Funny: I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again
- Many of the puns could amount to this:
John: Beat the eggs, whip the cream, and strangle the butter.
Cinderella: There's so much to do — darn the socks, stuff the turkey, bugger the ironing...
- Also worth mentioning is the Black Cinderella 2 Goes East variation.
- The subversion of one of their regular Hurricanes of Puns in "Jorrocks, the Memoirs of a Fox-Hunting Man". One of their regular skits was to read lists of people's names (e.g Mr and Mrs Ahandbasket and their daughter Helen Ahandbasket) and after John Cleese read out "Mr and Mrs Aceousborder" the joke was so predictable that some members of the audience were already calling out "Herb Aceousborder" (a pretentious term for "garden hedge"). When Cleese instead said "John Aceousborder" the audience screamed with laughter.
- Most of the "Macbeth" story, but especially his meeting with the three Weird Sisters:
Hecate: Macbeth, Macbeth!
Macbeth: You know my name!
Hecate: No, it was just an inspired guess.
Macbeth: You evil creatures!
Hecate: Yes! We can!
Macbeth: I hear you can foretell the future! (beat) Wait a moment, that's very good!
Hecate: It's true, we can!
Macbeth: Then tell the future for me.
Hecate: Hail Macbeth!
Weird Sisters: Hail! Hail! Hail!
Macbeth: Not the weather, give me a prediction!
Hecate: Macbeth! Thou shalt be Thane of Glamis!
2nd Weird Sister: And thou shalt be Thane of Cawdor!
Macbeth: Thane?! THANE!? (Beat) What the hell's a Thane?
Hecate: You'll thoon find out, thweetie.
2nd Weird Sister: And thou shalt be King hereafter.
Hecate: And you, Banquo.
Hecate: You will not be King. Yet you shall be royal!
Banquo: Oh! Oh... I'm going to be Queen!
Lady Macbeth: We must put an end to Banquo and his son Fleance. Macbeth, I have hired two murderers! (three knocks on the door) That'll be them. (sound of door opening)
- Even better was the Cryptic Conversation that results when Macbeth meets the two assassins:
Macbeth: Ah. You must be the...
Murderer 1: Exactly.
Murderer 2: Quite.
Macbeth: As you may know, I have a little-
Murderer 1: Embarassment?
Macbeth: Precisely, it's a rather...
Murderer 2: Delicate situation?
Macbeth: Quite. You see this man is rather, er, shall we say-
Murderer 1: Inconvenient.
Macbeth: I thought perhaps he could, uh-
Murderer 1: Meet with a-
Murderer 2: -shall we say-
Murderer 1: -little accident?
Macbeth: My very words.
Murderer 1: There is of course the question of-
Macbeth: Er, say no more!
Murderer 1: Splendid, I'm sure we'll come to some-
Murderer 1 & 2: -arrangement.
Macbeth: Good. So you'll-?
Murderer 1: Exactly.
Macbeth: And he will-?
Murderer 2: Quite.
Macbeth: And it'll be-
Murderer 1 & 2: Naturally.
Macbeth: Well I think we-
Murderer 1 & 2: Understand each other?
Macbeth & Murderer 2: note Good. (Macbeth leaves)
Murderer 2: What've we got to do?
Murderer 1: I've absolutely no idea!
- In Episode 7 of "The Electric Time Trousers", David Hatch makes the most of his role as an Interactive Narrator, and John Cleese learns the difficult way that it is a bad idea to annoy such a character:
David Hatch: Well, here's the story so far. Professor Prune and his friends Trixie and Percy have landed in the year 2069, where they've been met up with Boobirella and Pikelet the Angel. They've all been caught by the wicked Fetish, king of the City of Sin. And believe it or not - yes, he's going to put them all in the Pleasure Machine! (theme music stops) Oh really! You can't expect people to believe drivel like that!
John Cleese: Do it properly!
David: Oh, come on, you can't be serious!
John: You're paid to read what's written, now go on, tell the story!
David: (scoffs) "Story"? 'S a load of old rubbish, doesn't mean anything. I mean, I might as well say, "Suddenly, there was a huge explosion, and they all disappeared in a puff of smoke!"
David: ... hello? Hello! Any- anybody there? No- I was only joking, honestly! I, I, I didn't mean to! Hello? (starting to panic) Come back!... Pleeease?...
Bill Oddie: (as though very far away) You made us disappear, you bring us back!
David: Oh, all right... they all came back!
John, Bill, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Jo Kendall: Whoa!/Oh, that's better...
David: D... did I do that? I say, that's rather fun!
John: Don't ever do that to us again!
David: (with newfound confidence) Oh! Well, you'd better behave yourselves properly and I won't have to! And don't you forget, whatever I say happens, happens to happen! So come on, jump to it, let's get on, chop chop, get lined up!
John: Oh, do shut up, you power-mad little juggins!
David: (beat) ...right. Right. Oookay, that does it! Power-mad little juggins, am I? All right, very well, you asked for it! Ha ha! (narrating) Suddenly, before he knew what was happening, John Cleese... sat on a wasp!
David: Springing into the air, he hit his head on a low beam!
John: (thump) Ooh-ah!
David: Dropped back on a trampoline, bounced out through the window, into a grand piano, out again, back through another window, and ended up in a vat of gently simmering tapioca pudding!
(cue series of sound effects including springboard, breaking glass, descending slide whistle, piano being hit with both fists, ascending slide whistle, breaking glass, and a splat followed by bubbling noises)
David: And let that be a lesson to you.
John: (meekly) Sorry...