?
Slater: No, I mean... I was saying... Was he, like, A-African—?
Clerk: "African"?
Michaels: "African". (makes a note on his notepad)
Clerk: No. He was American, and he was like you. He looked just like you!
Michaels: He was Jewish! Odd crime for a Jew to commit...
Slater: Yeah, they're usually pretty docile.
Michaels: Okay, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.
Clerk: No! No, you don't! Is that what I said? Is that what you heard me say? I said he looked like you! Do you look like an African Jew?
Michaels: ...No, I look like a cop.
Slater: Yeah. - Seth passing out while talking to Jules, and on the way down he ends up headbutting her right in the eye.
