History Funny / Rome

18th Jan '16 2:21:55 PM outlander2012
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-->'''Cicero''': ''[moving to leave]'' [[BlantantLies A pleasure as always]].
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-->'''Cicero''': ''[moving to leave]'' [[BlantantLies [[BlatantLies A pleasure as always]].
18th Jan '16 2:21:05 PM outlander2012
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-->'''Cicero''': ''[inspecting the paper]'' It appears to be a list of [[ArmyOfThievesAndWhores every dishonest rascal in the city]]. -->'''Antony''': Very droll. It is a list of next year's election candidates drawn up by our beloved Caesar just before he was taken from us. Posca found it amongst his papers. -->'''Cicero''': Oh, ''another'' lucky find? [[ForgingTheWill You are prodigious, Posca]]. -->'''Antony''': I want ''your'' endorsement of the names. For the sake of unity, amity, etc, etc. -->'''Cicero''': Isn't that just a little ''too'' brazen? Who would believe Caesar chose such wretches? -->'''Antony''': Surely you don't think these men paid me to put their names on the list? -->'''Cicero''': Not at all...I expect they paid ''Posca''. -->'''Antony''': So? What's the problem? -->'''Cicero''': My endorsement will be worthless. People will merely assume I've been intimidated by you. -->'''Antony''': Are you not intimidated? -->'''Cicero''': [[ImNotAfraidOfYou Not especially]]. [[RefugeInAudacity At present you cannot afford to kill me; you need me to run the Senate]]. -->'''Antony''': ''Today'' I need you. ''Tomorrow''... -->'''Cicero''': Then tomorrow I shall worry. Today, [[BullyingADragon Today, I suggest you let me strike the worst scoundrels off this list, ''then'' I will endorse it]]. -->'''Antony''': ''[beaten] Fine''. Do as you like! -->'''Cicero''': ''[moving to leave]'' [[BlantantLies A pleasure as always]].
18th Jan '16 2:09:08 PM outlander2012
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* Cicero could win a gold medal in SnarkToSnarkCombat. Consider the below exchange between himself and Mark Antony at Antony's office. -->'''Mark Antony''': Why are you here? -->'''Cicero''': ''You'' sent for me. -->'''Antony''': Oh yes, that. Show him. ''[Posca hands Cicero a roll of paper]'' * Mark Antony and Posca counting the cost of losing the Battle of Mutina to Octavian -->'''Mark Antony''': How many dead, all told? -->'''Centurion''': 8000, give or take, sir. -->'''Posca''': ''Eight thousand''?! -->'''Mark Antony''': Oh do cheer up! ''You're'' still alive, aren't you?! -->'''Posca''': I do hope so! If this is the afterlife, it is ''extremely'' disappointing!

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* On the other side of the battlefield, you have Brutus and Cassius engaging in some CasualDangerDialog as Brutus remembers that the date is Cassius's birthday and Cassius snarkily accepts his apology for forgetting the cake, making Brutus promise to make him an extra large one next year.
18th Jan '16 6:57:33 AM outlander2012
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--->Fine, fine. Merula, fetch that German slut from the kitchen.
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--->Fine, fine. Merula, fetch that German slut from the kitchen. ''[addressing the slaves fixing up her funeral attire]'' And get it right, or you'll be ''next'' for the King of Goats there! ** And this exchange between the two just beforehand: -->'''Antony''': I've never fucked a woman in a funeral dress before. -->'''Atia''': Nor shall you now. -->'''Antony''': That's a shame. It'll have to be Merula then. ''[Merula starts in shock]'' Come here, old girl! Jump on! -->'''Atia''': She'd eat you alive!
10th Jan '16 10:34:41 PM damus2300
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* The news reader noticing no one's listening to him because of the curfew he just announced.
3rd Jan '16 3:31:32 AM damus2300
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* Vorenus, frustrated that he needs to go back to the army for money, took out his anger on a soldier for whistling. -->"You're on duty!"
23rd Nov '15 3:26:54 PM Zmflavius
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* Atia and Octavia arguing over who will kill who when their house was under siege by Pompeii's men in episode 3.
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* Atia and Octavia arguing over who will kill who when their house was under siege by Pompeii's Pompey's men in episode 3.
4th Jul '15 10:26:29 AM TrollBrutal
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** While he and the madam are waiting for Octavian to finish his business, Pullo starts to hesitantly begins to ponder, "I don't suppose, seeing as I'm with the quality..." (meaning the upper class)
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** While he and the madam are waiting for Octavian to finish his business, Pullo starts to hesitantly begins to ponder, "I don't suppose, seeing as I'm with the quality..." (meaning the upper class)
4th Jul '15 7:18:17 AM TrollBrutal
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* Pullo goes to a high class brothel to find a girl for Octavian and is outraged by their prices. But while he and the madam are waiting for Octavian to finish his business, Pullo starts to hesitantly suggest that "as long as he's with the quality" (meaning the upper class): -->'''Madam:''' (without looking up from her ledger) Not a chance! ** Also:
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* Atia arranges Pullo goes will be taking Octavian to a high class brothel to find a girl for Octavian and is outraged by their prices. But while he and the madam are waiting for Octavian to finish his business, Pullo starts to hesitantly suggest that "as long as he's with the quality" (meaning the upper class): -->'''Madam:''' (without looking up from her ledger) Not a chance! ** Also:girl.

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* ** At first, Pullo goes to a high class brothel to find a girl for Octavian is shooed away because it's not "an infantry fuckhole", and then he is outraged by their prices. prices, "1000" --->'''Pullo:''' Gerrae! I could have half the whores in Narbo for that, and their mothers.\\ '''Madam:''' We're not in ''Narbo'', whatever that might be.\\ '''Pullo:''' All right, my dove. We'll pay. But while the girl better fuck him like Helen of Troy with her ass on fire, or I'll know the reason why. ** While he and the madam are waiting for Octavian to finish his business, Pullo starts to hesitantly suggest that "as long begins to ponder, "I don't suppose, seeing as he's I'm with the quality" quality..." (meaning the upper class): -->'''Madam:''' class) --->'''Madam:''' (without looking up from her ledger) Not a chance! ** Also:chance!

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* Pullo goes to Antony takes an assistant... a high class brothel to find a girl for Octavian dwarf dressed in black and is outraged by their prices. But while he and the madam are waiting for Octavian to finish his business, Pullo starts to hesitantly suggest that "as long as he's with the quality" (meaning the upper class): -->'''Madam:''' (without looking up from her ledger) Not a chance! ** Also:called Cato in mockery.
15th Jun '15 2:47:07 PM TrollBrutal
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* Antony is given a strict budget to recover Caesar's eagle. Half a talent. When he debriefs Vorenus on the mission, Antony steals half of it without a second though, and meassures the weight of the money bag with his hand to make sure he's being rapacious enough.
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* Antony is given a strict budget to recover Caesar's eagle. Half a talent. When he debriefs Vorenus on the mission, Antony steals half of it without a second though, thought, and meassures the weight of the money bag with his hand to make sure he's being rapacious enough.
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