Funny / Police Squad!

  • In "Rendezvous at Big Gulch (Terror in the Neighborhood)", Stella tries to off Frank, but he thwarts her. The phone rings and it's her husband, Dutch, who asks if she killed Frank for him. Frank instructs her on what to say.
    Frank: "Everything is taken care of."
    Stella: Everything is taken care of.
    Dutch: That's my girl.
    Frank: "I'd sure like to see you."
    Stella: I'd sure like to see you.
    Dutch: Sure thing, baby. You still love me?
    Frank: "Of course I love you."
    Stella: Of course I love you.
    Dutch: You don't sound like you mean it, lambikins.
    Frank: "Of course I mean it, lambikins."
    Stella: Of course I mean it, lambikins.
    Dutch: Do you really, binky poo?
    Frank: "More than anything, schnooky lumps."
    Stella: More than anything, schnooky lumps.
    Dutch: Schnooky lumps? I like that. Schnooky lumps. You never called me that before. What happened last night to bring this on?
    Frank: "When you held me in your manly arms and crushed me to your lips, I discovered what it meant to be a real woman. When I think of your handsome face, your cruel lips, your strong chin, the way you touch, the way you smother me with kisses-"
    Dutch: (clearly tired of waiting) Uh, honey, I gotta go.
  • A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class, and imitate them.
  • Drebin in Dutch Gunderson's office:
    Dutch: "Who are you, and how did you get in here?"
    Drebin: "I'm a locksmith, and...I'm a locksmith."
  • The Japanese garden, aka a bunch of Japanese people standing stock still in pots.
  • A meta one. They couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for Happy Birthday, so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to the tune of Happy Birthday. It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into Narm Charm.