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troperville

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• Pullo and Vorenus are marching back from Gaul, about to return to Rome.
  Pullo: Here I come, girls! I'm gonna drink all the wine, smoke all the smoke, and fuck every whore in the city!
  Vorenus: Show some dignity! You're under the standard!
  Pullo: Me? What about him?
  (He looks over, and sees their commander Mark Antony having rough sex with a woman behind a tree)
  Vorenus: He's not, uh...under the standard.
• Mark Antony's rather strong pronouncement that he wants to stay in bed...
  I'm not rising out of bed until I fuck someone.
  • Mirrored by Atia's "fine fine" answer:
  Fine, fine. Merula, fetch that German slut from the kitchen.
• Pullo and Vorenus find that Pompey's troops have stopped defending the city.
  Vorenus: This can only mean that the Republic has fallen!
  Pullo: And yet, the sky is still above us and the earth still below. Strange.
  Vorenus: If Mars were watching, he would never allow such dishonor.
  Pullo: Maybe he was having a crap and missed it.
• Pullo giving Vorenus romantic advice.
  Pullo: She's got this little spot right above her cunny, like a little bump. Now, attend to that little spot, and she'll open up to you like a flower.
  Vorenus (horrified): How do you know this of her?
  Pullo: All women have them! Ask anyone!