Many of the descriptions in the family tree are funny. Slick Mickey's occupation is listed as "annoying people", while the Black Widow's is "are you wearing a wire?" The White Widower's age is just listed as "dead" and his occupation as "deading".
Skids: I'm Skids, but my mom usually calls me "the other one", or "who left this here".
And if you mess up his minigame and beat him at hide and seek instead of letting him win like you're supposed to:
Skids: Looks like I'm not as good at hide and seek as I thought I was... thanks for playing with me anyhow. I guess I'll have to do something less wholesome, like listening to rock music or taking up vaping.
The first time you exchange text messages with Pat just before 10 AM:
Pat: It's almost ten, can you come back?? Someone came over to my table and threatened me! Well.. They gave me a coupon, and told me to have a "nice" day.. But that could mean anythinb!!!!!11
And later, when you meet him at the restaurant:
Pat: Didn't you have DARE when you were in elementary school? You know, DARE: Dude, Assassins Really Exist. At least... I think that's the acronym. I was absent a lot due to my nut allergy.
Pat's homepage (which actually exists) is a parody of old Geocities pages from the early days of the internet, with a mess of shoddily-animated gifs in random places, broken images, "Under Construction" notices and a caption reading "Generated by Geoscalies". The "about me" section is just "I'm Pat!!" with a selfie where half of his face is visible, and the page containing the code to his hotel room is linked under "DON'T CLICK (PAT ONLY!!!1)" (with the URL misspelled as "psasword.txt") and is mostly taken up by the following notice:
IF YOU'RE NOT PAT YOUR BREAKING THE LAW THIS HAS BEEN REPORTED TO THE COMPUtER POLICE!
From Bub in the hotel restaurant, after Pat calls you to help with his shoes:
Bub: Hello, esteemed guest! Mr. Pat asked me to inform you to come straight to his hotel room upon arrival. He also asked me to warn you to knock first, in case he was wearing pants. But not to say that second part out loud. ..... Kindly forget what I just said and come with me, I'll walk you to Mr. Pat's room at once.
Tall Jared's minigame has you look through his cell phone to find out why it's malfunctioning. Naturally, his phone is full of embarrassing personal things. His search history, for example:
breakfast near me breakfast many pancakes sleep sounds whats the best password joke of the day
His grocery list:
krisp ricies large ham muffins (blueberry, branberry, bug acai) paper towels cleaning spray dirtying spray g o o d b r e a k f a s t sandwich bread peabnut bubber small ham
And his dream journal:
i was in the woods and i was running on all fours and there was a monster chasing me!! i'm at school and everyone is making fun of me because i forgot all math i a m h u n g r y . . . . . i'm looking at myself in the mirror and except my father is looking back at me. He turns into sand and now I am holding two hams i have fish hands and it's the best dream ever
The second time Bub is accompanying you as you pass the door to Tim's room, with the doorway still covered in the mysterious pink... stuff that leaked out earlier:
Bub: My what... beautiful wallpaper we have! So rich and distracting!
In New Game Plus, blowing off Pat's requests to return to him leads to Pat texting with the Investigator for two hours about his troubles, which you can scroll up through and read, complete with gator-themed emojis.
) is a parody of old Geocities pages from the early days of the internet, with a mess of shoddily-animated gifs in random places, broken images, "Under Construction" notices and a caption reading "Generated by Geoscalies". The "about me" section is just "I'm Pat!!" with a selfie where half of his face is visible, and the page containing the code to his hotel room is linked under "DON'T CLICK (PAT ONLY!!!1)" (with the URL misspelled as "psasword.txt") and is mostly taken up by the following notice:IF YOU'RE NOT PAT YOUR BREAKING THE LAW