- Some of the rules they come up with.
- "Because Kenny is a rat, he can't run the race." in "Who Can Win a Rat Race?"
- "No mechanical, magnetic, or any electric propulsion devices."
- "Urinating on people doesn't count." in "Who Can Piss Off More People?"
- "No land mines." in "Who Can Win a Ten Mile Race?"
- "No Gilloolying" as if Spenny thinks Kenny would really break his leg with a tire iron
- "Money must be earned legally" from "Who Can Earn the Most Money in Three Days?
- "Kenny cannot kiss chimpanzees" in "Who Can Kiss More Women?"
- "All actors must be of legal age." in "Who Can Make a Better Porno"
- "All content must be consensual."
- "You cannot fuck your own mother."
- Kenny's "Cum Rulez" from "Who Can Produce More Semen?"
- 1) No children 2) No homeless gentlemen 3) No corpses, animal or human, 4) Spenny cannot masturbate Kenny to make him cum 5) Spenny is not allowed to drink Kenny's semen
- All the rule changes from "First One to Get a Stain Loses"
- "Cannot booby trap, hijack, interfere, or sabotage the other guy."
- "No sucking tits." from "Who Can Squeeze More Boobs?"
- "All attacks must emanate from the dong/penis." from "Who Can Win a Cockfight?
- "The guy who loses loses."
- "Winning team in the winning coach. The winning coach in the winning team." from "Who's a Better Basketball Coach?"
- "Must play 'actual' basketball game."
- "Five human beings per team."
- "No juicing."
- "Because Kenny is a rat, he can't run the race." in "Who Can Win a Rat Race?"
- When mocking Spencer in "Who Can Be A Better Parent?", Kenny knocks on his baby doll's head to show that it's just plastic... and causes it to start crying. Made better with Spencer's reaction.
Spencer: Don't listen to Kenny Jr. Or Kenny Sr. Don't listen to any Kennys.
Kenny: Do I need to remind everyone that this is a doll?
- Really, all of Kenny's antics in that episode are hilarious, from stuffing his doll in a laundry hamper, to launching it off a seesaw, to sending it bungee jumping.
- In "First One To Use Their Arms Loses", we get Alan and his glorious Evil Laugh.
- In "Who Does She Like Better?" Spenny asks Eloisa if she's drunk, and she doesn't appreciate it at all.
- Kenny's incredulous reaction to seeing Spenny put on his tap-dancing outfit in "Who Can Win a Beauty Pageant?"
- The kid who is frightened by Spenny's rocker outfit in "Who Can Put On the Best Concert?"
- A man actually tries to pick up Kenny as a prostitute during the humiliation in "Who Makes the Most Convincing Woman?"
Kenny: Fuck off. I'm a cop!
- Kenny's reaction when he realized Spenny's monologue is about always losing to him in "Who Is the Better Actor?"
- Kenny wants to bring a machete in the woods in "Who Can Survive in the Woods the Longest?" in case Spenny attacks him. Made funnier by the fact that Spenny actually does attack him later in the episode.
- Spenny's Deadpan Snarker comments in "First One to Use Their Arms Loses"
Kenny: How are your arms feeling?Spenny: Not much.
- Kenny pouring cold water down his pants to wake himself up in "Who Can Stay Awake the Longest?"
Kenny: Ohhhh, shit! OH-HO HO HOOO!!!!!
- Spenny screaming at Donny in "Who Can Win a Series of Mini-Competitions?"
Spenny: YOU'RE THE REFEREE!!!!Donny: I know I'm the referee!
Referee: You can attack anywhere from head to toe, there's no punching, kicking, biting.Kenny: No biting?!Referee: No... yeah, no biting.Spenny: Can I pull the hair on his shoulders?Referee: Both shoulders touch at the same time, and I catch it as a referee, match is done.Kenny: I have no idea what we're doing, but let's do it.
- Kenny drinking his coffee, then spitting it back into his cup during the couch sequence.
- The guys not understanding the wrestling referee's explanation of the rules.
- Spenny worried that Kenny had his lawyer tied up in the back of a car somewhere in "Who Can Win a Court Case?"
