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Funny: James and the Giant Peach
Book
  • The scene where James suggests using the Earthworm as bird bait has the Centipede and Miss Spider making perhaps the worst possible attempts at talking him into it:
    "You will be a martyr," said the Centipede. "I shall respect you for the rest of my life."
    "So will I," said Miss Spider. "And your name will be in all the newspapers. Earthworm gives life to save friends..."
  • During the voyage over the sea, the flying peach is spotted by the captain of the ship Queen Mary, who starts raving about giant insects, to which the Second Officer just sighs: "Oh dear, he's been at the whiskey again."
  • The Earthworm's reactions to finding out there are Cloud-Men all around them:
    "I'm glad I'm blind and can't see them, or I would probably scream."
  • When James introduces the bugs to the astonished New Yorkers, he does so in verse — and while most of the verses are at least somewhat accurate, the verse presenting the Centipede is the most nonsensical and untrue of them all, and includes some hilarious snark from one of the firemen:
    "My friends, this is the Centipede, and let me make it known
    He is so sweet and gentle that (although he's overgrown)
    The Queen of Spain, again and again, has summoned him by phone
    To baby-sit and sing and knit and be a chaperone
    When nurse is off and all the royal children are alone."
    ("Small wonder," said a Fireman, "they're no longer on the throne.")

Film
  • This little gem:
    Centipede: I've sailed all the five seas! From the sun-drenched reefs of Bora Bora to the icy shores of Tripoli! Commodore Centipede, they used to call me!
    Grasshopper: Seven.
    Centipede: Huh?
    Grasshopper: There are seven seas. And Tripoli is in the subtropics, "Commodore".
    Centipede: Trim the sails!
    Ladybug: There are no sails.
    Centipede: Stoke the engines!
    Earthworm: There are no engines.
    Centipede: I can't work with this miserable crew!
  • During the introduction of the bugs to New York City:
    James: ... and the Glow-worm!
    Glow-worm [facing the wrong way]: God bless the colonies!
  • When James brings up his plan to use seagulls to make the peach fly, he also states they'll need bird bait. The Earthworm wonders where they're going to find bird bait...as the other bugs creep up behind him. Ms. Ladybug pulls out a cowbell.
    Earthworm: Oh no...no, no...have you lost your minds? (Gilligan Cut to Earthworm with the bell on) They've lost their minds! Anything but birds!
  • "You, sir, are an ass!"
  • "Here stomach! Here stomach! HERE STOMACH!"

Jackie Chan AdventuresFunny/WESTERNANIMATIONJem

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