Funny: Metroid Prime

  • A particular space pirate log entry in Prime, which gives clear orders to all soldiers suffering from phazon-related mutations to report to the authorities. Mutations beneficial to combat are rewarded with a raise and bigger food rations.
    • "Science Team has vapor for brains."
    • Metroids are not pets. Metroids are not for target practice.
      • Unauthorized feeding of Metroids is STILL strictly prohibited.
      • This is apparently a big problem for the Pirates: you can scan one Metroid in their base that is moving a bit slower than the others; the scan determines that it ate a pet treat and has indigestion.
      • One of the logs in Mining Station A of the Agon Wastes is about a Pirate grumbling about how all the trips to Dark Aether are draining their power. He then mentions how maybe Command will listen once the power latrines run out of energy.
      • One Pirate decided to use a Metroid for target practice anyway.
        Injury Report 07.200.07
        Unit 686 released a Metroid for target practice today: the Metroid then assaulted 686. He should be regaining brain functions in a cycle.
    • Read the Pirate Logs in the Phazon Mines discussing Samus. For further hilarity, in Echoes, they notice Dark Samus, and then they realize that there are two of you.
      "Surely, we are cursed."
    • A log in the Phazon Mines talks about trying to capture Samus' ship. Scientists predict that the ship has a cloaking mechanism so advanced, no one will be able to find it unless by sheer dumb luck. In reality, Samus' ship is in plain sight in an open area a couple of rooms away from some aerial pirates, although this fact could potentially be written off as the cloaking device working on everyone but Samus. Even in that case, however, it'd still be difficult to not notice the rain suddenly stopping in midair...
    • A Pirate Log about the Pirates' attempt to replicate the Morph Ball manages to become funny.
      "Aran's Power Suit technology remains a mystery, especially the curious Morph Ball function. All attempts at duplicating it have ended in disaster: four test subjects were horribly broken and twisted when they engaged our Morph Ball prototypes. Science Team wisely decided to move on afterward."
    • A pair of logs side to side in a save station are rather droll for a group of ruthless pirates.
      "All Holo-technicians report to Main Observatory. Maintenance required on both holomodules."
      "Chief Astrogation Officer feels our current dual holoprojector system is obsolete. Please review and advise."
  • Omega Pirate's death. You shoot him, he slumps and collapses on top of Samus.