Funny / Spider-Men

  • 616 Peter vs. Miles in Issue 2. All of it. And especially the part where Peter complains about Miles having a cooler costume than him.
  • In the penultimate issue, we get this little nugget:
    Miles: Hey, do you have a Nick Fury where you come from?
    Peter: Oh yes.
    Nick Fury: Yeah? What's he like?
    Peter: Uh, white.
    Nick Fury: Sorry to hear that.
  • Upon meeting Tony Stark for the first time, 616 Peter comments that 616 Tony has already stopped drinking. Fury immediately remarks that he already likes 616 Tony better.
  • Peter's final advice to Miles:
    Peter: Don't let anyone clone you. Seriously. And only date one girl at a time. And—and if you find out a guy named Doctor Octopus is going to marry my Aunt May — stop it. And don't lend anyone named Wolverine or Mockingbird money. You'll never see it again. And once you beat up the bad guy, leave the crime scene as soon as possible, because they'll try to make you clean it up. And wash your costume, like, daily, because it will get funky and people will make fun of you.
    • And then Ultimate Iron Man chimes in that, if anyone's interested, he'd give the opposite advice on every subject.
    • Not to mention the advice about Dr. Octopus and Wolverine is rather pointless given that Doc Ock and Wolverine are both dead in the Ultimate Universe.
  • 616 Peter's reaction to learning Ultimate Peter used to date Kitty Pryde.
  • "Hands off the portal, Stark." "I'm just admiring it." "Admire it from over there."
  • The Reveal that Ultimate Mysterio is actually a robot controlled by mainstream Mysterio is pretty hilarious in just how anticlimactic it is.