Funny / Flight of the Conchords
Most anything Dave says but especially: "It's not a fucking school play production. It's the bird." (Dave to the guys when trying to show them how to flip someone the bird).
This is one of the best:
Sinjay (threatingly): I'm going to count to 10!
Jemaine: Are you counting in your head?
Jemaine: What number are you up to?
(Jemaine and Bret run away)
Murray telling the guys about when he was in the New Zealand army, while in a fort they made in their bedroom.
Murray: And one time... my whole platoon had to drink their own urine.
Bret: Oh, were you lost?
Murray: No, we were drunk. It was a party game. I didn't really like that part of the army. More tea, Jemaine?
Or Murray lambasting Jemaine for dating an Australian:
Murray: What about your kids, Jemaine, did you think of that? They'd be aberrations!
Jemaine: Actually it's pronounced Aborigine.
Murray is famous for stealing just about every scene he's in, but he makes the episode in "What Goes On Tour":
Murray: I'm so angry I feel like swearing!
Bret: Oh, Murray, you wouldn't swear at us!
There's also this exchange:
Murray: When you're in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend. Past or present. You get a love triangle, you know? Fleetwood Mac situation. Well, there were four of them, so more of a love square. But, you know, no one gets on.
Jermaine: Okay, I see.
Murray: Mind you, they did some of their best music then.
Murray: No, it's all true.
The racist fruit-seller listing off things he hates about New Zealanders and realizing he's actually thinking of Australians.