- Two guys dressing up as women, and playing it for laughs? Awesome!
- When the band is rehearsing, Jerry gets so distracted watching Sugar shake her ass as she sings that it takes him a while to notice that he accidentally spun his bass around 180 degrees and has spent the last several bars enthusiastically playing on the bare wooden back.
- Joe apologizing because the motor boat will only move backwards. "I'm afraid it may take a little longer, it seems to be stuck in reverse."
- And then a drunk Osgood being able to drive it forwards with no trouble whatsoever.
- The "Cary Grant" accent.
- Joe frantically transitioning from "Josephine" to "Shell Oil" for his date with Sugar and remembering at the last possible second to take off his earrings.
- "Shell Oil" fumbling his way around Osgood's yacht like an idiot, trying to keep up the guise to Sugar that he owns it.
- "Another nice thing about this yacht, lots of closet space!"
- Spats to a coin-flipping wise guy: "Where did you pick up that cheap trick?"
- "Daphne" in the berth, with the lady band members passing food around and a corkscrew's been brought. "Girls, keep it down! You'll wake up the neighbours downstairs, now Josephine... WATCH THAT CORKSCREW!"
- Jerry dancing an ecstatic tango on the bed tells Joe about his engagment.
Jerry: I'm engaged!
Joe: Congratulations, who's the lucky girl?
Jerry: ...I am!
Joe: But you're not a girl, you're a guy! And why would a guy wanna marry a guy?
- Followed by:
- And a moment later:
Joe: Jerry, there's another problem. Like, what are you going to do on your honeymoon?
- And after that:
Joe: Jerry, listen to me! There are laws, there are conventions; it's just not done!Jerry: Joe, this may be my last chance to marry a millionaire!
- The reason Lemmon is shaking the maracas after each punchline was because the director knew the lines would be funny, and wanted to pause between the banter so people wouldn't laugh over the next lines.
- "I tell you, it's a whole different sex!"
- As Spats' assassin climbs into the birthday cake, one of the officials asks him not to make too big a mess when he jumps out, because he promised his kids a piece of the cake.
- The last lines of the movie:
Jerry: Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all.
Osgood: Why not?
Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
Osgood: Doesn't matter.
Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!
Osgood: I don't care.
Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.
Osgood: I forgive you.
Jerry: (Tragically) I can never have children!
Osgood: We can adopt some.
Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood!
(Jerry finally gives up and pulls off his wig)
Jerry: Ohh... I'm a man!
Osgood: Well...Nobody's perfect!
(Jerry pauses and gives Osgood a perplexed look)