Stuart: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders, before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face. *whiny voice* "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ooohh!"
Charlie: Dad... how can you hate "The Colonel"?
Stuart: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ye crave it fortnightly, SMARTARSE!
(about haggis) "I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare."