Funny: Final Fantasy V

  • When Faris decides to hold Lenna hostage, Bartz has some choice words:
    "You degenerate, lecherous, piratey... pirate!"
  • Also, the scene where Bartz and Galuf discover Faris's secret.
  • "There's a fish in my trousers!"
  • An NPC laments that the meteor in Tycoon didn't land on his mother-in-law. Another suggests that meteors "must be in season."
  • There's also the Minotaur battle. When its HP reaches 0, it threatens to cast the almighty Holy. Except, well, it has no MP to use it.
  • "Bartz, Bartz, Bartz... so enthusiastic and yet so stupid."
  • When you fight Azulmagia the Blue Mage, you will notice that there are a few Blue Magic spells that he does not know. If you use one of these spells against him, he'll learn it and immediately use it against you. This even includes Self-Destruct.
  • Description for a whip: "Best used when a problem comes along."
  • Description for the Dancer class: "Fighters whose smooth moves confuse enemies, leaving blood on the dance floor."
  • When your party falls down into the ruins in the First World and Galuf gets trapped in a little side area. Figuring they'll catch up with him later, the party starts to leave, and Galuf panics.
  • And when he regains his memories, he jumps, causing the question mark bubble over his head to hop off and bounce across the floor.
  • Practically every appearance from Gilgamesh. FF5 already has a much more humour-oriented script than most of the others, nobody else in the whole series can provide such quotes as:
    "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh... IT'S MORPHING TIME!
  • "It is time for your viscera to see the light of day!"
  • (Upon learning his chocobo is a ladies' man) "Slick!"
  • "You've mastered the piano!!! Others quake in fear at your superhuman keyboard manipulation skills!"
  • After Galuf's ill conceived plan to steal a pirate ship backfires, you get this:
    Galuf: Whose boneheaded idea was it to steal a pirate ship anyway?
    Bartz: Look in the mirror, pops.
    Galuf: Ohh, my aching head. I can't remember a thing.
    Bartz: And your amnesia oh-so-conveniently returns.
  • The party has just defeated a giant lobster-like boss:
    Cid: "Looks like that overgrown lobster just got served!"
    Bartz: "With cheese biscuits AND mashed potatoes!"
  • After a whole bunch of dramatic goings-on at Castle Bal involving dying wind drakes, eating poison, and collapsing from psychic headaches, Bartz sums up the party with "Geez-oh-pete, every one of you guys is always going overboard!"
  • Krile's Berserker outfit. Bartz's, Galuf's, and Faris's Berserker outfits actually look like they're wearing wolf/cat (for Faris) fur, while Lenna's is basically a swimsuit with a tiger pattern. Krile's outfit? A "disguise pajama" (according to the FFWiki).
  • Returning to Tycoon Castle after Castle Exdeath gives us this little gem:
    Guard: Dance, Dance! Get down and boogie!
    • Also...
    Exdeath: Turtle!
    • Which is followed by:
      Exdeath: Not bad, for a reptile!
      Ghido: You think I sat around seven centuries munching on pizza?
      Exdeath: Ha ha ha... Perhaps you should have taken the chance... You shall find no such tasty diversions in the afterlife!
  • Also, a lot of what Ghido says and does counts as well, along with the fact that none of the scholars at the Library of the Ancients are surprised by a talking turtle.
    Bartz: Legendary weapons?
    Ghido: Sometimes I wonder if you say things like this to spite me... Yes, the twelve legendary weapons. They are weapons. They are legendary. There are even twelve of them.
  • This exchange, when Bartz examines a certain bookshelf:
    Bartz: "A..., as..., aha!... Hey, this is about donkeys!"
    Lenna: "Er... Bartz, what were you looking for?"
  • Attempting to learn a spell you've already learned will cause a buzzing sound, the text "Don't you already know that?" to appear and the characters going into their flinching pose as if they're shocked that they've forgotten that they know it already.