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* A meta one. The VHS release of the show couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for "Happy Birthday", so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to a SuspiciouslySimilarSong to "Happy Birthday." It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.

to:

* A meta one. The VHS release of the show couldn't use the, copyrighted, the (then-)copyrighted lyrics for "Happy Birthday", "[[HappyBirthdayToYou Happy Birthday]]", so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to a SuspiciouslySimilarSong to "Happy Birthday." It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.
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'''Frank:''' No, no, wait a minute. He was killed by a left-wing insurgence from Paraguay!\\

to:

'''Frank:''' No, no, wait a minute. He was killed by a left-wing insurgence from Paraguay!\\UsefulNotes/{{Paraguay}}!\\



'''Frank:''' No... ''Bolivia!''\\

to:

'''Frank:''' No... ''Bolivia!''\\''UsefulNotes/{{Bolivia}}!''\\
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'''Ed:''' I got it! He was traded to the Cubs for Reggie Jackson.\\

to:

'''Ed:''' I got it! He was traded to the Cubs [[UsefulNotes/MajorLeagueBaseball Cubs]] for Reggie Jackson.\\

Added: 4

Changed: 8

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'''Dutch''': ''(clearly tired of waiting)'' Uh, honey, I gotta go.

to:

'''Dutch''': '''Dutch:''' ''(clearly tired of waiting)'' Uh, honey, I gotta go.



--> '''Frank''': Went down the wrong pipe.

to:

--> '''Frank''': -->'''Frank:''' Went down the wrong pipe.



--> '''Frank''': ''(narrating)'' Time was running out for Terri. Ed and I drove around for hours for no particular reason. We came up empty.

to:

--> '''Frank''': -->'''Frank:''' ''(narrating)'' Time was running out for Terri. Ed and I drove around for hours for no particular reason. We came up empty.empty.
----
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'''Drebin:''' I'm a locksmith, and...I'm a locksmith.

to:

'''Drebin:''' I'm a locksmith, and... I'm a locksmith.
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'''Frank:''' No, can't say that I do... I did live with a guy once... But that was just for a couple of years. The usual slurs, rumors, innuendo, people didn't understand. Ran him outta town like a common pygmy...\\

to:

'''Frank:''' No, can't say that I do... I did live with a guy once... But that was just for a couple of years. [[HoYay The usual slurs, rumors, innuendo, people didn't understand.understand]]. Ran him outta town like a common pygmy...\\



'''Frank:''' ...''Sure'', he was a physical education major but he had a ''mind''! He could ''think'', wasn't ''all'' muscle, ''all'' body, ''all'' sinewy limbs... He got married, you know, later. Had three kids. Never cared for her. Sent a nice gift, never got a note...\\

to:

'''Frank:''' ...''Sure'', he was a physical education major but he had a ''mind''! He could ''think'', wasn't ''all'' muscle, ''all'' body, ''all'' sinewy limbs... He got married, you know, later. Had three kids. [[TheBeard Never cared for her.her]]. Sent a nice gift, never got a note...\\
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''(Mrs. Twice brawls her eyes out)''

to:

''(Mrs. Twice brawls bawls her eyes out)''
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''''(Mrs. Twice cries even harder)''\\

to:

''''(Mrs.''(Mrs. Twice cries even harder)''\\



''''(Mrs. Twice brawls her eyes out)''

to:

''''(Mrs.''(Mrs. Twice brawls her eyes out)''

