Funny / Flight of the Conchords



  • Most anything Dave says but especially: "It's not a fucking school play production. It's the bird." (Dave to the guys when trying to show them how to flip someone the bird).
  • This is one of the best:
    Sinjay (threatingly): I'm going to count to 10!
    (awkward silence)
    Jemaine: Are you counting in your head?
    Sinjay: Yes.
    Jemaine: What number are you up to?
    Sinjay: Seven.
    (Jemaine and Bret run away)
  • Murray telling the guys about when he was in the New Zealand army, while in a fort they made in their bedroom.
    Murray: And one time... my whole platoon had to drink their own urine.
    Bret: Oh, were you lost?
    Murray: No, we were drunk. It was a party game. I didn't really like that part of the army. More tea, Jemaine?
  • Or Murray lambasting Jemaine for dating an Australian:
    Murray: What about your kids, Jemaine, did you think of that? They'd be aberrations!
    Jemaine: Actually it's pronounced Aborigine.
  • Murray is famous for stealing just about every scene he's in, but he makes the episode in "What Goes On Tour":
    Murray: I'm so angry I feel like swearing!
    Bret: Oh, Murray, you wouldn't swear at us!
    Murray: Go fuck yourself, Bret!
  • There's also this exchange:
    Murray: When you're in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend. Past or present. You get a love triangle, you know? Fleetwood Mac situation. Well, there were four of them, so more of a love square. But, you know, no one gets on.
    Jermaine: Okay, I see.
    Murray: Mind you, they did some of their best music then.
    Bret: Rumours.
    Murray: No, it's all true.
  • The racist fruit-seller listing off things he hates about New Zealanders and realizing he's actually thinking of Australians.
  • After Jemaine starts prostituting himself to get more money, Bret comes to rescue him after calling the police. The police arrive and Jemaine awkwardly identifies himself as the prostitute; when they ask if Bret is one as well, Bret replies that he's the guy "who wears the big condom" (referencing his job as a mascot). Cut to them both in jail.
  • Any of the half-hearted New Zealand tourism posters beside Murray's desk, such as "New Zealand... Like Lord of the Rings," "New Zealand... Have a Go," or "New Zealand (It's not part of Australia)."