Funny / Spider-Man/Deadpool

• Spider-Man's reaction when he first sees Deadpool is "No... just... No."
• A closer look at Spider-Man's phone in one scene shows that he and Deadpool took selfies together.
• Spider-Man and Deadpool's opening banter:
  Deadpool: I'm just saying, it was a really convincing levitating kitten. If you saw it, you would have been like "Damn. That's the most sincere and lovable floating cat head I've ever had a chat with." And most importantly, I was like 85% sober-
  Spider-Man: Deadpool.
  Deadpool: Yes, Spider-Man?
  Spider-Man: Take all of those... "words" swirling inside the toxic waste vat you call your brain and suffocate them. Every last syllable. Kill your words and just. shut. up!
  Deadpool: But-
  Spider-Man: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!
  • Shortly before defeating Dormammu, the Dimension Lord himself gets in on it. Even though he isn't actually Dormammu:
  Dormammu: You infinitesimal specks have me truly confounded...especially the Spider. There was a time being 'Spider-Man' meant something. Quite frankly, I don't understand why you're slumming with...that.
• Spider-Man's reaction when he realizes he's starting to like Deadpool: "I need so much therapy."
• Pretty even between this and Ho Yay is Itsy-Bitsy giving Deadpool such a fright he clings onto Spider-Man who holds him bridal style.
• Spider-Man wonders if people can change, or if they're locked into who they are. Deadpool admits he doesn't know. They talk about the things they try to fill the holes in their lives, and Spider-Man hugs Deadpool vowing to repay him for the sacrifice he'd made for him. And Deadpool's closing line just kills the mood.
  Deadpool: Anytime you need hole-filling...
  Spider-Man: Annnnd you ruined it.
  • Made funnier by the fact that, given his face, Deadpool may or may not have gotten a bit too worked up.
• Captain Marvel identifies Tommy Wiseau as a wanted alien criminal, whom the Guardians of the Galaxy have been pursuing for years.
• Deadpool and Spiderman are teleported to Dormammu's dimension, guarded by Mindless Ones. Deadpool's plan is to stuff them with brains he stole from a morgue.
  Deadpool: Behold! I give you... THE MINDFUL ONES!
  Mindful One: Um... So... we were... fighting, I guess? For some reason? Because...?
  Spider-Man: No. It does not work like that.
  Mindful One: I know, right? Are we even getting paid for this soul crushing?
  Spider-Man: No. No. No. Everything is so wrong with this.
  Deadpool: Cover me, Spide-kick! You get a brain! You get a brain! You get a- wait. That's a grenade, sorry... You get two brains!
  Dormammu: Mindless ones! I command you to flay the skin from-
  Mindful One: Where was "flaying" in the job description?
  Mindful One: How do you expect me to perform at my full potential without some encouragement? A simple thank you would suffice... or a raise.
  Mindful One: That guy's head just exploded and I bet you don't even know his name. It was Carl. Carl!
  Deadpool: Boom! We overthrew Hell with the discarded brains of entitled millennials! Congratulations, you got the job!
  Spider-Man: This is not how any of this works. Seriously. This is nonsense. I drowned. That's it. I drowned in Hydro-Man and this is all in my- job interview?
• When it's discovered that Mysterio is behind the illusion on the webware tech, Deadpool, the man that he is, pulls a Dynamic Entry. Cue Spider-Man and Deadpool arguing about the phrase "Hit it".
• Deadpool sets up a double date for him and Spidey... who turn out to be Lady Thor and a succubus. They start fighting, Deadpool tries to direct them to the mud pit specially prepared for this purpose, the girls stop fighting when they realize they were called in the hopes of seeing them mud-wrestling, and immediately threaten Deadpool and Spidey into a dance-off (while in their boxers).
• After Deadpool Kills Peter Parker, he finds out that his soul isn’t in hell. After checking that the body was where he left it, Deadpool has Shiklah revive him… and then kills him again.
  Shiklah:I brought him back from the dead.
  Deadpool: You sure did, Honey! Maximum effort!
  Shiklah:I brought him back from the dead So you could shoot him in the head? again?
  Deadpool: Well, no, see This time is different. I know it’s technical, but last time I used a pistol. This time I used a 44 gauge double shotgun
  Shiklah: Dare I ask why?
  Deadpool: Are you familiar with the phrase? “Have you tried turning it off and then on again?” It’s the opposite of that.
  Shiklah: Sometimes I seriously question my life choices.
• Patient Zero finally takes off his mask to reveal his identity... and neither Spidey or Deadpool have any idea who he is. Followed by a familiar homage.
  Patient Zero: You seriously haven't figured it out?
  Deadpool: Freddy Krueger's love child with Abby from Dance Moms.
  Spider-Man: Deadpool's left buttcheek from an alternate dimension given human form.
  Deadpool: Chad from The Bachelor after one too many flaming shots.
  Spider-Man: Every "before" picture for Proactiv merged into a walking acne culture.

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