Added: 1974

Changed: 1

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* From "A Substantial Gift (The Broken Promise)"
** Ed and Frank visit Ralph Twice's widow:
--->'''Frank:''' We're sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then.
*** We then get this
---->'''Mrs. Twice:''' Do you know what it's like to be married to a wonderful man for 14 years?\\
'''Frank:''' No, can't say that I do... I did live with a guy once... But that was just for a couple of years. The usual slurs, rumors, innuendo, people didn't understand. Ran him outta town like a common pygmy...\\
'''Ed:''' Did he have any enemies?\\
'''Mrs. Twice:''' ''(sobs)'' Well, the democrats didn't like him.\\
'''Frank:''' ...''Sure'', he was a physical education major but he had a ''mind''! He could ''think'', wasn't ''all'' muscle, ''all'' body, ''all'' sinewy limbs... He got married, you know, later. Had three kids. Never cared for her. Sent a nice gift, never got a note...\\
'''Ed:''' Now, I know this is a long shot, but did he ever eat chop suey?\\
'''Mrs. Twice:''' ''(crying)'' No, no he never did.\\
'''Ed:''' It was just a hunch.\\
'''Frank:''' ...I ''told'' him she was wrong. And that youngest boy, just like his father. Football hero. Lived with him for a year. It wasn't the same... ''(wistfully)'' Can't go back.
*** And finally:
---->'''Mrs. Twice:''' ''(crying)'' And what do I tell my daughter?!\\
'''Ed:''' Yeah, you gonna have to tell her something... Tell her he went on a long trip.\\
'''Frank:''' No, wait a minute. How about a big monster came and took him to Daddy Heaven?\\
''(Mrs. Twice starts crying again)''\\
'''Frank:''' Nah...\\
'''Ed:''' How about this; he threw himself on a grenade to save the battalion? Yeah, that's it!\\
'''Frank:''' No, no, wait a minute. He was killed by a left-wing insurgence from Paraguay!\\
''''(Mrs. Twice cries even harder)''\\
'''Frank:''' No... ''Bolivia!''\\
'''Ed:''' I got it! He was traded to the Cubs for Reggie Jackson.\\
''''(Mrs. Twice brawls her eyes out)''



-->'''Thug:''' Well, long ago the Earth was a large molten mass...

to:

-->'''Thug:''' --->'''Thug:''' Well, long ago the Earth was a large molten mass...
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--> '''Frank''': Went down the wrong pipe.

to:

--> '''Frank''': Went down the wrong pipe.pipe.
* In "The Butler Did It (A Bird in the Hand)", over footage of Frank and Ed in the police car:
--> '''Frank''': ''(narrating)'' Time was running out for Terri. Ed and I drove around for hours for no particular reason. We came up empty.
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Added DiffLines:

** Ed appears to be using an intercom when he tells someone to have Nordberg drop what he's doing and report for a new assignment with Frank. It turns out he was pointing to a little person out of frame: "Yes, captain."
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* A meta one. The VHS release of the show couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for "Happy Birthday", so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to a SuspiciouslySimilarSong to "Happy Birthday." It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.

to:

* A meta one. The VHS release of the show couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for "Happy Birthday", so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to a SuspiciouslySimilarSong to "Happy Birthday." It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.NarmCharm.
* In "Testimony of Evil (Dead Men Don't Laugh)", one act break ends with Frank coughing after having a drink. You think he's been poisoned, but when the next act starts:
--> '''Frank''': Went down the wrong pipe.
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Added DiffLines:

** Drebin gets a rock through the window, takes it to Forensic and gets a lecture on geology. When Drebin later shows the rock to the thug who threw it and demands an explanation:
-->'''Thug:''' Well, long ago the Earth was a large molten mass...
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** A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. [[AllPartOfTheShow Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class]], and imitate them.

to:

** A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. [[AllPartOfTheShow Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class]], and [[WalkThisWay imitate them.them]].
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** Stella tries to off Frank, but he thwarts her. The phone rings and it's her husband, Dutch, who asks if she killed Frank for him. Frank instructs her on what to say.

to:

** Stella tries to off Frank, but he thwarts her. The phone rings and it's her husband, man, Dutch, who asks if she killed Frank for him. Frank instructs her on what to say.



* A meta one. The VHS release of the show couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for "Happy Birthday," so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to a SuspiciouslySimilarSong to "Happy Birthday." It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.

to:

* A meta one. The VHS release of the show couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for "Happy Birthday," Birthday", so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to a SuspiciouslySimilarSong to "Happy Birthday." It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.

Added: 580

Changed: 2363

Removed: 154

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* In "Rendezvous at Big Gulch (Terror in the Neighborhood)", Stella tries to off Frank, but he thwarts her. The phone rings and it's her husband, Dutch, who asks if she killed Frank for him. Frank instructs her on what to say.
--> '''Frank''': "Everything is taken care of."\\
'''Stella''': Everything is taken care of.\\
'''Dutch''': That's my girl.\\
'''Frank''': "I'd sure like to see you."\\
'''Stella''': I'd sure like to see you.\\
'''Dutch''': Sure thing, baby. You still love me?\\
'''Frank''': "Of course I love you."\\
'''Stella''': Of course I love you.\\
'''Dutch''': You don't sound like you mean it, lambikins.\\
'''Frank''': "Of course I mean it, lambikins."\\
'''Stella''': Of course I mean it, lambikins.\\
'''Dutch''': Do you really, binky poo?\\
'''Frank''': "More than anything, schnooky lumps."\\
'''Stella''': More than anything, schnooky lumps.\\
'''Dutch''': Schnooky lumps? I like that. Schnooky lumps. You never called me that before. What happened last night to bring this on?\\
'''Frank''': "When you held me in your manly arms and crushed me to your lips, I discovered what it meant to be a real woman. When I think of your handsome face, your cruel lips, your strong chin, the way you touch, the way you smother me with kisses-"\\

to:

