Funny: Scrooged

  • When Frank's confronted by his zombie boss he comes up with an elaborate rationalization.
    Frank Cross: "You're an hallucination... brought on by alcohol. Russian vodka... poisoned by Chernobyl!"
    • Lew talking about his supposed status.
    Lew: I had it all. I was a captain of industry; feared by men, adored by women.
    Frank: Adored! Let's be honest, Lew. You paid for the women!
  • The entire restaurant scene.
    • After Frank douses the waiter he thought was on fire: "I'm sorry. You know, I thought you were Richard Pryor."
  • "It's a TOASTER!"
    • "IT'S A BONE!!!"
  • "I'm only four!"
  • "The bitch hit me with a toaster!"
  • Elliot Loudermilk's phone conversation with Rhinelander during his and Frank's hijacking of the Scrooge special:
    Rhinlander: I want to talk to the IDIOT who put that MORON on the air!!
    Elliot: Oh, uh, Bryce Cummings is the idiot sir, but uh... (turns to face tied and gagged Bryce Cummings) he can't talk to you right now because he's sorta tied up. Uh-huh. Oh, in fact, he just said that you were a flatulating butthead?
    Rhinelander: A Butthead?!
    Elliot: He said he never felt that way about a man before, but he really likes you in a certain way...
    • Just before that, when Frank and Elliot reconcile near the end of the film.
    Frank: Hey. Are you glad to see me, or is this a shotgun in your pocket? (toss gun away; it fires)
    Elliot: (meeps in confusion as Frank grabs him by the arms and swings him around the room)
    Frank: Here's the deal. I'll rehire you at twice your original salary, and make you my vice president of programing. And I'll give you an office up here. Would you like my office?
    Elliot: No, I don't like your office.
    Frank: Ha! That's SO YOU!
  • The plaques of the word "cross" being defined as "A thing they nail people on".
  • The trio of homeless people at Operation Reachout who mistake Frank for Richard Burton (actually kind of an in-joke, as Bill Murray strongly resembles Burton), Frank's impersonation of Burton, and the line, "Now beat it before I beat you!"
  • Stressed from the day he's been having, Frank tries to fix himself a drink with vodka and cola. He ends up with about a teaspoon of cola in a big glass of vodka.
  • All the parody commercials in the beginning! The best probably being Frank's "improved" commercial for Scrooge which naturally has nothing to do with the special.
    • Elliot's horrified reaction to said Scrooge commercial: "That thing looked like The Manson Family Christmas Special!"
  • Frank stealing a cab from an old lady on the way to the "Humanitarian Of The Year" awards.