- In "Who Can Stay Naked The Longest?", Spenny has an awesome freakout when he sees Kenny wearing a huge wig in front of his crotch.
- There was also Kenny's complaints about Spenny wearing a watch, which leads to him wearing a giant watch as a belt and refusing to take it off until Spenny removes his watch. Although that turned out to be part of Kenny's master plan for the episode.
- In "Who Has The Biggest Balls?", Kenny scares Spenny by winding up for a huge punch in the arm-bruising challenge... and winds up hurting his own arm.
- In "First One To Talk Loses?", Spencer walks in on Kenny using his text-to-speech program, and reacts by drawing a question mark on the dry-erase board he's carrying.
- In "Who Can Sell More Bibles?", there are multiple cutaways to Kenny as a hammy preacher that provides narration on how Spencer is falling for his scheme.
Spenny: FUCK THE BIBLES!!!
- Spenny asking Kenny not to make fun of the Bible so Christians don't pipe bomb their house.
- Kenny's half-assed Al-Qaeda style hostage tape with Sally the Rat, and him denying any involvement when Spenny confronts him in "Who Can Win a Rat Race?"
Spenny: You were wearing the same shirt, you idiot!
- One of the judges votes for Kenny in "Who Is the Better Rapper?" even though he did no actual rapping, because he "had the balls to tell the judges to fuck off."
C.L.I.P.: So I gotta go with my man KY, cause he got balls enough to tell the judges to fuck off, you know what I mean?
Kenny: I didn't diss this fuckin' OG.Spenny: Can you just talk fuckin' English?!
- All the rapper slang Kenny uses.
- Spenny's acid trip in "Who Can Wear A Dead Octopus On Their Head The Longest?"
Spenny: I FUCKIN' WAS BORN, MAN!
- Kenny's ridiculous getup while stealing the x-ray machine in "Who Can Produce More Semen?"
- Spenny's paranoia in "Who Can Stay in a Haunted House the Longest?"
Spenny: Aaah, aah, AAH! FUCK!Kenny: Shut up!Spenny: THERE'S A FUCKIN' WIRE THERE!Kenny: Okay, well shut the FUCK up!Spenny: AAH! What is that?! Oh, it's a fucking light bulb!
- Pretty much anything Kenny says to Spenny in "Who Can Catch a Bigger Fish?"
Kenny: I bait the fish with my allure.Spenny: God, the fuckin' puns!Kenny: Mayday, mayday, Spencer's mother is a whore.Spenny: DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER.... turn this off! Jesus Christ!!!Kenny: Call me Kenny, don't call me Jesus in front of everybody.Spenny: Get down there and don't touch my fuckin' rod!Kenny: That's not what you said last night.Spenny: Okay, one more fuckin' rod joke, stick joke, dick joke, I'm gonna fuckin' lose it!
- Pretty much the entire episode of "Who Can Imitate the Other Guy Better?"
Spenny: Spenny doesn't have a big black dildo! Spenny is a solid citizen!Spenny: I am not gay, I am not a homosexual, and I am certainly, uh, I mean, he certainly- Spenny- kay, Spenny is certainly... not a homosexual and certainly if he was, he wouldn't have anything to do with... with me.
- When Spenny finds out about Kenny's plot in "Arm Wrestling Competition"
Spenny: What do I gotta do? Change my name to Ikmir Vachlav so that there's no other guy?! Fuck off!
- Kenny standing on a table to make Spenny laugh in "First One to Laugh Loses."
Spenny: Get off the table...Kenny: I wanna make you laugh.Spenny: ....It's, um....hilarious... I'm fucking hysterical!
- Kenny slaps Spenny immediately after the "no phsyical contact" rule, followed by an awesome freakout by Spenny.
- Shortly after the rule "No touching the other guy (during the race)" is stated in the Ten Mile Race episode, Spenny touches Kenny to move him out of the way of his whiteboard, to which Kenny exlaims "you just lost the fuckin' race, dude!"
- Kenny slapping his nerve-blocked penis after Spenny's plan to get Bianca to give Kenny a boner fails in "First Guy to Get a Boner Loses."
Spenny: What are you doing?!
