Crowning Moment of Funny: Pretty much anything Slevin says, but if one had to pick a moment, it's when Elvis and Slow meet Slevin:
Slow: Tell it to the one legged man so he can bump it off down the road.
Elvis: Nick, Slevin, Clark Kent, whatever the fuck your name is—the Virgin Mary herself could come waltzing up in here with her fine ass titties hanging out and everything and if she said your name was Jesus Christ, I still gotta take you to see The Boss. Know why?
Elvis: Orders. Now, you do know what orders is, right? Orders is orders.
Slevin: So I guess no one ever taught you not to use the word you're defining in the definition.
Elvis: (punches Slevin in the gut) Say something else! I will break your motherfuckin' nose, I ain't playin' with you!
Slevin: My nose is already broken.
Lindsey: So what are you gonna say?
Slevin: The same thing a man with two penises says when his tailor asks him if he dresses to the right or to the left.
Lindsey: ...What's that?
- The back and forth between Slevin and the cops when they grab him off the street for a quick word is incredible. Like many of Slevin's conversations, it ends with him getting punched.