WARNING: Spoilers are unmarked.
- Dante Hicks says his signature line as he's apprehended by the police in the opening scene: "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" And before that, he offers to lead them to Randall Graves.
- The SWAT captain expressing his pleasure at finally arresting Jay and Silent Bob.
- After Jay drops the plants as ordered, the captain goes "I'm the boss. He did the fuck what I said!"
- Jay then drops his pants to reveal he tucked his dick in, and the SWAT officer (David Dastmalchian) freaks out.SWAT Sniper: There's nothing there! What the fuck, sarge?! This son of a bitch doesn't have a dick!
- Jay then drops his pants to reveal he tucked his dick in, and the SWAT officer (David Dastmalchian) freaks out.
- Brandon St. Randy from Zack and Miri Make a Porno serving as Jay and Silent Bob's defense attorney.
- After he successfully completes his case for Jay and Silent Bob, Brandon takes a couple of measured steps over to the other table.
- Silent Bob dope-slapping Jay after he figures out that they signed away their naming rights to Saban Films.
- Jay repeating Al Pacino's famous rant from ...And Justice for All after the judge makes his ruling.
- While talking with Jay and Silent Bob, Brodie mentions the "mall rats"—not the kids, actual rodents that infest the mall where his comic book store is. He then throws something at a mouse that squeaks off-screen.
- Jay comments that Kevin Smith "probably has a tiny dick."
- Kevin Smith freaking out and grabbing the boom mic at the end of his promo video.
- Jay proceeds to confuse Kevin Smith with Kevin James for the rest of the movie.
- The aliases that Jay comes up with for himself and Silent Bob: "Don Juan" and "Senor Roberto Silencio."
- Jay confusing "wait: problem" with "weight problem."
- Matt Damon's cameo as Loki, in which he addresses the camera while seated in a church and recounts what happened to him at the end of Dogma. He even mentions Tom Hiddleston and his "fake British accent."
- Merkin getting arrested by police officers, with Jay and Silent Bob none the wiser.
- The Mooby's counter girl mistaking Silent Bob's attempts to order food as him wanting to flash his genitals.
- The Mooby's manager (played by Kevin Smith's real-life wife Jennifer Schwalbach) leading Silent Bob to the bathroom where she apparently has sex with him.
- Jay getting freaky in front of the counter after seeing Justice as a weatherwoman on TV. All while the Mooby's counter girl looks on in horror, then in amusement. In fact, even in the fantasy Grant Hicks is cowering underneath his desk while Justice and Jay are going at it.
- Millie effortlessly taking down Jay and Silent Bob.
- Jay waking up with his ass hanging out and his head in Silent Bob's lap as part of a ploy by Millie and Jihad to get a ride.
- Merkin tracks down Jay and Silent Bob, and throws his Hater Totz at them.
- When Jay and Silent Bob see that the girls have been captured by the Ku Klux Klan, Silent Bob distracts the Klansmen with his own version of Alec Baldwin's famous speech from Glengarry Glen Ross.
- The Klansmen getting shit all over them.
- "Who the fuck are Mitch & Murray?"
- Chris Hemsworth's holographic greeting at ChronicCon which warns users against humping the hologram (during which Millie and Jihad make humping motions) and fellating the hologram (during which Jihad makes a fellatio gesture).
- Jay and Silent Bob enter a panel celebrating the 25th anniversary of Clerks where the panelists are depicted in black and white. Jay and Silent Bob then see they themselves are black and white, look around at their surroundings which are still in color, scream in horror, and flee the room.
- Said panel has two Walt Flanagans present somehow (complete with a placard reading "Walt Flanagan 2"), referencing how Flanagan played so many different roles in Clerks.
- The Bluntman v Chronic clip with Melissa Benoist as Chronic and Val Kilmer as Bluntman.
- Chronic yelling "BLUNTMAN!" after she enters the Bluntcave. It's truly amazing how much hamminess Benoist can pack into a single shout.
- Chronic looking bored as Bluntman types in his text message, then her perplexed expression as Bluntman loads his grenade launcher.
- Silent Bob's reaction to seeing Bluntman text Chronic:Silent Bob: Holy fuck!
- After Chronic threatens to kick Bluntman in the "hater totz!":Jay: Holy shit! Merkin was right; Hater Totz does mean different things to different people!
- Chronic's line after Bluntman fires a smoke grenade at her that produces pot smoke, mirroring Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice:Chronic: [on her knees, weakened] Oh, Indica. You son of a bitch!
- Alfred (played by Tommy Chong) then appears, and Chronic makes an Adorkable smile as she holds up her arms and acknowledges him.
- It turns out the "V" that Bluntman texted to Chronic meant he was asking if she wanted to vape.
- Chronic mimicking a dog's reaction.
- Alfred asking if he's in Black Panther (2018).
- The return of Cock Knocker's fist.
- Chris Wood and Jesse Rath as audience members.
- Kevin Smith gets in some really funny lines while being held hostage. The highlight is during Silent Bob's Big Damn Heroes moment as Iron Bob, when Kevin Smith's reaction is to grin with excitement and exclaim: "Oooh, Marvel gonna sue somebody!" and "Holy fuck, I can't wait until they make him a Funko Pop!"
- Made even more Hilarious in Hindsight: Turned out they did make a Funko Pop of Iron Bob.
