- On Morgan's first appearance:Have you ever been approached by a grim-looking man, carrying a naked sword with a blade about ten miles long in his hand, in the middle of the night, beneath the stars on the shores of Lake Michigan? If you have, seek professional help.
- When Harry leaves the wreck of the elevator he's gone a little doolally from the shock of Not Being Dead, and starts screaming at the sky in front of two surprised paramedics."Take that, Victor Shadowman!" I shouted. "Hah! Hah! Give me your best shot, you murderous bastard! I'm going to take my staff and shove it down your throat!"
- At the end of the book, Harry is cornered in a kitchen by a horde of rapidly growing scorpions, one of which nearly killed him earlier in the book, with only a broom to defend himself. How does he survive? He casts a spell—one he came up with as a young apprentice to help with the housework—to make the broom sweep the scorpions away and off a balcony while they're still small. It's topped off with this line: "I'm pretty sure I swept up all the dirt too. When I do a spell, I do it right."
- Particularly funny in hindsight, as one wonders what either Justin or Ebenezar would have said about it.
- All the hijinks with the love potion (doubling as a bit of Lampshade Hanging):Susan: Your mouth says no but this says yes.Harry: That thing is always saying something stupid.
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