- Kenny blowing the biggest fart ever on the staircase with a completely straight face, while Spenny looks on in disbelief in "Who Can Blow the Biggest Fart?"
Spenny: HOLY SHIT! He didn't even measure it!
- Spenny's crew's insistence that he should drink his own pee in "Who Can Make the Best Viral Video?"
- The guys having to change the rules every 15 minutes in "First Guy to Get A Stain Loses."
Kenny: Change the channel, I'm begging you all to change the channel.Spenny: They're gonna start changing the channel, if you don't get your shit together, and start competing!Kenny: I'd like to get my shit together and mush it on your fuckin' suit!Spenny: I'm sure you would, you already peed on me, why not?!
- The stale bread Spenny tries to eat after the hot sauce challenge in "Who Can Handle More Torture?"
Spenny: THIS IS HARD AS A ROCK!
- Spenny's Deadpan Snarker lines in "Who Can Keep a Dump in their Pants the Longest?"
Kenny: How's your ass?Spenny: Shitty.
- Kevin accidentally stepping on Spenny's dick during the butt-slam fest.
- Jamie dressing up as Raiden from Mortal Kombat and beating the guys with a pole.
- Spenny's reaction to finding out Terah is a pre-op transexual in "Who Can Bone More Women?"
Spenny: I didn't, I didn't... I'm cool, I'm cool. I knew it, I knew it! I knew it... I-I didn't know....
- Spenny reluctantly doing everything his asshole friend suggests to him in"Who Can Piss Off More People?"
Spenny (wearing sign saying "Women are stupid"): THIS SUCKS!!!
- The fact that Kenny spends the majority of "First Guy to Touch the Ground Loses" torturing Spenny in the sex swing, only to ultimately lose when he loses control of his Segway.
- Celine Jean's reaction to Yarp Yarp in "Who's the Best Pro Wrestler?"
Celine Jean: Well I'm completely befuddled by what's standing in front of me right now.
- Kenny's epic reaction to the 3-0 victory over Spenny in "Who do Disabled People Like More?"
- Everything Spenny does in "Who Can Squeeze More Boobs?"
Spenny: I'm in a competition to see if I can touch your nipple. I get 3 points in a competition against Kenny.Man: But we are new here and we don't uh, know about...Spenny: Oh okay, welcome to Canada.
- One of the girl's boyfriends getting angry at Spenny and this crew after he touches their tits.
Spenny: What was it, were they jealous?Donny: They were angry because you squeezed one of their chick's tits!Spenny: Well, fuck!
- Kenny's argument against abortion during the debate in "Who Can Keep His Head In A Chicken Coop The Longest?"
Kenny: Do women really have enough sense? I deem not.
- Kenny's basketball team going all-out against Spenny's team of kids.
Kenny (chanting): SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!Spenny: KEVIN!!! GET THE BAAALLLLLL!!!!!!Kenny: Who's a better coach?Spenny: ME!!!
Kenny: Do you have any spare change?Spenny: You gotta be kidding me. It's a closed practice.Kenny: No, je parle de français, ne pe de parle anglais.
- When Spenny walks downstairs and sees Kenny on a pair of stilts, he asks what Kenny is doing, and Kenny sarcastically replies he has some drywalling to do.
- Kenny's homeless man disguise while spying on Spenny's practice, followed by him speaking broken French.
- Kenny instructing his team to clothesline Kevin.
- Spenny growing impatient with Aidan during the filming of his commercial in "Who Can Produce The Best Commercial?"
Spenny: PUT THE PIZZA IN YOUR MOUTH!
- Peter the theatre director becoming more and more angry at Spenny in "Who Can Put On The Best Play?"
Peter: I am not here to babysit some neurotic guy that wants to win a contest!Spenny: Yes you are, actually! That's exactly why you're here!
- Kenny blows a massive fart in Spenny's face in "Who Can 69 the Longest?"
- When the two attempt to crabwalk for the first time. The crew breaks into hysterical laughter.
- In "Who Do Black Guys Like More?" Spenny does a "roleplaying exercise" with the guys dressed as a Klansman expecting them to get angry, but they just laugh hysterically (especially Stephen, who exclaims "the Ku Klux Klan is a joke!")