* In From "Rendezvous at Big Gulch (Terror in the Neighborhood)", Neighborhood)"
** A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. [[AllPartOfTheShow Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class]], and imitate them.
** In order to stop the mob's extortion racket, Drebin and new Squad teammate Norberg are assigned to open up a keystore in the neighborhood. When they first show up, none of Drebin's keys can unlock the front door, so they just bust their way in.
*** Norberg's many attempts to work the key duplicating machine.
** Stella turns up in Frank's office and flirts with him, asking her him to bring her key to her apartment in person:
--->'''Frank:''' ''(voice over)'' It took me two weeks to find Stella's apartment -- she had neglected to give me her address...
**
Stella tries to off Frank, but he thwarts her. The phone rings and it's her husband, Dutch, who asks if she killed Frank for him. Frank instructs her on what to say.
--> '''Frank''': --->'''Frank:''' "Everything is taken care of."\\
'''Stella''': '''Stella:''' Everything is taken care of.\\
'''Dutch''': '''Dutch:''' That's my girl.\\
'''Frank''': '''Frank:''' "I'd sure like to see you."\\
'''Stella''': '''Stella:''' I'd sure like to see you.\\
'''Dutch''': '''Dutch:''' Sure thing, baby. You still love me?\\
'''Frank''': '''Frank:''' "Of course I love you."\\
'''Stella''': '''Stella:''' Of course I love you.\\
'''Dutch''': '''Dutch:''' You don't sound like you mean it, lambikins.\\
'''Frank''': '''Frank:''' "Of course I mean it, lambikins."\\
'''Stella''': '''Stella:''' Of course I mean it, lambikins.\\
'''Dutch''': '''Dutch:''' Do you really, binky poo?\\
'''Frank''': '''Frank:''' "More than anything, schnooky lumps."\\
'''Stella''': '''Stella:''' More than anything, schnooky lumps.\\
'''Dutch''': '''Dutch:''' Schnooky lumps? I like that. Schnooky lumps. You never called me that before. What happened last night to bring this on?\\
'''Frank''': '''Frank:''' "When you held me in your manly arms and crushed me to your lips, I discovered what it meant to be a real woman. When I think of your handsome face, your cruel lips, your strong chin, the way you touch, the way you smother me with kisses-"\\kisses--"\\



* A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. [[AllPartOfTheShow Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class]], and imitate them.
* In order to stop the mob's extortion racket, Drebin and new Squad teammate Norberg are assigned to open up a keystore in the neighborhood. When they first show up, none of Drebin's keys can unlock the front door, so they just bust their way in.
** Norberg's many attempts to work the key duplicating machine.
* Drebin in Dutch Gunderson's office:
--> '''Dutch''': "Who are you, and how did you get in here?"\\
'''Drebin''': "I'm a locksmith, and...I'm a locksmith."

to:

* A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. [[AllPartOfTheShow Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class]], and imitate them.
* In order to stop the mob's extortion racket, Drebin and new Squad teammate Norberg are assigned to open up a keystore in the neighborhood. When they first show up, none of Drebin's keys can unlock the front door, so they just bust their way in.
** Norberg's many attempts to work the key duplicating machine.
*
Drebin in Dutch Gunderson's office:
--> '''Dutch''': "Who --->'''Dutch:''' Who are you, and how did you get in here?"\\
'''Drebin''': "I'm
here?\\
'''Drebin:''' I'm
a locksmith, and...I'm a locksmith."



-->'''Johnny''': [[TruthInTelevision And you wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't given up on Tommy John!]] (Lasorda looks away in shame)

to:

-->'''Johnny''': -->'''Johnny:''' [[TruthInTelevision And you wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't given up on Tommy John!]] (Lasorda looks away in shame)
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* A meta one. They couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for Happy Birthday, so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to the tune of Happy Birthday. It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.

to:

* A meta one. They The VHS release of the show couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for Happy Birthday, "Happy Birthday," so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to the tune of Happy Birthday. a SuspiciouslySimilarSong to "Happy Birthday." It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
adding funny moments.

Added DiffLines:

* In order to stop the mob's extortion racket, Drebin and new Squad teammate Norberg are assigned to open up a keystore in the neighborhood. When they first show up, none of Drebin's keys can unlock the front door, so they just bust their way in.
** Norberg's many attempts to work the key duplicating machine.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None

Added DiffLines:

* The RunningGag of Drebin's informant, Johnny the Shoeshiner. Not only giving Drebin useful tips that help crack each case, but also providing sound advice to RealLife people like Dick Clark (who also begs for another supply of Youth cream) and Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda.
-->'''Johnny''': [[TruthInTelevision And you wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't given up on Tommy John!]] (Lasorda looks away in shame)
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* A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class, and imitate them.

to:

* A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. [[AllPartOfTheShow Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class, class]], and imitate them.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
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* The Japanese garden, aka a bunch of Japanese people standing stock still in pots.

to:

* The Japanese garden, aka a bunch of Japanese people standing stock still in pots.pots.
* A meta one. They couldn't use the, copyrighted, lyrics for Happy Birthday, so they dubbed in the cast literally singing 'Something Different', with the lyrics being nonsense to the tune of Happy Birthday. It's such a terrible attempt at working round copyright, it veers into NarmCharm.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


'''Drebin''': "I'm a locksmith, and...I'm a locksmith."

to:

'''Drebin''': "I'm a locksmith, and...I'm a locksmith.""
* The Japanese garden, aka a bunch of Japanese people standing stock still in pots.

Added: 154

Changed: 1

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None


** A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class, and imitate them.

to:

** * A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class, and imitate them.them.
* Drebin in Dutch Gunderson's office:
--> '''Dutch''': "Who are you, and how did you get in here?"\\
'''Drebin''': "I'm a locksmith, and...I'm a locksmith."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
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'''Dutch''': ''(clearly tired of waiting)'' Uh, honey, I gotta go.

to:

'''Dutch''': ''(clearly tired of waiting)'' Uh, honey, I gotta go.go.
** A ballet teacher is beat up by the mob that controls the neighborhood. Her students think her poses when getting beat up are part of the class, and imitate them.

Changed: 130

Removed: 128

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'''Frank''': "When you held me in your manly arms and crushed me to your lips, I discovered what it meant to be a real woman.
When I think of your handsome face, your cruel lips, your strong chin, the way you touch, the way you smother me with kisses-"\\

to:

'''Frank''': "When you held me in your manly arms and crushed me to your lips, I discovered what it meant to be a real woman.
woman. When I think of your handsome face, your cruel lips, your strong chin, the way you touch, the way you smother me with kisses-"\\
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None

Added DiffLines:

* In "Rendezvous at Big Gulch (Terror in the Neighborhood)", Stella tries to off Frank, but he thwarts her. The phone rings and it's her husband, Dutch, who asks if she killed Frank for him. Frank instructs her on what to say.
--> '''Frank''': "Everything is taken care of."\\
'''Stella''': Everything is taken care of.\\
'''Dutch''': That's my girl.\\
'''Frank''': "I'd sure like to see you."\\
'''Stella''': I'd sure like to see you.\\
'''Dutch''': Sure thing, baby. You still love me?\\
'''Frank''': "Of course I love you."\\
'''Stella''': Of course I love you.\\
'''Dutch''': You don't sound like you mean it, lambikins.\\
'''Frank''': "Of course I mean it, lambikins."\\
'''Stella''': Of course I mean it, lambikins.\\
'''Dutch''': Do you really, binky poo?\\
'''Frank''': "More than anything, schnooky lumps."\\
'''Stella''': More than anything, schnooky lumps.\\
'''Dutch''': Schnooky lumps? I like that. Schnooky lumps. You never called me that before. What happened last night to bring this on?\\
'''Frank''': "When you held me in your manly arms and crushed me to your lips, I discovered what it meant to be a real woman.
When I think of your handsome face, your cruel lips, your strong chin, the way you touch, the way you smother me with kisses-"\\
'''Dutch''': ''(clearly tired of waiting)'' Uh, honey, I gotta go.

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